Dating when female and tallish is hard

[AprilKepner1987]

I'm 5ft9. Not super tall but not short either. I don't ask men about their height before I go on a date with them because I don't really care, but weirdly I've developed my own insecurities around being fairly tall. I always find it awkward going on a date with a guy even slightly smaller than me, not because I give a shit (really, I don't) but because I feel like they might not be attracted to ME. I feel like men tend to like shorter women and I'm suddenly all insecure about it. AIBU? I should just embrace my height. Essentially, I have a date on weds with a guy I've never met before and I KNOW he's shorter than me and I feel unattractive and nervous about it. Help!!!

I’m also 5ft 9in and don’t feel this is particularly tall for a female.

I’m 6ft and it has never caused me a problem, I love being tall, happily wear heels. My DH is 6ft 1, so I tower over him in heels, he seems to like it, I don’t even think about it.
We all have different features, attractive to different people, if someone doesn’t like your height then you are just not compatible, lots more men out there.

@Iamacatslave

I’m also 5ft 9in and don’t feel this is particularly tall for a female.

I’m 5ft 2 and I think it is!

Don’t be nervous! The question you should be asking yourself is whether you’re attracted to him, and my guess is that if his ego is so fragile it’s threatened by your height, then you’re not exactly going to be bowled over …

My mum was 6’1” and 4 inches taller than my dad, who adored her and was always proud to walk into a room with her on his arm. My sister is 6 ft & her DH is 2 inches shorter and not remotely bothered. I’m 5’10” and the only one with a partner who’s taller than me (unless I’m in heels!), & he’s always been attracted to tall women.

IME a man who is unbothered by a woman’s height is more likely to be secure in his masculinity. Walk tall and own it! There are plenty of men who like a statuesque woman, so I really wouldn’t bother with the ones who can’t cope with it.

Can I ask other tall women - are you very slim?
I'm 5'9" and a size 14 and quite broad/busty
I often feel 'large'
Maybe it'd be different if I was slim and tall?

I'm going to paraphrase a msg I sent today re this pre warning someone on my body type...

You know the way some girls are just petite... Like wee tiny pretty petite princesses? Well I'm not (as you know) but I'm a big man handed hands 🖐️ size 9.5 feet, shoulders like American footballer, thighs a rugby player would be proud of...

This was the gist of the message about being tall/big boned, non petite. I'm 5'9, size 14 so not overly huge but just have it in my head that men like petite dainty little things

Side note his response was "Horse shit, plus I've seen that pic of you with no ass, no boobs, nothing, you looked liked a lollypop head figure. You are totally gorgeous & in proportion & I wouldn't change you for the world - height, weight or anything ( ..... tho ok, ya can't change the canoe feet thing...!)

I get ya OP... but maybe it doesn't matter as much as we think

5'10 here 👋 when I was OLD I put my height in my bio which seemed to filter out the guys who gave a shit. I love my height and would only settle for a man who loved it too, rather than tolerated it. My dp is 6'1 and he's the perfect height for kissing, I don't know how couples with bigger height differences manage without stretching/stooping! I even got a tattoo of a giraffe to remind me to stand tall, always ❤️

Being tall is ace, until I have to fold myself into teensy courtesy cars or find gloves that fit. 😄

My partner is smaller than me (we're both women) and I thought it would make me feel elephantine at first, but it's no issue. When you find your person, everything just works out.

Can I ask other tall woman, if you can remember how tall you were when you were age 11 or 12 ?

@WaltzingBetty I'm a 12 but feel happiest at a 10.I know what you mean I feel taller when I'm heavier somehow

I’m 6ft1 and have been plagued with insecurity about my height… as a PP said, part of it is Hollywood lore I think.

I’ve never felt feminine and have been very self conscious for a long time.

I’ve always 5hought I had a good figure,,, 32H boobs, 34 inch hips… just tall.

DH is 1.5 inches shorter than me and I stoop when I’m with him. As I age it’s getting better but in my 20s on the daring scene it was painful. It only ever seemed to attract the dickhead comments, never positive attention from blokes! Probably tied in with my lack of self confidence.

@Iheartbaby

Can I ask other tall woman, if you can remember how tall you were when you were age 11 or 12 ?

I was 5ft 11 when I started high school at 12. That was unusual though, I was way taller than anybody else in my year.

I'm 6'3 and never had any issues. You're in your own head on this.

@WaltzingBetty

Can I ask other tall women - are you very slim? I'm 5'9" and a size 14 and quite broad/busty I often feel 'large' Maybe it'd be different if I was slim and tall?

I’m size 10, but I have been bigger post pregnancy, didn’t make a difference to the fact I like being tall.

@TellMeItsPossible - these are the most fantastic gloves I've come across for big hands, long fingers, and no cold wrists. They are amazing!
www.southcombe.com/audrey-wool-lined-ruched-leather-gloves?gclid=CjwKCAiAnO2MBhApEiwA8q0HYUU8GJm_J-fO6z7tx57PyH8bUfIItr2hVEhuVrOB8wJuXWXSBz5tWBoCrW0QAvD_BwE#color=83

@Iheartbaby at 11 or 12 I was probably 5'3 / 5'4 - grew until I was just turning 16

@Iheartbaby

Can I ask other tall woman, if you can remember how tall you were when you were age 11 or 12 ?

I was around 5 ft 7 or 8 then, I remember as all the teachers made a big deal about me being taller than them.

5'10/5'11 maybe? 6'1 by the time is was 14, topped out at 6'3.

[quote MintyGreenDream]@WaltzingBetty I'm a 12 but feel happiest at a 10.I know what you mean I feel taller when I'm heavier somehow[/quote]
That’s funny, I feel taller slimmer, I think when slimmer the long legs are more noticeable. Could be in my head.

I feel more awkward when I'm bigger 😕

I feel for you. I'm only 5'6 and a half inches but most men ( and women for that matter) call me tall.

You cant change it so The only thing to do is own it. Be proud of your height.

You’re not that tall.

@MasterBeth - helpful

I'm 5ft 10, though have shrunk just a bit with age. Personally, IDGAF. I'm attracted to men of varying heights... whether or not they're a knob/creep/nutter is more of a concern to me.

I’m 5ft11 and a bit, and stand by the fact that I absolutely, categorically would not date someone shorter than me, but then that’s because my ‘thing’ is extremely tall men - my DH is comparably short at 6ft4, but I have dated all the way up to 6ft9… It’s absolutely not to say that anyone else shouldn’t, or couldn’t however - just as though I wouldn’t judge you if you liked men who were musical, or serious, or redheads, or in a similar profession to you. Everyone is entitled to be attracted to whoever they like.

FWIW for the PP who asked, I am a 10-12 but feel my best 10kg or lighter at the smaller end of a 10 - my skeleton literally does not allow me to be a smaller clothes size, such is the breadth of my shoulders etc! But yes, FWIW, I feel MUCH more awkward and less attractive when I am bigger, just bigger all round really, which when I’m already pretty bloody big in one dimension doesn’t feel great to me.

I am 5ft 8 and love it. My Dh is 3 inches smaller than me. It used to bother me a little, but not any more. He has always had taller gfs (before me) and says he was always more attracted to tall women. I have never worn heels and have always hated them. A lot of small men have big personalities.