To wonder what happened with date?

[RainbowBriteUk]

I went on a date at weekend. He was as lovely as he's been chatting to (we met on OLD). The date was really nice and we've both said we want to see each other again.

However, on the date we went for a coffee and then later on we went for a drink at the pub. Both times we both went to get my card out/his change purse out and I said I'll pay and he just said OK and let me. I was a bit miffed at this. It was only just over £6 for both lots of drinks so it's not going to bankrupt me but at the same time I would've liked him to say that he would get them. Would this put others off to?

I’m just here for the change purse comments 😂

He didn’t buy his round essentially so there wouldn’t be a second date with me

I'm imaging the change purse as maybe tapestry with a clasp top. I'm also imagining long fingernails. Or maybe a beaded and embroidered thing? Please tell us about the change purse and what drinks you had!

Any spark between us would have died the second I saw his change purse.
Perhaps he was slow getting his change purse out of his pocket as he realised his purse wasn't exactly a great accessory and in hindsight he wished he'd bought an actual wallet?

@abenbaked

Sorry, did you say his change purse? That would have done it for me!!

😂😂😂😂 I was thinking the same.

Ditto

@1u1a

“You can’t offer and get mad that he took it”

Yes you can . He should have insisted.

No you can't. If you offer, expect the offer to be taken up.

The change purse would have given me the immediate ick.

@DukeofEarlGrey

Can someone post a picture of a change purse please?

Have you not heard of Google?

I feel strangely sad about everyone taking the piss out of this man! Being tight is obviously awful but a change purse could be worse?!

Incredibly rude to let you pay both times. How would you feel if you went out with a friend who did that??

There would be no second chances from me - unless he offers to take you out in a way that makes it clear he fully intends to pay

@Onlinedilema

So many questions. What was his change purse like? Where can you go to get 2 coffees plus 2 other drinks for £6? What did he look like? I'm imagining he has a side parting with his hair combed down into place. Light coloured shoes and a navy cardigan. Probably wears glasses too. I'm hoping he doesn't have long finger nails.

Sounds like a ex of mine, right down to the side parting. 😂 Seriously, it sounds just like one of the blokes I dated before I met my DH, (that I mentioned on another thread yesterday,) who followed me around like a shadow, waiting for me outside work at lunch and everything. Clutching a lunchbox and flask, and with a satchel over his shoulder. I'm not kidding! (This was the 1980s, and we were in our late teens, but still.... )

@DukeofEarlGrey

Can someone post a picture of a change purse please?

Here you go. Mens change purses are like this... You can get various ones.

www.amazon.co.uk/b?node=11968006031&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

I guess it's not TOTALLY naff/weird for a man to have a change purse, as long as it's in addition to a normal wallet ... As a couple of pps have said, they are handy for holding coins, as mens wallets don't have a coin compartment.

It's just, from what the OP has said, it seems like this man had only a change purse, and no wallet, and probably no notes. Just change.. And why would he be using that (a change purse with just coins in,) to pay for drinks on a night out?

A change purse would be something I would expect a man to keep in the car with coins in it for tolls, and parking meters, or maybe take it on a daytrip to the beach for ice creams and hot dogs and fair rides for the kids. It's not something I'd expect a man to take on a date!

Even so, this thread is probably one of the funniest I've read on here for ages!

I'm picturing one of these bad boys. Brings back lovely memories

As my gran used to say "Nowt so unattractive as a tight man" (She wasn't the least bit northern) and never used the word nowt for anything else).

The fact he didn't insist on paying for at least one would have put me off, yes.

But I'd give it another shot if you both got on well.
Although from a different perspective. When I was thinking of online dating after splitting from long term partner, I was pretty out of touch I think and asked advice from some friends, men and women about who should pay.
Some said he should, some said split it, some said I should. It was confusing! But one thing did stand out after reading your post in that one bloke said his mates had told him if he went on a date and the woman offered to pay he should let her because women hate it when men pay and might be insulted if he insisted on paying. He was the sort who would ordinarily have insisted I think. I did tell him that would be rare!

So just perhaps your bloke has had the same shit advice? And didn''t want to offend you.

Or hes just cheap, but another date should clear it up I reckon.

Don't offer to do stuff you don't want to do.

Absolutely no way I'd see this man again.

There is no way I'd have offered the second time though OP - you should have kept quiet.

I'm imagining one of those zip up purses with beads that look like hundreds and thousands all over them

Haven't watched Coronation Street for years but would a change purse be something Roy Cropper uses?

@LittleDandelionClock @SpamIAm Thanks for the pictures

The change purse could be very endearing but it's hard to know without more details.

Why did you offer to pay twice? He probably thought the amounts were so small that it wasn’t worth arguing with you about, and will insist on paying when it’s for something more substantial like a meal ……if he can fit the price of two meals in his change purse that is.

He’s a tight git but why on earth did you get your card out the second time as well? Unless you were testing him?

If you do see him again, let him pay or go halves. Have fivers ready so you can pay the waiter for your share and leave quickly if he plays the ‘I forgot my wallet’ trick.

You offered. Some women hate men buying them drinks, he was just agreeing with you.

It wouldn’t put me off him.

(But, if I was the guy and found out that someone had offered to pay then sulked about having theirnoffer accepted and went on social media to moan about it, that would definitely put me off the girl!)

Sounds like you need to learn how to communicate on dates a bit better. If you expect him to be a mind reader / want everything perfect all of the time, you might find yourself permanently single.

Change purse?!

It's your fault for offering to pay then expecting him to overrule you. Basically you were playing a game with him where he would lose either way - either you could say he was wrong for accepting your offer, or he was wrong for refusing to allow you to do what you wanted to.

But yeah, a guy with a change purse, you're well out of it for that reason alone.