AIBU to buy DD necessities for christmas?

[hotcocoatime]

For Christmas I usually buy DD 7 half things she wants, and half things she needs, for example this year, she is getting:

Want:
2 rainbow high cheer dolls
The Never Girls book collection
Diy bath bombs
Fashion design kit, with Lightbox, stencils, etc
Nail polish set

Needs:
Electric tooth brush
Lunch bag and water bottle
Coat
Pair of boots
2 Sweatshirts
A Pair of Jeans
Some PJs

We would have to buy the 'needs' anyways and due to being on a budget this just means that she's got more to open on christmas day, especially as we celebrate with my sister, BIL and nephews who tend to have a much higher budget than us...

I never thought there was anything wrong with this until yesterday, when out christmas shopping with my sister and she 'jokingly' called me a scrooge for always buying 'necessities' for DD

It’s totally normal. DD10 had a birthday recently and was just as happy with her new pjs as with her other presents. It helps pad out the present pile a bit and is much more useful than bits of tatt that they don’t really want.

I've always bought mine some necessities as well as wants. Underwear, pyjamas, slippers, dressing gowns. Never thought it was an issue, and as you say they have more to open.

I think it's a great idea. She will have a nice pile of things to open and they will be useful to her, too. Ignore your sister. Some people go crazy with consumption at Christmas.

I always had a mix of wants and needs and loves it, having new things is always nice! My family still do it as adults and me and DP do the same now

I always had necessities and it’s the same for my kids, I thought it was standard….pants/socks/deodorants….stuff like that always gets thrown in the stocking.

Totally fine. Hence why every year my mum gets my PJs and socks and I’m delighted!

Stuff like a nice new lunch box/water bottle and clothes is a nice treat under any circumstances. I got my boy a new water bottle for his birthday and be loves it.

Sounds like a perfect mix of wants and needs.

There's literally nothing that I buy for the kids that I won't put in a stocking (except maybe school uniform). DH laughs because he thinks stockings should be all "fun stuff" but the kids enjoy getting new pants and socks etc and it pads the pile out a bit. No point buying just for the sake of it.

I always had necessities as presents, along with a few 'wants'. It's tradition in our house to get knickers, socks and a toothbrush in your stocking (as well as some chocolate and other random bits)

Always bulk out with needs here but tend to make sure they are needs that they would choose so maybe spend a little more on ‘nice’ pjs or designer pants that I might not buy all the time.

My 2 are older teens and always get all toiletries wrapped up for Xmas. Saves me money in January but I buy them fancier stuff than normal and they really enjoy it they call it their January stuff! Necessary stuff wrapped up and at 18 still excited. Go for it!

I think it’s more the fact that you are trying to compete with your sister and try to have lots of presents for your DD to open compared to her cousins. Your daughter will be comparing what she gets to what her cousins get in terms of numbers of “fun” gifts versus not really gifts like a toothbrush. It’s not a healthy dynamic to be in with your sister.

I would suggest that when celebrating Christmas together, you agree that everyone only exchanges one or two presents each. Then have separate time without sister/bil/nephews for opening rest of presents. Then you won’t feel the need to make your daughters pile of presents look as big as her cousins and she won’t suffer the inevitable disappointment and embarrassment of having to unwrap a toothbrush in front of them.

Well I certainly don’t think every present should be frivolous or a toy. I do think they should be one up from a bog standard purchase though. I wouldn’t want a multi pack of white cotton pants or black socks. I try to make those items a bit special…. A bit of sparkle or colour or from a nicer shop than normal. Our day to day purchases might be from H&M or Sainsbury’s so I’d try and get something from somewhere like Zara.

I do exactly the same. I might buy slightly nicer versions than I would normally but my 2 get plenty of things that are useful along with some that are not!

Yes DC always open needs as well as wants
To the extent of telling them not to buy stuff from about August so I can buy it and wrap it for Christmas
Both adults now and still the same
I don't think either of them have actually ever chosen a pair of pyjamas

I remember being soooo excited about having a hairbrush in my stocking at that age. If it’s not normal then DS is going to be disappointed with his pants, socks and pyjamas. He is only 2, though, so as long as they have diggers on, I’m sure he’ll be over the moon.

I always buy DH new boxers and socks for Christmas. It usually saves him buying more in the year! Not even fun socks, because he hates trying to find matching pairs. He has a pack of 7 pairs of identical black ones, every year!

I love it when people buy me things I need and will use throughout the year. Birthday, yes, make it special. But Christmas is for a mix of fun and practical, surely?!

Always. From September onwards I put all necessities away for Christmas unless they really can't manage without until then.

If you want to pad further I've also been known to wrap "treat" breakfast cereal (a big box for very low cost) and lunch box treats.

Honestly I loved it. Especially as a student to get nice shampoo and conditioner or a new mascara, socks, knickers, chocolate, fave mask, nail polish, a book, Starbucks voucher... all wedged into a stocking!

Our family rule was: "Something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read". I'd wrap all your list, assuming to clothing, boots, water bottle and lunchbox are a step up from school uniform and basic issue.

We used to get our new bathers, beach towel and sunhat as routine Christmas presents. (Southern hemisphere) It never occurred to me that our parents would have had to buy them anyway! As long as I had new books I was happy.

I mean there was someone on the boards last year that was actually going to gift sanitary towels, so I think your list is very reasonable…

This was tradition in our house when I was growing up and I've carried it on with my own family - everyone gets socks/pants/PJs/slippers etc as well as other stuff. My own mum still gets these for me every year despite the fact I'm now over 50! DS does not know any different - and now he is nearly 20 just wants cash so it's nice to buy him these and a few treats just to open on the day

@Smokeahontas

I mean there was someone on the boards last year that was actually going to gift sanitary towels, so I think your list is very reasonable…

Nice reusable ones would be a good gift! Honestly I'm 35 and it's only this year when planning Christmas that I've realised my parents were being practical when they put Matey bubble bath and new pjs etc in my stocking. I just loved it, Christmas was a time to spoil yourself with your new wash stuff and feel all special in your new pjs and socks. DS is getting trainers and pjs but sadly no Matey as he has sensitive skin.

The year my 4dc didn't get new underwear, socks and pjs (to last the year) in their stockings there was outrage.

I've always done wants and needs because that's what my parents did when I was a kid and it bulks out the presents nicely. Needs always include some clothes and pjs, toiletries, undies and stationary.