WIBI to not take the spliff?

[DrinkingWishingSmokingHoping]

Clearing up 18 year old DD’s room as we’re redecorating it, and found a half smoked spliff wrapped in clingfilm. Considered throwing it away, as I plausibly could have thought it was rubbish, but didn’t - I tidied it up with the rest of her stuff.

WIBU?

OP, it depends on what your family policy is on drugs (in or out of the home) and what you have previously discussed with your DD?

If you haven't had that conversation - and by the age of 18 you certainly should have - then this is the perfect catalyst to have it.

Firstly because you have no idea how long it's been there.
What difference does that make?

Because it's not the ops? I don't understand why op was even tidying an 18 yo room to even find it unless it was in a really obvious place

Would she have thrown away other stuff? If so, then why not this? Unless she isn’t bothered by it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Leave it alone lol

@Slippy78

Firstly because you have no idea how long it's been there. What difference does that make?

It might have been from when she was 15 or something - she might not have touched it for years. I wouldn't want to smoke something that had been wrapped in cling film for a while...

I would have binned it and reminded her of my rule of zero tolerance for drugs. By leaving it there it tells her you don’t care if she does drugs

I'd have chucked it, but then I'm not the sort of parent that's ok with having illegal drugs in my house.

We’ve recently cleaned/cleared both dds (19) and ds2s (18) bedrooms because we are decorating

Seems perfectly normal to me…depending on the circumstances

BUT we didn’t find anything like that, if we had then I would have binned it and had a chat to them about drugs and made sure they were aware I don’t want those types of drugs in my house

@TopTabby

I'd be asking her about it & telling her it's not acceptable to bring it into the house. At 18, she's old enough to make her own choices but also to respect mine which is absolutely no illegal drugs.

This for me.

I'd have chucked it out and had a very serious conversation about drug use and bringing that shit into our home.

Drug users/alcoholics in my DHs family which had had the knock on effect of imprisonment, suicide and violence. So it's not something I'd tolerate.

Take it and smoke it

Yep!

Weird it's wrapped in clingfilm.
Perhaps it has sentimental value?
I would be more interested in knowing the story behind it than the fact of it being there, because I'm nosy.

I just can't get over the fact that you were cleaning her room 🤦‍♀️ Just....why??

@MonsteraDeliciosa

Leave her to it. If she didn't smoke that spliff she'd be smoking another. She's not going to give up because that one gets taken away.

Goodness. At the very least it should prompt a discussion, and I say that thinking of the more lenient households when it comes to drugs. I have very few 'rules' in my house, we don't have draconian bedtimes and meal times rules like a lot of people with their teens but I don't and won't ever tolerate drugs. I abhor drugs.

I would have binned and had also a serious conversation.

But the scenario is unlikely to happen as I wouldn't be tidying his room without him there helping and he also knows I have zero tolerance of drugs so he would have hidden it better!!!

I don't and won't ever tolerate drugs. I abhor drugs

Do you drink alcohol?

@SequinnedShawl

I don't and won't ever tolerate drugs. I abhor drugs

Do you drink alcohol?

No I don't, however I don't see the relevance tbh.

@afternamechangefail

Take it and smoke it

Absolutely this

@KittensWearingWoollyMittens 🤣what was her problem with sun-in!

@SequinnedShawl

I don't and won't ever tolerate drugs. I abhor drugs

Do you drink alcohol?

Yes because buying and consuming a legally allowed product is the exact same as buying an illegal drug with no trading standards or regulations around making it, and supporting trafficking and other illegal activity into the bargain as well.

And for the record I don’t drink.

@FindingMeno

Weird it's wrapped in clingfilm. Perhaps it has sentimental value? I would be more interested in knowing the story behind it than the fact of it being there, because I'm nosy.

Probably because a half burnt joint will absolutely stink.

@SequinnedShawl

I don't and won't ever tolerate drugs. I abhor drugs

Do you drink alcohol?

And caffeine?

And caffeine?

Alcohol was a stretch, but caffeine?

Please explain?

I would have thrown it away and hoped that by the time she came back I'd calmed down enough to calmly explain that she'd be moving out if it comes into my house again, instead of shouting. But everyone is going to say something different.

Only on mumsnet would people try to conflate illegal drugs with a can of coca-cola like they’re the exact same level of problematic.