Husband telling me my braxton hicks shouldn't be painful

[HyphenCobra]

Okay so may have just shouted at my DH and feeling a bit guilty 🙈 but also quite incensed lol

I have never had braxton hicks contractions in pregnancy before.

This pregnancy since late first trimester i was getting this really weird sensation in my stomach like a tightness, but it made my heart rate quicken and like an out if breath feeling. Honestly can't describe it! Not painful but certainly not comfortable at all and definitely not something i could just ignore.

So in second trimester after lots of googling, i realised what it was - Braxton Hicks!!

So they've gradually gotten worse and i get some every day. Often if DH is around and i am having a strong one i get him to squeeze my hand hard whilst i just breathe until it tails off and goes. Sometimes they last like 2 minutes 😒

Anyway - today. We are having a discussion and i say to him to hold on a minute, i then just quietly sit there, just waiting for the feeling to pass of a BH.

After, DH says 'BH shouldn't be painful or uncomfortable. I googled it. If it's that bad you should really be speaking to the GP'

😶😶😶😡

This seems to be his passive aggressive answer to anything if he thinks I'm being melodramatic.

I was not doubled over, or have ever been. I have tried to explain what they feel like, but it's so hard to articulate. I hate getting them as it's so so uncomfortable and hate how it makes my breathing/heart rate feel all funny. But no, him who has never been pregnant has consulted google, and i am just either over acting it or have some serious medical condition!!

AIBU to be peeved at his response? Or not?

Btw this isn't just him being concerned or anything. He was annoyed we had to pause our discussion.

Squeeze his scrotum really hard with each BH. Tell him it isn’t hurting.

Tbh I think he’s being v fair and sounds a bit worried.

No uterus, no right to pass comment on the matter.

He is being a bit of a dick to say they shouldn't hurt. They affect people in different ways

Braxton Hicks since first trimester and daily for the last few months seems much more frequent and for longer than I would think is usual, so it would be worth mentioning to your MW next time you see them.

He's not saying they aren't painful. He's saying That they shouldn't be?

I would be annoyed too.

He's right it shouldn't be PAINFUL, though it is a very strong sensation, but you say it's not. Has he not been helpful during your pregnancy? On this alone I don't really see an issue...man Googles symptoms for pregnant wife and sees when it might require medical attention. And it seems he gave you the necessary time to let it pass, he respected that. But if it's part of a wider context that might change things.

Use Rachel’s line “no uterus, no opinion”

I had braxton hicks contractions from 28 weeks. They were always painful. However, depending on how many weeks you are and how long they go on for and whether you have any other symptoms, it is worth mentioning it to your midwife.
I have voted that YANBU, but it depends on whether you think he is genuinely concerned about your health, or if he just wants to be right.

Oh and a leg cramp shouldn't be painful either. It's just the muscle contracting after all, isn't it...

Mine were aggravated by constipation when I was put on iron tablets. Irritable uterus is worth looking up.

He's right though...

Kick him in the balls and tell him it shouldn't be that painful - you've googled it.

He’s right. He isn’t denying you feel pain, he is telling you you shouldn’t, and he’s right.

The whole “no uterus no opinion” is just a load of bollocks to shut men down when you don’t want to acknowledge they’re right 🤷‍♀️

Yeah compared to labour - another pain he’ll never experience - they’re not uncomfortable.

My BH made me breathless. And sometimes I thought I would pee my pants.

YANBU

I had BH throughout each pregnancy. With the first one they were just tightening but with the second they were really painful. My MW said the difference between BH and contractions is regularity. If they are regular then they are contractions but if they're irregular then they're BH. They can still hurt though. Always worth mentioning to the MW though just in case.

@girlmom21

He's right though...

Indeed, but omg men suck etc.

In all seriousness though - if you are worried, please see the Dr. Yes they hurt - but they shouldn't be unbearable. Totally normal to need to stop and catch your breath during them. My issue would be with Dr google. No one, man or woman, should be dismissing how you are feeling because they've googled it and therefore know better.

I mean in his defence ALL the literature says that BH are not painful and if they hurt you should get a medical person to check you over.
I don’t know why they persist with this because BH do hurt!

He’s right. He isn’t denying you feel pain, he is telling you you shouldn’t, and he’s right.

The whole “no uterus no opinion” is just a load of bollocks to shut men down when you don’t want to acknowledge they’re right

Bollocks.

@FadedRed

Squeeze his scrotum really hard with each BH. Tell him it isn’t hurting.

This

Yes they are uncomfortable. Op said this "not painful but certainly not comfortable."
So he's quibbling really.

No he's not 'right'.

I had them - some I would absolutely describe as painful, especially very late on.

a. it's subjective
b. Dr Google needs to be struck off

Fine for him to be concerned for you though. But he's quite ill informed here.

I found BH ok in my first pregnancy, but very uncomfortable and sometimes painful in all subsequent pregnancies.

Mine was nothing sinister, but I did speak to my midwife about it and she checked me over. It might be worth taking DH's advice about the GP, just to be cautious - I'm assuming he is being genuinely concerned and not just being a twat. I could be wrong...

The whole “no uterus no opinion” is just a load of bollocks to shut men down when you don’t want to acknowledge they’re right 🤷‍♀️

no