About my husbands beard

[ClickClackClock]

Morning all, just wanted some independent advise. My husband (together 15 years) has suddenly decided to grow a beard. We are two weeks in now and I hate it, not how it looks, but the way it feels when he kisses me. Now I don't want to do that at all. Part of me wants to embrace it as it seems too controlling to say "shave it off or I won't kiss you" but essentially I don't want to have to do something I find unpleasant. Some of my thoughts have been that it seems quite selfish to do something you know your partner hates (and he does know) but then the other more reasonable part of me thinks but surely what he wants is also important. Help!

@TheUnexpectedPickle I always thought they (and narwhals!) were mythical creatures too .

I picked the name after hearing Noel on Bake Off saying he was raised by pangolins

Whilst he should have the option, it makes 90% of men just look like silly fashion victims in my opinion.

@RaisedByPangolins

But but but, he doesn't like my hair short. I sometimes do cut it short if I want to but I definitely take his opinion into account as I want to look attractive for him as he's my husband.

So he doesn't have the beard because he knows I hate it. I dont have short hair for the same reason.

Same. I love having short hair but I know DP prefers it longer so I don’t do it (usually). Have had a couple of ‘unauthorised’ hair cuts in the past and he’s always been complimentary but I can sense that he’d rather I didn’t, so as a rule I keep it Bob length.

As for pubic hair, he doesn’t really have a preference but I certainly would expect him to get up close and personal without at the very least giving it a good trim! As I’m not fussed about oral I just don’t bother with it, but if I was expecting it then I’d make sure it was a pleasant experience for him too.

This is really sad. Have your hair the length you want it. I'm am so pleased I don't have a DH to pander to like this. My man takes me how I am physically or he can go else where. I'm not changing how I look for a man

@noswaithda1

Whilst he should have the option, it makes 90% of men just look like silly fashion victims in my opinion.

It depends on the individual. Completely stereotypical Bs.

I'm with you. My DH grew one. I told him that it was fine but I wouldn't kiss him or consent to oral sex whilst he had it.

He shaved it off after a few days

Dh has over the years grew and shaved them off. I like his when it is neat and tidy. But it's choice and am not going to be bothered over such. He doesn't dictate how I look so why should I.

The reason he has one now and always probably will is health reasons. He is on blood thinners. Before he took them he always managed to nick himself. Now we don't want to think of what would happen.

He also has other medical reasons for not shaving . A beard even it is untidy is better than his health going wrong.

A beard is neither here nor there. I love him for who he is .
Yes I prefer him clean and tidy but it's not the be all and end all.
I guess we just have been together quite a long time.

My dh has always had designer stubble, I love his rough cheeks! Especially between my thighs

My husband can't grow one. I love beards

@RaisedByPangolins so he did!

I also thought narwhal were mythical. Also, embarrassingly, I thought storks were just mythical baby bringers until a couple of years ago when my mum clued me in and hasn't stopped laughing since 😳

@Lifewith

And what if he said I'm notgoing near you if you don't shave your legs??? No sexy time or kissng for you unless you have your hair how I want it. It's his body.

So many controlling comments on this thread.

@Lifewith

And what if he said I'm not going near you if you don't shave your legs???

Then I would shave my legs.

Controlling my arse. It's called give and take. When you're in a marriage/partnership, you do actually do things sometimes, that you don't necessarily want to do, and sometimes to please your partner.

That's what happens in grown up relationships. Maybe you should try it one day huh?

@ablutiions

I'm with you. My DH grew one. I told him that it was fine but I wouldn't kiss him or consent to oral sex whilst he had it.

He shaved it off after a few days

Yep, funny how men are happy to shave their beard, when they know they're not going to get a shag until it's gone!

@LittleDandelionClock

If you say so.
That's exactly what controlling people say so typical really.
No matter how many passive aggressive smiley faces you use.
And if that's what your 'grown up' relationship is like then crack on, I wouldn't want to be in that relationship

(If a man having a beard is who he is then that's who he is)

@Lifewith

Yes dear........

I can see you have never been in a grown-up relationship, and you do sound very young, and easily manipulated. And I can see you're getting angry .. So I will leave to it.

Good luck in any relationship you have. You will need it.

Have a lovely day.

@Lifewith

Yes dear........

I can see you have never been in a grown-up relationship, and you do sound very young, and easily manipulated. And I can see you're getting angry .. So I will leave you to it.

Good luck in any relationship you have. You will need it.

Have a lovely day.

YANBU.

My husband knows if he grows a beard then it means no kissing.

[quote LittleDandelionClock]@Lifewith

Yes dear........

I can see you have never been in a grown-up relationship, and you do sound very young, and easily manipulated. And I can see you're getting angry .. So I will leave to it.

Good luck in any relationship you have. You will need it.

Have a lovely day. [/quote]
Oh dear, now you're sounding ridiculous

*Then I would shave my legs.

Controlling my arse. It's called give and take. When you're in a marriage/partnership, you do actually do things sometimes, that you don't necessarily want to do, and sometimes to please your partner.

That's what happens in grown up relationships. Maybe you should try it one day huh?*

This is very patronising in response to something that is actually pretty widely believed to be poor form - ie expecting women to shave their natural body hair for men.

There is a very loud echo chamber on this thread of people with the same irrational aversion, who are all equally convinced that any manner of behaviour towards your partner is totally justified because beseds ARE revolting. The reality is that assuming the hair is kept clean, we are talking about natural body hair, and the only reason anyone dislikes that is antiquated social norms. It isn't actually rational or justified at all, and it doesn't come from a positive place.

@DontWantTheRivalry

YANBU.

My husband knows if he grows a beard then it means no kissing.

Exactly this. As I, and many others have said, when a man knows he isn't going to get a shag, a BJ, or even a kiss, he soon gets rid of his beard.

If he keeps it, well......... Let's just say he's probably not that into you....

Grow your own beard so he understands what it's like to kiss someone with a beard?

Alternatively...fake beard?

I've never seen my husband without a beard. You get used to it.

It's gone!!

Get him some beard oil, it also gets softer as it grows more, you might be in the annoying stage where it’s still a bit spikey

@MintyGreenDream

When my friends ex husband grew a horrible beard she made him put a paper bag over is head when they had sex 🤣

Did she, aye?

My partner is sexy as hell with a beard. Particularly when he grows it out. I’m having lewd thoughts just thinking about it!

YANBU you're allowed to not like it.

It wasn't there when you got together

It is a completely optional choice he's made

Not an accident

In summary, he's moved the goalposts and HIBU!!!