To wonder what happened with date?

[RainbowBriteUk]

I went on a date at weekend. He was as lovely as he's been chatting to (we met on OLD). The date was really nice and we've both said we want to see each other again.

However, on the date we went for a coffee and then later on we went for a drink at the pub. Both times we both went to get my card out/his change purse out and I said I'll pay and he just said OK and let me. I was a bit miffed at this. It was only just over £6 for both lots of drinks so it's not going to bankrupt me but at the same time I would've liked him to say that he would get them. Would this put others off to?

@1u1a

“You can’t offer and get mad that he took it”

Yes you can . He should have insisted.

See the thing is - some people want to pay and get offended if you insist. Some women want to go against tradition and pay instead of the man. With the next date on him, etc. I’d expect someone to hang back if they didn’t want to pay and I was also getting my wallet out. If they didn’t is assume they wanted to pay, maybe they thought I was too slow etc.

Why not be direct?

@takeasadsongandmakeitbetter

Sorry, did you say his change purse? That would have done it for me!!

All in seriousness though, maybe give him one last go but next time don't offer to pay!

I was just going to say that! Who the bloody hell has a change purse?

"Change purse"?

LTB.

Was he going to pay in coppers?

I'd have left him there and then if I saw a change purse!

Fuck that, good that you offer but he doesn't have to take it. A real woman can do it all herself - a real man won't let her.

I expect the man to buy the first coffee/drink. Old fashioned according to some but seeing as we still live in a society where men have greater earning potential...meh.
I wouldnt even give him another chance. Set your bar high. Block the scrooge.

Yes it would put me off and I wouldn't see him again. Absolute cheeky bastard. I hate miserliness, such a horrible trait.

To those mocking 'change purse' maybe the OP isn't from UK!

This is him on his best behaviour trying to impress you…don’t see him again

Don't play stupid games. Don't say things you don't mean.

He should have insisted the second time. Regardless of sexual politics you'd bought the first round.

@DroopyClematis

To those mocking 'change purse' maybe the OP isn't from UK!

And this is relevant how? I've lived in cities across 3 continents and can't think of anywhere a male change purse isn't wankerish

Change purse ? I would've left as soon as he fished that beauty out .

My DH took my offer of splitting the bill on the first date because he got flustered! Bless him. He went and told his family that I paid half and they all gave him a talking to, with instructions for him to pay for date 2.
He did and here we are nearly 8 years later, married, with a baby!

I never let him forget it though

Perhaps he was trying to be 100% sure that you’re not one of those women who want the man to pay for everything.

Would of put me off!!

I deliberately paid half on first date with now-DH, because it’s important to me that we were a meeting of equals and I wasn’t some freeloader.

Halvsies or taking turns is absolutely fine. Either sex not paying their way (you too, all the women who think men should fork out because of their penis. No different to expecting women to cook and clean by virtue of their vaginas) is not fine.

Ditch him, unless you really liked him enough to date a second time and see if he’s still tight.

The term “change purse” is a way bigger issue here than who bought the drinks.

Change purse issue... perhaps he is an older gentleman?

But whatever, he is stingy, I'd leave it. Unless he ticks all your boxes in other areas.

Since you offered he accepted. I would give just one more chance. Do not even reach for your wallet though. If he doesn’t offer I’d fake illness and just leave him there.

I felt saw the breeze blow over the dry shifting sands of the Sahara as I read the words "change purse"

Why did you offer to pay for the second round?

Obviously that’s only the second weirdest thing because, change purse.

But - you both got your payment method out, and you offered to pay first time. Fine. Then next place, you both did the money out thing again - so at that point, why did you offer again? Just weird.

That would put me off and I have experienced something similar recently...
The first meet he bought the coffee, I did not offer to get him another drink as I prefer to keep initial meets short.
The next few times we met I offered first as he had travelled a few miles to meet me. Each time he did not suggest getting us another drink and was quite happy to sit and chat for over 2 hors over one drink.
Whilst I knew he liked me, he certainly was not out to try and impress me. At the first whiff of tightness I am out.

Change purse???