AIBU to find my mum's behaviour creepy?

[PAR1982]

I don't have the best relationship with my mum who lives abroad. We have a 20 month old lockdown girl, who she finally met in August and a 3 week old girl. Today gifts arrived, so I called to thank her. She showed me this doll that looks like my eldest. She says she's been making clothes for it, used my daughters' shampoo on her, has cut its hair twice, and called it after my eldest. Given we see each other at best once a year, I'm finding this really creepy. AIBU?

Yep
Creepy

Or disturbing might be a better term

Oh I feel a bit sad for her, sounds like she just desperately wants to be closer to her grandchild

I'd be worried that she isn't well. Has she got people around her who would get her help?

Definitely a bit odd....

Maybe she is just lonely and is missing her grandchildren.

Could you try facetiming or calling her more.

I think it is creepy calling your mother creepy.

Sounds as though she formed a bond with your daughter when she met her during the summer? The scent of the shampoo reminds her of your daughter.
A bit strange yes, but almost certainly harmless.

You sound horrible. I'd be worried about my mum, not calling her creepy on an internet forum.

Sounds like she misses her grandchild.

Whole thing sounds odd. Not least your toddler looks like that dolly?

Weird but harmless I would say. I mean, she's found a way to cope that doesn't hurt anyone. It would be far worse if she was calling you up constantly berating you for not visiting more, or planning to buy the house next door to you!

Its not as unusual as you would think to have dolls that comfort people for a variety of reasons.

Its definitely unkind to start a thread calling her creepy, but you could have a think about how you could support her in feeling less lonely.

I would be worried about her mental health.

@hangrylady

You sound horrible. I'd be worried about my mum, not calling her creepy on an internet forum.

This. You sound mean

I'd worry that she's not coping very well. It's odd behaviour.

Is it really harming you? you should learn to be nice about your new sister.

@Landof

Sounds like she misses her grandchild.

Pretty awful responses using the words creepy, op's included. DM probably missed her dgc and the shampoo reminds her. Harmless enough unless there is a drip thread on it's way.

My mum recently moved into a special unit for people with dementia. They have lots of dolls there. The manager said they are a great source of comfort and as the dementia sets in, the old people play with them just like small children play with dolls. It could be your mum just desperately misses her granddaughter and is trying to show this without making you feel guilty. Or it could be that she's started the regression towards childhood that some people have as they get older.

Either way, unless she was an absolute cow and neglectful of you, show her some kindness and respect and connect with her.

You not only tell random strangers on the internet that your mum is “creepy” you also say your dd looks like a doll

@SoniaFouler

Is it really harming you? you should learn to be nice about your new sister.

Eh?

give it time before someone mentions the D word, as anyone who acts out of character might have D.

cross post about d word

She sounds like she has mental health issues and needs sympathy not judgment.

@hangrylady

You sound horrible. I'd be worried about my mum, not calling her creepy on an internet forum.

Awful isn’t it. I felt the same. My heart would sink to hear strangers joining in, name calling my mum.