to be upset about my neighbour's comments about my parenting?

[Autumn567]

I have a 15 month old and my neighbours love him. They have 3 adult children, but no grandchildren yet.
I am starting to get more and more irritated with them as they always take digs at me when they see me with him.

Here are some of examples of what they say:

• "Oh, he's thin. You don't feed him? "( which is bs, we feed him loads. Noone else has ever voiced concern about his weight and I even asked the childminder what she thinks. She thinks he is just thin and long like his daddy and is completely normal)

• "You don't speak to him. That's why he's so quiet. We know a 15 month old who speaks all the time" (again, another falsehood. I speak with him all the time and my son babbles a lot)

-"You don't look after him" (when he has a cold)

• "We hear him crying every evening now" (when he was teething)

"How could you cope being without your child? A mother always wants to be with her child" (when my husband took him away on the weekend once)

I'm getting so angry and irritated with them now. My husband just says I should ignore what they say and not take it serious. They never ever take digs at him though.

AIBU to feel this way?

I would say something - please don’t comment on my parenting, it’s rude and totally inappropriate.

I wouldn't say anything but I would just rush by 'hi neighbours, sorry just on the way out etc' stop stopping to chat.

Well how do you respond to this?
It is really rude. If I were you I wouldn't spend anytime in thier presence and if they happened to say anything I would tell them how rude they were being.

I echo what others have said - just say hi to be polite, but don't give them an opportunity to have a conversation with you. Always suddenly need to be somewhere when they try to start a conversation and they will get the message.

Not unreasonable at all. They have no right to comment on your parenting.

Perhaps if your DH were on the receiving end of these comments he'd feel differently.

YANBU. Just don't engage. I don't feel the need to be polite to people who are rude to me.

I would ask firmly and politely; ‘do you think I don’t look after him?’ and look them dead in the eye. ‘Do you think I don’t feed him?’ etc. It really pushes this back on them, without you needing to do much at all. Being a parent will make you incredibly assertive!

They might love ds but they definitely don't love you do they? Never known such rudeness and I'd have stopped speaking to them a long time ago if I were you.

Stop talking to them at all, is what I would suggest.
They sound horribly unboudaried.

Why do people not just tell people to shut up when they come out of this shit?

They're going to be the source of many PIL threads in future years . They sound awful. I'd be avoiding them before I came back with some retort (about over reaching with their in laws probably)

They sound bizarre.

I must be around their age and can't imagine having this level of interest in the neighbour's kids and their doings.

Jus don't stop.

Bit weird. How did they escape from 1957?

I think there are some people who just make stupid comments about stuff like this without thinking of the impact. They can't think of anything more interesting or original to say, so they come out with this rubbish. Its like the nonsense that gets said to pregnant women. Unsolicited 'advice' is crap!

Tell them their comments are rude, hurtful and then steer we’ll clear.

@3scape

They're going to be the source of many PIL threads in future years . They sound awful. I'd be avoiding them before I came back with some retort (about over reaching with their in laws probably)

Their daughter in law has fallen out with them and they weren't invited to their son's wedding. They always said to us that she was "not a good woman", but now I'm not so sure. Apparently their son asked them to apologise to his wife once, but they refused.

Out of interest, are they from a different culture? Because all these sound like comments from my family of a different culture and I've always taken it as a sort of dry sense of humour.

They sound like absolute wankers, OP. I'd be inclined to say: "Given what I've heard about your relationship with your son and daughter-in-law, if I were you I'd be inclined to examine my own parenting before judging mine".

Then reverse over their garden gnomes and never speak to them again.

What do you say back to them?

If I were you I definitely wouldn’t justify yourself - you don’t need to inform them how much you feed him etc or get into discussions about any of it.

Either laugh it off/ignore, or if you want to challenge it politely, I enjoy saying something like “oh that’s an odd thing to say”. Means you’ve dismissed it and batted it back to them.

I'd tell them straight out that if they have concerns about my ability to care for my child then they are free to make a report. Other than that, they need to mind their own business. I'd also stop being friendly with them, they sound nuts

Why don’t you tell them to shut up? Tell them they’re talking nonsense and have no idea what they’re on about. I would refuse to speak to them at all. They sound malicious, frankly.

Fuck, they're rude and inappropriate. Tell them!

'Stop commenting on my parenting. It's none of your business.'

Get some headphones. Wear them every chance there may be of seeing them. Smile and walk in /out. Do not engage again.

You just need to stop engaging with them.

No need to be rude to them or frosty or dramatic. Just wave at them and don't stop to chat.

I think you need to say that they are being rude and need to stop commenting. Bizarrely rude!