To be horrified by this Metro article about standing by an offender (content warning, read with care)

[blackcatclub]

I opened this article thinking it would be about her leaving him: metro.co.uk/2021/11/28/i-was-8-months-pregnant-when-my-partner-was-arrested-for-child-sex-offences-15662442/

But no.

As a survivor of abuse I am absolutely appalled that they published this as if it was ok and the woman was not in fact deluded and minimising everything.

Ritasueandbobtoo9

Devils advocate:

It wasn’t a 12 year old girl it was a police officer.

I think police and paedophile hunters should stop doing this and concentrate on people who are actually abusing real children rather than psychologically manipulating people into committing a crime.

Discuss:-

No real need to discuss, as it's a childishly simple assertion. You want the police to wait until a child is abused before acting. Rather than proactively preventing the crime!!! Weird.

The rules around procuring a crime are very clear. This means the police cannot manipulate people into committing a crime. Any evidence of this and the defence would have the case thrown out (rightfully so). In these operations the police always follow the abusers lead, not vica versa.

Fucking he’ll, she’s basically making herself complicit in this. That child shouldn’t be allowed contact with him. What a total dick pandering loser she is.

So her child isn't even here yet and she's already a poor excuse for a mother. If you can knowingly and willingly stay with a child sex offender, you are not a good mother. I hope that man gets put on the sex offenders register and in jail, he's sending children naked photos of himself (or what he believes is a child). I have no respect for women who stay with men in this situation, I know how hard it is to be a single mum but I'd rather remain a single mum than bring a man like that around my kid.

I think that article is a piece of fiction. It's written like something from Take a Break magazine, and it seems that the baby is still unborn meaning the arrest had only happened in the last month.

Exactly. He was arrested when she was 8 months pregnant and the baby still isn’t here and she’s writing this article and informing her family and all of this? Give over. The fact it’s “anonymous” only gives more leeway for a staff writer to invent whatever will get them the most clicks. And… it’s worked.

So she is happy then for her partner to change her daughter's nappy, give the baby a bath, take her out for a walk and generally be a father? All the while not actually thinking 'is he going to abuse her'? And as the daughter gets older is she really never, ever going to think he is behaving inappropriately? I don't get her thinking on this. She is not protecting her LO at all.

What do you expect it’s typical click bait bullshit designed to rile women up so they keep checking Metro. The couple may not even exist.

@ButtonSister

Exactly. They just publish crap like this because they know it will push women’s buttons and generate cheap buzz for their crappy site.

Blimey, most women with any backbone would have chucked him for the cheating, never mind the intended CSA. This is shocking.

I dunno. Spend 5 minutes on the Relationships board there are women who will put up with an unbelievable amount of shit in order to keep "their man"

I used to work with someone who stayed with their husband who was in prison for similar. She is highly intelligent, compassionate, financially secure in her own right, had a really extensive support network around her and yet still didn't leave him. It was bizarre from an outside perspective, that if someone with no logistical ties to this man would stay.

Most people would shut down even the idea of committing such a crime. He went through with it and proved that he would act on suggestion and thought it was acceptable behaviour. What if it had been a 12 year old girl? And was it honestly just that once? He'd already been speaking to other women online for 'thrills'... it's a slippery slope. 'Just once' surely has the potential to turn into 'just one more time', etc.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

Devils advocate:

It wasn’t a 12 year old girl it was a police officer.

I think police and paedophile hunters should stop doing this and concentrate on people who are actually abusing real children rather than psychologically manipulating people into committing a crime.

Discuss:-

My comment above was in response to this post.

@SD1978

I don't see any benefit to anyone publishing this article. He sent a 13 year old girl as far as he was aware, knowingly, pornographic pictures but she has all the sympathy for him. Except the ability to shock, this article holds no value to anyone. Ever.

Could it have been written by the police themselves to target male readers?

This woman must be completely and utterly deluded if she thinks he did it for the risk element.

People won't ever truly believe it of the ones they love.

We've just been through a child sex abuse case, as supporters to the victims, and my mind continues to be blown as to how some of the perpetrators family and friends, despite being SAT IN COURT, hearing the evidence, and watching them go to prison are still churning out their own narrative, painting the guilty parties as innocent victims of grooming themselves.

It's utter bullshit, hugely damaging to the actual victims recovery and generally fucking aggravating.

However, it makes them feel better for supporting a pervert for as long as they did, and after all, the truth is hard to swallow isn't it?

Eww I couldn’t even read the full article, I really hope she changes her mind for the child’s safety, this is so grim

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

Devils advocate:

It wasn’t a 12 year old girl it was a police officer.

I think police and paedophile hunters should stop doing this and concentrate on people who are actually abusing real children rather than psychologically manipulating people into committing a crime.

Discuss:-

The police don't just take a pin to the electoral role to choose an unsuspecting individual. There is no 'psychological manipulation' involved.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

Devils advocate:

It wasn’t a 12 year old girl it was a police officer.

I think police and paedophile hunters should stop doing this and concentrate on people who are actually abusing real children rather than psychologically manipulating people into committing a crime.

Discuss:-

Psychologically manipulating someone into being a pedophile- the lengths some people would go to excuse child abusers

I agree with those saying the article is fictional. It would take a good while for a person to process all that, tell family, come to terms with it and be in a state to write about it and she’s only given herself a maximum of a month as the baby is still to come and she was 8 month pregnant when it happened. So I can’t see it being true

I feel very sorry for her. Her whole life has been tipped upside down.
Shes pregnant with her first hormones are probably all over the place and shes probably scared to death about the future.
Tbh I think once shes got into a routine with the new baby and realise shes fine on her own shell dump him.
I genuinely dont think shes thinking clearly atm.

I think police and paedophile hunters should stop doing this and concentrate on people who are actually abusing real children rather than psychologically manipulating people into committing a crime.

If someone could be manipulated in to committing a crime, they really want to commit that crime. Could someone manipulate you to rob a bank? Or to have explicit conversations with a child?

Here’s how it works. The police have people who set up child profiles on the internet. They do nothing until someone contacts them to chat. They then chat with them as if they were a child, and they make it clear they are a child. When that person continues to send sexually explicit messages and tries to coerce someone who they think is a child to send explicit pictures to them, that’s when they will go after the person. That isn’t manipulative. You are fooling yourself if you think those people haven’t already done that to a child before.

@Factoryfloor

I agree with those saying the article is fictional. It would take a good while for a person to process all that, tell family, come to terms with it and be in a state to write about it and she’s only given herself a maximum of a month as the baby is still to come and she was 8 month pregnant when it happened. So I can’t see it being true

Why would it have to take a long time to inform immediate family? Surely the police would stipulate it was done before they next met or had contact? Would they really just say “at some point, whenever you’re ready, you have to tell family members with children. There’s no rush though. We know you’ve got a lot on”

Tbh I think once shes got into a routine with the new baby and realise shes fine on her own shell dump him

Yeah. You can’t move on MN for posts where a woman with a newborn decides they will up and leave their partners when they realise they are heinous twats.

He sent pictures to a 12yr old girl, the fact she turned out to be a police officer is neither here nor there as what if she had actually been 12? :(

@PicaK

He didn't actually hurt a child. Wtf!

Because he was stopped in time.

Anyway, arguably grooming a child to accept sexual advances from an adult man is breaking down their boundaries and exposing them to further exploitation from others.
The men in our society should be raising girls to have boundaries, to be self assured, to know who to say no to, to be condemning men who seek to cross the sexual boundaries of children and women.