AIBU to buy DD necessities for christmas?

[hotcocoatime]

For Christmas I usually buy DD 7 half things she wants, and half things she needs, for example this year, she is getting:

Want:
2 rainbow high cheer dolls
The Never Girls book collection
Diy bath bombs
Fashion design kit, with Lightbox, stencils, etc
Nail polish set

Needs:
Electric tooth brush
Lunch bag and water bottle
Coat
Pair of boots
2 Sweatshirts
A Pair of Jeans
Some PJs

We would have to buy the 'needs' anyways and due to being on a budget this just means that she's got more to open on christmas day, especially as we celebrate with my sister, BIL and nephews who tend to have a much higher budget than us...

I never thought there was anything wrong with this until yesterday, when out christmas shopping with my sister and she 'jokingly' called me a scrooge for always buying 'necessities' for DD

I think it's fine, but would probably get the nicer version, eg. Character pj when I normally get plain. That way it feels a bit more special, but only costs a few pounds more then you would be spending anyway.

Absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Your sister should keep her beak out. She’s probably in debt.

I've always bought things like clothes and lunch boxes for mine. Your sister is being ridiculous.

If it was pants, socks and school uniform she might have a point.

Yep always added needs stuff here. Tend to try make it a bit more fun so pj's with their latest fav character/coolour/brand they like. Teens now and they are still thrilled when they open them. I still never by socks as mother in law buys my some every Xmas and birthday I love her for it!

I do buy DD clothes but they are normally the ones I see as a treat, not a necessity. Saying that I have a teen, so clothes are now part of the "want" side of things. But when she was younger I did it like this:

A character top, sparkly jumper (not Christmas, just a more fancy one), fancier pair of jeans, the 10th hoody she doesn't need really but is desperate for or a pair of trainers from a brand I wouldn't buy normally but seem to be "in".

Underwear - apart form a joke gift, bog standard clothes - that's a no for a present.

New lunchbox, water bottle etc is fine. DD got three of her school bags as presents (she's a July baby, that comes with the territory).

I grew up with not a lot of money and got necessities for Christmas and birthday but they were a bit more nicer than the standard item my mum bought when needed inbetween.

I have always done this since they were little. They are now young adults and still look forward to new pyjamas, socks and underwear because they don't bother to buy them themselves knowing they'll get nice new ones at Xmas!

Actually i think i agree with @DockOTheBay
It does depend on the kid/ age. My girls were mostly happy getting necessities along with proper presents, but there was one year i got the balance wrong and they weren’t impressed.
Having said that, i think you have to have a year when they aren’t too impressed, otherwise you’re on an escalator indefinitely.

Their house must be full to the brim of useless crap

I'd put clothes in but not things like boots and coat.
But it's really up to you.
At that age my DD didn't really consider clothes as gifts but was polite when she opened them! But she was happy with having fewer gifts anyway. She gets presents from older siblings too so always has plenty to open.

I do that with my DC. They're teens now.
A few years ago, I asked them what they'd prefer.
To get things when they need them and just treats in the stocking. Or to have necessities in the stocking.
They all said in the stocking because they like having a pile to open.

If we didn't bulk it out with every 'need' purchase since September then their piles would be so small!!

My DC's always get food snacks/ drinks/ underwear/ jammies/books/ toiletries in their's.

What are people giving if not this?!

My DD is 8 and is getting some practical stuff for her hobby but is super excited about this. She also loves clothes and so has actually asked for some from Santa. I tend to get more “special versions” of necessities like hair bobbles, pjs etc for stockings. I. Fact my mum still does it for me!

Yep, stocking always includes basics like socks and pants and shower gel. Just a bit nicer than normal ones.

Totally doing the cereal idea. I'd never normally buy stuff like "Oreo" cereal so it is a treat!

I wouldn't buy the bog standard versions of the necessities though. Buy something special that you would not normally buy during the year.

I never thought there was anything wrong with this until yesterday, when out christmas shopping with my sister and she 'jokingly' called me a scrooge for always buying 'necessities' for DD

Did you point out that it would be nice to have a bit of sisterly support rather than have her mock you from her position of greater wealth?

In reality what you do is totally normal. Like a PP, we had outrage one year when there were no socks/pants/PJs in the pile for the ritual jokes.

We all do what we can for our children, you are wise to mix the gifts and increase the total that way, rather than go into debt to buy more than you can afford.

I always got a mix including some needed stuff. It was usually a bit nicer than the standard stuff. One year my DM embroidered my name on a really nice towel (so my brothers wouldn't use it) I thought it was a great gift. Nice PJs is another good example. I get my DC nice clothes for presents as most of their stuff is hand me downs.

I love getting necessities now and I’m in my 20s, fluffy socks, jammies, new underwear 😂 sad really...

I buy our boys new PJS, socks, smellies and pants every year for Christmas, normally goes in their stockings 😁

I forgot to get socks for my DS stocking last year. He was gutted! They were the first thing I bought this year

It is normal but I have got a friend who doesn't understand it. We went stocking shopping together pre Covid and I was buying bubble bath, flannels, toothbrushes, pritt stick etc and she was aghast. She said nobody in her family would buy necessities for Christmas and she'd be really upset to unwrap those things. She went firmly down the route of want only.

@WaningMoon

There’s nothing wrong with having clothing, toiletries etc as part of Christmas presents OP, but that’s a very sad list of ‘wants’ -does your 7 year old not play with toys ?

wow that's almost as bitchy as the OP's sister, as well as being incorrect. In what way do dolls, a book, a craft activity (the bath bombs) and art supplies not count as toys, or are in any way inappropriate for a 7 y/o? They are all pretty creative.

I think your presents are fine but I personally, depending on your relationship with your sister, have a word about how bad she made you feel. If your income is disparate now the present thing is probably only going to get more obvious over the next few years as the kids grow up so probably needs addressing.

I don't make my son wait for things he needs, nor do I waste my time wrapping them. He just has less stuff to unwrap.
I don't know how anyone can just assume that not wrapping up pants means the house must be rammed with crap. It's a bit of a leap.

It’s totally fine and your sister sounds either massively tactless/actively bitchy*

*delete as appropriate

I’ve always bought my son deodorant and shower gel for Xmas but nicer than day-to-day stuff. He also get pants and socks but again nicer than average stuff. He’d be quite upset if he didn’t receive them.