to be upset about my neighbour's comments about my parenting?

[Autumn567]

I have a 15 month old and my neighbours love him. They have 3 adult children, but no grandchildren yet.
I am starting to get more and more irritated with them as they always take digs at me when they see me with him.

Here are some of examples of what they say:

• "Oh, he's thin. You don't feed him? "( which is bs, we feed him loads. Noone else has ever voiced concern about his weight and I even asked the childminder what she thinks. She thinks he is just thin and long like his daddy and is completely normal)

• "You don't speak to him. That's why he's so quiet. We know a 15 month old who speaks all the time" (again, another falsehood. I speak with him all the time and my son babbles a lot)

-"You don't look after him" (when he has a cold)

• "We hear him crying every evening now" (when he was teething)

"How could you cope being without your child? A mother always wants to be with her child" (when my husband took him away on the weekend once)

I'm getting so angry and irritated with them now. My husband just says I should ignore what they say and not take it serious. They never ever take digs at him though.

AIBU to feel this way?

“No matter how well intentioned your comments regarding my parenting I just block them out, would save us a lot of time if you just stopped making them”

Or

“I am bringing my children up to ignore busybodies, forgive me while I lead by example”

"...What did you just say?" Make them repeat it. "What on earth makes you think that's an appropriate thing to say? What a strange thing to say. How odd." Full eye contact. Let them stutter over it and then don't bother with them again. "Nope, not now we're busy" every time. Stand up for yourself or you enable them to continue with this bullshit.

Some responsesfor you:

he's thin. You don't feed him? laugh and say, are you joking? He never stops eating.

you don't speak to him. That's why he's so quiet. laugh and say are you joking, he never stops talking when he's with people he's comfortable with.

You don't look after him (when he has a cold) what a strange thing to say, of course I do.

We hear him crying every evening now I know, teething is so tough on babies.

How could you cope being without your child? luckily he's equally happy with his other parent.

Or just ignore them, nosey buggers.

Just wave and engage on being a neighbour but don’t show them your son

so basically they werent invited to their sons wedding , upset their daughter in law , refused to aplogise to her , its pretty clear they are both of them unbearable and now just with their unwanted nosey comments your seeing why the former things have happened , if their son has a child its doubtful they see much of it , which is why they are soo fond of yours

I would say " aah, no wonder your kids don't have children of their own. What with you being so judgemental and rude about other people's parenting" stare and smile, and wait for their reply

Could you say, "oh for goodness sakes!" in a lightly exasperated tone every time they say these things. Just say that and carry on with what you are doing, add an eye roll. They can't be that serious or they would call social services so this might help them realise how ridiculous they are being.

Yabu to give a shot. Don't engage, don't reply, if you're feeling confident enough, just stare them out or coldly say "do you really think I don't feed/love/talk to him?!"

When do you see these neighbours? Just as you are both leaving your respective houses and happen to bump into each other or do you end up going over there for a coffee? If the latter, just make your excuses and gradually drop them. Or tell them you no longer wish to socialise due to their constant negative, insulting comments, which are making you feel like a bad parent. People like them deserve to be told the truth tbh, but depends what you're comfortable with.
If just bumping into each other, anything they say can be met with a curt "My son is absolutely fine, thank you. Have a nice day!" Keep your interactions short, if they try to go on you just say "Sorry, got to go" and that's it.

I'd be tempted to respond with a question. Tell me again interfering idiot why were you not invited to your own sons wedding - do they not like you?

The important thing to do here is to never enter into a conversation

With my neighbour's they simply get a Hello and I continue walking. Don't ever stop walking or to talk, just carry on and if they start talking just walk off

You must be stopping to talk for them to say this much to you

yup, nod smile walk away, rinse and repeat.

They sound awful but why are they seeing you so much? Just wave and carry on.

@Briony123

Could you say, "oh for goodness sakes!" in a lightly exasperated tone every time they say these things. Just say that and carry on with what you are doing, add an eye roll. They can't be that serious or they would call social services so this might help them realise how ridiculous they are being.

@Briony123 I rather like this suggestion

They sound like they deserve a few rude comments slung back at them.

Agree with what others have said - I would just say hi and keep walking. If they try and engage in conversation just say sorry, you're in a rush and bolt indoors.

@HoldmecloseTonyDanza

Some responsesfor you:

he's thin. You don't feed him? laugh and say, are you joking? He never stops eating.

you don't speak to him. That's why he's so quiet. laugh and say are you joking, he never stops talking when he's with people he's comfortable with.

You don't look after him (when he has a cold) what a strange thing to say, of course I do.

We hear him crying every evening now I know, teething is so tough on babies.

How could you cope being without your child? luckily he's equally happy with his other parent.

Or just ignore them, nosey buggers.

As above.

Some of the replies on here are so dramatic. These people are not important to you, at worst they are busy bodies at best they are socialy enept. Just say Hi and carry on your day.

Tell them to keep their opinions to themselves and bugger off. Don't even acknowledge them after that.

The Mumsnet favourite, ‘What an odd thing to say. Did you mean to be so rude?’

I think I'd have to say something along the lines of "Your comments are very hurtful and misguided. My child is well loved and looked after. Please don't comment on my parenting again".

As someone on a previous thread said: Never take criticism from someone you wouldn’t value advice from.

Fuck off is a complete sentence.

Their daughter in law has fallen out with them and they weren't invited to their son's wedding.

I wonder why!

Id avoid them wherever possible. And if you do bump into them, don't engage, as it will feed the weird dynamic they have around children & parenting.

I'd just say "wow, what a rude thing to say" every single time. Repeat the exact words. Make your tone sound robotic. Probably just for your own amusement at this point