To wonder what your colleagues do that drive you insane?

[RainbowBriteUk]

My office is open plan and my colleagues are wonderful BUT there's this one person who eats nuts with the crispy edge. I don't know what they're called but they're so noisy to eat and to add, he's not the quietest eater at the best of times so the horrid crunch sound and then the wet eating sloppy sound drives me insane. It's at regular intervals of the day too! I take myself off for a long poo at these times when it gets too much!

Narrates EVERYTHING they are doing, away to do, need to do - out loud.

I just wanna scream shut up

I had a colleague who sat opposite me in a small 2 person office. She was much less busy than me in her job, just had a smaller more manageable workload. She wanted to chat all the time. She thought I was grumpy and quiet. It was like a scene from Smack The Pony.

I have one who hates his job, forever moaning about it, but he's about everything, hates change even if it gets positive results, draining the life out of the rest of it.

Has been offered other roles within the company but doesn't want to move either. Just prefer to stay and swallow in his negativity.

Why stay where not happy especially when there are other options available? Drives me insane.

I work in a mobile unit that has deployment to different locations daily. Every fucking day several colleagues debate the best route to these locations. It drives me insane. They spend so much time in the morning discussing routes when we could all just get in our vehicles and use SatNav.
We are also supposed to drive in convoy which means nothing to them the minute they get into a vehicle.

"Narrates EVERYTHING they are doing, away to do, need to do - out loud."

Yes, this! He even reads his emails out loud!

One person who wants to have a call about every single thing. Teams would be so much faster eexpecially as when we get on a call, she is unprepared and I have to wait for her to open all her files etc.

Texting me when I'm on annual leave

I have one who is cynical beyond measure and it means no one can ever suggest any improvement as they just tell you it is pointless

Oh and one who attends the team meeting but sits with their back to the camera and ignores everyone! I sometimes really, really wish I was this brazen

The surgeon who used to nick food. I was a theatre nurse, and if we had a case that went on over lunch time, the Sister could order sandwiches for the staff (otherwise we’d get no lunch). She would put aside sandwiches in bags for the nursing staff, with our names on, because we had to clean theatre and wash and sterilise the instruments before we could go and get our lunch - whereas the surgeons finished as soon as the last stitch was done and the dressing was on - and if Sister didn’t put sandwiches aside for us, the surgeons would eat the lot.

This particular surgeon would eat the sandwiches put out for the surgeons, and would then go through the fridge and eat the nurses’ sandwiches too, and would out the empty bag back in the fridge, with just the odd shreds of grated cheese.

Bastard.

This was 24 years ago, and I am still cross.

Another one who narrates everything he reads/thinks/does. He literally can’t be quiet. One day I timed him, and the longest he went without speaking was 45 seconds.

My boss thinks I am a bully because I don’t respond to every word this man makes. Okay then.

I suspect I'm the annoying colleague, I talk, dance and sing most of the day, many times actually at people! But I'm also the boss, and most times the staff join in which keeps the customers entertained!

A raucous laugh and sometimes sounds like Sid James.

Inability to spell or even look up the correct spelling.

Inability to retain information after 2 years in the job.

@lanbro

I suspect I'm the annoying colleague, I talk, dance and sing most of the day, many times actually at people! But I'm also the boss, and most times the staff join in which keeps the customers entertained!

You're more of a chilled out entertainer, aren't you...?

I work with a girl who,without fail,feels ill every shift
Then she starts with anxiety and shaking
If they don’t play ball and send her home,then she has a ‘panic attack’ (fake breathing heavily-no way is it a real one)
If that fails to work then she pretends to faint
If that doesn’t work she phones her dad who comes to pick her up and off she goes

It’s every bloody shift-if she hasn’t rang in sick first-we’ve taken to betting on how long into the shift it’ll be before she starts feeling sick-I won the £1 last time for guessing ten minutes-9 minutes in she started

Oh and she’s ‘scared’ of going upstairs and point blank refuses to walk upstairs even tho she’s fine in our upstairs staff room (it’s just the customer part she doesn’t like)

Drives me mad that she gets away with it-my boss isn’t understanding of mental health at all but she just claims she has anxiety and off she goes-leaving us to pick up the slack

One who can talk for 10 minutes without ever really saying anything. Who can also never answer a question it say ‘I don’t know’ but will instead waffle around the houses with us being none the wiser.

Another who tells us all weekly that she NEVER switches her work phone off and thinks we are all terribly unprofessional for doing so. We work 9-5, we are y so important that anyone would need us to respond outside of hours and we have an on call team if there was a problem.

Last, the one who laughs after every single sentence he says. He is not funny. I feel some sympathy as I imagine it’s a nervous thing.

Show no initiative whatsoever. They think the problem fairy will sort it for them. Otherwise known as being a lazy fuck.

If you are too busy to deal with a vital task you need to speak UP not expect it to just go away. If you don’t know how to do something don’t just leave it - ask.

Really really grates on me.

I work with a man who struggles to solve problems and can't think on his feet. He will leave things to snowball until he needs helping out, then - no matter what it is you tell him he needs to do to solve his problem - he says "Yeah, that's literally what I'm doing," or "Yeah, that's literally what I always do." So why the fuck are you wasting my time if you're literally doing everything right already, dickhead?

I have one colleague who doesn’t pronounce ‘t’ if it’s in the middle of a word. So she will put buh-her on her po-hay-hoes and one day I will murder her for it.

Slurps tea. Can't BEAR it.

I have one who takes over every conversion with anecdotes of the things she's done.Ages leaving next week though so yay

Shes

Po-hay-hoes 🤣

Has declared that they are perfectly able to work from home as they dont need access to the paper files only to ask me multiple times a day to scan something over to her from the paper files.

@MintyGreenDream

Po-hay-hoes 🤣

Honestly, it’s infuriating. There isn’t a jury in the land that’d convict me if I killed her over it.

@lanbro

I suspect I'm the annoying colleague, I talk, dance and sing most of the day, many times actually at people! But I'm also the boss, and most times the staff join in which keeps the customers entertained!

Tell me you’re a children’s party entertainer, and not, I don’t know, a dentist or Dulux paint matcher?