To be horrified by this Metro article about standing by an offender (content warning, read with care)

[blackcatclub]

I opened this article thinking it would be about her leaving him: metro.co.uk/2021/11/28/i-was-8-months-pregnant-when-my-partner-was-arrested-for-child-sex-offences-15662442/

But no.

As a survivor of abuse I am absolutely appalled that they published this as if it was ok and the woman was not in fact deluded and minimising everything.

This is disgusting.
I couldn't stay with someone who was sending explicit images to children.

What a deluded fool, playing Russian roulette with her child’s life.

I don't see any benefit to anyone publishing this article. He sent a 13 year old girl as far as he was aware, knowingly, pornographic pictures but she has all the sympathy for him. Except the ability to shock, this article holds no value to anyone. Ever.

He knew the child was 12 and sent her sexual pics but later denied her age was a factor. 🙄

At some tags social services will stop monitoring him and then God help the children.

Devils advocate:

It wasn’t a 12 year old girl it was a police officer.

I think police and paedophile hunters should stop doing this and concentrate on people who are actually abusing real children rather than psychologically manipulating people into committing a crime.

Discuss:-

Thanks everyone, this has really upset me and your validation has helped.

He didn't actually hurt a child. Wtf!

@Ritasueandbobtoo9 you're hardly playing devil's advocate, merely excusing a paedophile. He thought he was sending naked photos of himself to a pre-teen girl, the fact it was to an undercover police officer does not change his intent.

The woman's justifications around it all are bizarre cannot understand them at all and it's clearly impacted on each of her personal relationships.
I don't understand how anyone could continue a relationship with a partner capable of this it's disgusting.
The woman seemed more put out that he'd been talking to another female not that he's a threat to children.

I think that article is a piece of fiction. It's written like something from Take a Break magazine, and it seems that the baby is still unborn meaning the arrest had only happened in the last month. Would she, in her clear state of shock, really be using that time to contact the Metro to write an article? If it is for real, then again, she's still in a huge state of shock and not in the best frame of mind to be assessing her future with that man.
There is space to ask and report on why women do remain with sex offenders, but this article isn't it.
And her comment about him being addicted to risk, not children, is interesting. Is that a feature of all psychopaths, the ones who go on to rape and murder because it's all about the risk? Women become collateral damage.

Devils advocate:

It wasn’t a 12 year old girl it was a police officer.

I think police and paedophile hunters should stop doing this and concentrate on people who are actually abusing real children rather than psychologically manipulating people into committing a crime.

Thats not playing deviks advocate that's minimising child abusers because it wasn't a relationship 12 year old. Doesn't matter. He thought it was.
I think people should stop defending child abusers. Discuss

I think she’s in shock. And grieving the life she wanted with him.

Eventually reality will hit. And if it doesn’t, she’s as much a danger to her child as he is.

Just awful.

@PicaK

He didn't actually hurt a child. Wtf!

You think sending sexual images to a child is not hurting that child?

@tallduckandhandsome

He knew the child was 12 and sent her sexual pics but later denied her age was a factor. 🙄

At some tags social services will stop monitoring him and then God help the children.

This in spades.

She needs her head checked.

In no parallel universe are myself or my DH talking about sex "in a sexy way" to a 12 year old. Or randomly messaging 12 year old for "a chat" or fun in general

That poor child.

It wasn’t actually a child although he thought it was.

I’m glad it wasn’t a child. At least a child wasn’t harmed and other children can be kept safe from this man.

But bloody hell I can’t believe she’s staying with him.

I understand this woman's world has been blown apart but I cannot understand in any way how she can stay with him. A 12 year old??!! Just no.

I was reading assuming there would be a point where we found out he was innocent or that he was under the impression the girl was 18…
Nope.
He’s just a predator. He’s a risk to her child, her family and friends’ children and any future friends her child makes and brings to their home.
If he was to commit any further offences, she should be convicted as an accessory. She’s excusing and minimising his criminality. She’s complicit.

She’s incredibly naive - she thinks he did it not because he was attracted to underage girls but because he was seeking a thrill or the taboo - ok, so what if he seeks thrills or taboo again.

It strikes me that she wants to pretend it didn’t happen because it’s too difficult to comprehend that the person she loved and trusted could do this.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

Devils advocate:

It wasn’t a 12 year old girl it was a police officer.

I think police and paedophile hunters should stop doing this and concentrate on people who are actually abusing real children rather than psychologically manipulating people into committing a crime.

Discuss:-

He believed it was a child when he sent those photos. That's all that matters. They're not manipulating people into sending photos. They catching people who have the intent to harm children, whether that be physically or through grooming over the internet. You're absolutely ridiculous to think other wise

I spent a long time working with men who commit sexual offences and also running a partners' programme. This is not uncommon.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

Devils advocate:

It wasn’t a 12 year old girl it was a police officer.

I think police and paedophile hunters should stop doing this and concentrate on people who are actually abusing real children rather than psychologically manipulating people into committing a crime.

Discuss:-

He admitted to his partner that he had been speaking to girls, plural. Or were they all police officers posing as children? Perhaps if men stopped grooming children online (and therefore making them more vulnerable to the "real" abuse you refer to) the police wouldn't have to be spending time trying to catch them.

India Knight?

She probably feels extremely vulnerable and shocked at the time of writing. I hope she changes/changed her mind once baby is here

From the article: "he has a right to prove to us that he is not the beast people believe him to be."

Not sure that's true, TBH. A man who contacts someone claiming to be a 12-year-old girl, sends photos and talks about sex is not someone who has a right to be around anyone's children, even his own.

This isn't a case where either of them think a horrible mistake has been made - he's confessed to his partner. I can understand how hard it must be to walk away having had a child with him - she can't undo that - but really, what other choice does she have in the long-term?

Really horrid situation.

@longwayoff

India Knight?

I came on to mention IK too. I do read The Times, but no longer read any of IK’s articles - she can shove her ‘perfect’ lipsticks up her arse.

For those who aren’t aware of the similarities, see the Julie Burchill article here