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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBI to not take the spliff?

72 replies

DrinkingWishingSmokingHoping · 28/11/2021 07:02

Clearing up 18 year old DD’s room as we’re redecorating it, and found a half smoked spliff wrapped in clingfilm. Considered throwing it away, as I plausibly could have thought it was rubbish, but didn’t - I tidied it up with the rest of her stuff.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Feelingofftoday · 28/11/2021 11:32

@Polmuggle

I would ask her if she new marijuana was one of the biggest causes of human trafficking in the U.K., and understood the slave trade that supplies the privileged with their drugs of choice.
This is something I honestly wasn't aware of when I used to smoke spliffs.

If I had been I would have stopped for this reason. It's an excellent argument.

Iggly · 28/11/2021 13:07

@Kanaloa

Only on mumsnet would people try to conflate illegal drugs with a can of coca-cola like they’re the exact same level of problematic.
😂
lockdownalli · 28/11/2021 13:13

@afternamechangefail

Take it and smoke it
Friend of mine did that recently and ended up off her tits. Hadn't realised how much stronger stuff is these days (most of what is smoked now is skunk rather than the hash we used to smoke)
BritWifeInUSA · 28/11/2021 13:24

What’s the point of this thread? Are you stealth boasting that you are such a “cool” parent? If so, that’s backfired as you are cleaning your adult daughter’s bedroom and deciding what needs to be thrown away and what needs to be kept.

Your house, your daughter, your choice how you handle it.

NothingIsWrong · 28/11/2021 13:26

Drugs are banned in this house as not only do I think the illegal exploitation is horrific, but I would also lose my job if they were found here

JessieLongleg · 28/11/2021 13:30

I would tell them that smoking a spiff is dangerous and to get a vaporiser. Have a word about bad dealers and hopefully but then we will be able to buy it for social and medical reasons and not mix it will tabacco. Explain how it's used to be bad in the UK as it association with being illegal and now it's seen as less damaging to the body than alcohol and life is about everything in moderation.

bowchicawowwow · 28/11/2021 13:34

A half smoked spliff will be absolutely rank if you spark it back up. I'd have binned it and said nothing.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/11/2021 18:08

@bowchicawowwow

A half smoked spliff will be absolutely rank if you spark it back up. I'd have binned it and said nothing.
The trick is to chip off the lit end then gently blow through it from the roach end. Then it won't stink as much.

Or something.

RobertaFirmino · 28/11/2021 18:19

If 18yo me knew DM was going to clean out my room then I would have moved the joint somewhere else. Looks like she's forgotten about it which, when you think about it, is a good thing. It has little importance to her.

Crinkle77 · 28/11/2021 23:39

@Polmuggle

I would ask her if she new marijuana was one of the biggest causes of human trafficking in the U.K., and understood the slave trade that supplies the privileged with their drugs of choice.
Oh good lord. Do you really think that is going to make her stop?
Marvellousmadness · 28/11/2021 23:41

Yabu to clean up your 18yos room Grin

Feelingofftoday · 29/11/2021 14:36

Oh good lord. Do you really think that is going to make her stop?
@Crinkle77

It would have made me stop at that age.

I honestly didn't know and would have been horrified if I did. All the growers of grass that I knew were local potheads (like my uncle and a couple of friends) and I had a very naive view of the whole thing.

DrinkingWishingSmokingHoping · 30/11/2021 07:28

Oops, sorry folks… totally forgot I’d posted this thread, so only just came back to it. Thanks for the responses. I just wanted to calibrate my response, really - see if I was being too lenient.

Backstory is that I’m not rabidly anti drugs (have done too many myself, in my time), so always took the approach of open discussion about the risk-benefit ratio of various drugs including alcohol. However… despite all my discussions about moderation being key, and the effect of cannabis on developing brains, last year she was given a joint by a friend (unbeknownst to me) and smoked the whole thing on her own. She had a horrible time and some lingering after effects, so I’d strongly advised her not to smoke again.

To all those judging me for clearing and cleaning her room… calm yourselves; it was an extremely rare occurrence. Grin It’s been a pit of chaotic teenage horror in there for the last couple of years, untouched by me. I don’t think it’s at all good for her mental health, though, and as she’s been holding down a job and working hard at college (and struggles with executive function), I suggested renovating her room as my Christmas present to her. She was happy and relieved, because she felt it had become unmanageable in there.

After some consideration, I put the joint with the rest of her bits from that location, intending to mention it to her at some point. She actually asked about it the next day when she saw I’d cleared that area, and that opened a frank discussion. I’m hoping she’ll now throw it away.

OP posts:
Seemssounfair · 30/11/2021 15:56

open discussion about the risk-benefit ratio of various drugs including alcohol.

Hope you covered the violence and human trafficking in the illegal drugs supply chain in your discussions. Or does she agree that is all OK and not her problem?

MrsDThomas · 30/11/2021 16:05

You cleaned your 18yr old’s room? That itself is a crime here. OP, you have sinned and you will be flogged.

Die hard MNetters don’t do that and its very much frowned upon.

They will also analyse the situation, saying its just drugs, like you found a packet of mints. Let it go etc

I would not let it go.

Kanaloa · 30/11/2021 16:50

What’s the risk-benefit ratio of smoking weed? Other than ‘I want to’ I genuinely can’t think of a benefit. Bad for your brain, bad for your wallet, morally and ethically wrong unless you’re growing it yourself.

Anyway op, as you’re not anti-drug I’m not sure what you really wanted from this thread. Obviously you’re happy for her to smoke weed in moderation so why ask others when you’ve already decided?

regularbutnamechangedd · 30/11/2021 16:54

I gave my mum a puff of a tiny tiny joint once when I was about 23. She was delighted with herself. Grin She knew I only smoked once in a blue moon anyway, and I think she had secretly wanted to try one since she was a teenager. We never told my dad tho! When she was passing away I whispered to her how we would take the secret to her grave and she did a little laugh. Best mum.

regularbutnamechangedd · 30/11/2021 16:55

@Kanaloa

What’s the risk-benefit ratio of smoking weed? Other than ‘I want to’ I genuinely can’t think of a benefit. Bad for your brain, bad for your wallet, morally and ethically wrong unless you’re growing it yourself.

Anyway op, as you’re not anti-drug I’m not sure what you really wanted from this thread. Obviously you’re happy for her to smoke weed in moderation so why ask others when you’ve already decided?

Not that bad for your brain, in moderation. Excellent at controlling pain. I swear if I could have pumped my mum full of weed when she was dying I absolutely would have.
Tulipomania · 30/11/2021 17:46

I genuinely can’t think of a benefit

Is giving you a buzz and helping you to relax not a benefit? That's why I used to smoke the occasional spliff, although I haven't done so for about 25 years.

Kanaloa · 01/12/2021 00:04

Not that bad for your brain, in moderation. Excellent at controlling pain. I swear if I could have pumped my mum full of weed when she was dying I absolutely would have.

‘Not that bad’ isn’t a benefit. If the 18yo suffers chronic pain I suppose that would be a benefit but it doesn’t sound like she does.

Honestly for me there are no benefits to drugs that outweigh the huge risks. ‘Not that bad’ for your brain isn’t good.

Kanaloa · 01/12/2021 00:05

And for me ‘helping to relax’ isn’t worth the risk either to be honest. But I see for others it could be seen as a benefit.

KittensWearingWoollyMittens · 03/12/2021 19:33

@BigSandyBalls2015 it turned my hair to straw, made it very dry. Plus it turned my hair a weird strawberry blonde and not the platinum blond tresses I had been promised 😂

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