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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBI to not take the spliff?

72 replies

DrinkingWishingSmokingHoping · 28/11/2021 07:02

Clearing up 18 year old DD’s room as we’re redecorating it, and found a half smoked spliff wrapped in clingfilm. Considered throwing it away, as I plausibly could have thought it was rubbish, but didn’t - I tidied it up with the rest of her stuff.

WIBU?

OP posts:
afternamechangefail · 28/11/2021 07:09

Take it and smoke it

Kanaloa · 28/11/2021 07:17

I mean how could you be reasonable or unreasonable? I wouldn’t be happy because I disagree with buying and smoking weed for multiple reasons but obviously it doesn’t bother you so you did what’s right for you.

tallduckandhandsome · 28/11/2021 07:21

@Kanaloa

I mean how could you be reasonable or unreasonable? I wouldn’t be happy because I disagree with buying and smoking weed for multiple reasons but obviously it doesn’t bother you so you did what’s right for you.
Agreed. What do you want people to advise, OP?
Slippy78 · 28/11/2021 07:23

@afternamechangefail

Take it and smoke it
This.
TopTabby · 28/11/2021 07:23

I'd be asking her about it & telling her it's not acceptable to bring it into the house.
At 18, she's old enough to make her own choices but also to respect mine which is absolutely no illegal drugs.

Amberflames · 28/11/2021 07:25

I would have left it tidy in a very obvious place so she knew you’d seen it and see what she said.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/11/2021 07:27

Either she's old enough to clean up and therefore makes decisions or she's a kid whose mummy cleans her room.

Staryflight445 · 28/11/2021 07:34

Yabu for cleaning her room and going through her things, she’s 18 and deserves privacy

Skyll · 28/11/2021 07:37

Why are you cleaning her room?

I would’ve taken it and had a discussion where I told her no drugs were allowed in the house. I would’ve returned it after that discussion.

But in reality I wouldn’t have known because I wouldn’t have been cleaning her room.

MonsteraDeliciosa · 28/11/2021 07:41

Leave her to it. If she didn't smoke that spliff she'd be smoking another. She's not going to give up because that one gets taken away.

Sargass0 · 28/11/2021 07:44

If you leave it, you'd be unreasonale if you don't stock up on Mars bars...

MaryBoBary · 28/11/2021 07:47

@Amberflames

I would have left it tidy in a very obvious place so she knew you’d seen it and see what she said.
What a weird, passive aggressive thing to do. Why on earth would the daughter say anything? That just makes an awkward atmosphere. Don't do this.
whiteroseredrose · 28/11/2021 07:47

I'd have chucked it out.

And then had a conversation (if you hadn't already had it) that made it clear that drugs were not permitted in our house.

We have talked about this over the years so I'd have been very surprised to find it.

Polmuggle · 28/11/2021 07:53

I would ask her if she new marijuana was one of the biggest causes of human trafficking in the U.K., and understood the slave trade that supplies the privileged with their drugs of choice.

HelloDulling · 28/11/2021 08:00

Are you happy about her being/using drugs into your house?

Laladell · 28/11/2021 08:07

Depends how you feel about it, if you aren't okay with it chuck it and have a word, if you don't mind, leave it there?

Luredbyapomegranate · 28/11/2021 08:10

Well it depends what you think about it?!

If you are very anti, you could tell her you found it and you don’t want her bringing it home. If you aren’t and she seems fine generally then leaving it as you did seems sensible.

divface · 28/11/2021 08:15

I found some Marijuana at home when i was a kid. I smoke it

Parents never asked me if i knew where it went 😂

HoseMeDownWithHolyWater · 28/11/2021 08:22

@afternamechangefail

Take it and smoke it
My first thought, too.
Iggly · 28/11/2021 08:24

I don’t understand why you left it? Unless you have no issue with illegal drugs or are trying to act all “cool” about it, I see no reason to keep it.

girlmom21 · 28/11/2021 08:30

I'd have thrown it away personally. Firstly because you have no idea how long it's been there. If you're clearing out I'm guessing it wasn't left somewhere obvious for easy access and secondly because I wouldn't condone drugs in my house.

I agree with the others saying surely she should be clearing out her own room at 18 anyway.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 28/11/2021 08:31

@Iggly

I don’t understand why you left it? Unless you have no issue with illegal drugs or are trying to act all “cool” about it, I see no reason to keep it.
Because it's not the ops? I don't understand why op was even tidying an 18 yo room to even find it unless it was in a really obvious place
KittensWearingWoollyMittens · 28/11/2021 08:32

I would have left it tidy in a very obvious place so she knew you’d seen it and see what she said.
This. My mum was a master at this. I remember when she found my Sun-In (was V popular back in the 80s) and she just placed it where she knew I'd see it Grin

Chocolatewheatos · 28/11/2021 08:35

So you think she's old enough and mature enough to make sensible decisions re drugs, but not keep her room clean?

Keladrythesaviour · 28/11/2021 08:38

@Polmuggle

I would ask her if she new marijuana was one of the biggest causes of human trafficking in the U.K., and understood the slave trade that supplies the privileged with their drugs of choice.
This.

Not that I'd have been tidying the room in the first place but I'd have very firm conversation about drugs in general, a much more stern conversation about drugs in the house and then thrown it out and made it clear any other drugs in the house would meet the same fate.