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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think parents just buy the advent calendars, not grandparents.

70 replies

Calee03 · 22/11/2021 17:24

Not an asshole, just a little annoyed. Every year I buy dc a advent calendar - usually only chocolate type.

Last year my mum them 4 advent calendars each - bought when reduced after the first and brought them over. Then mil bought them the one. They are brought over here and last year ended up with 6 each - fml. I couldn't hide them away as the kids knew about them. So 6 advent calendar doors each to open each day 😞

Then Ds had one from his dad - which isn't really an issue as it was kept there and he just caught up at the weekend 😅 I can't really tell his dad not to buy...

I spoke to my mum a while ahi and said please don't buy them so many reduced advent calendars. If she feels the need to get them something, maybe an alternative like a chocolate bar as a one off or a Christmas decoration, or a keepsake advent calendar or something. Not 4 bleddy chocolate advent calendars.

She's just told me she's bought them one each 'so far'.

Omfg! I've told her to stop and we didn't even expect one off her.

We've told mil not too either. Ds insisted on opening every single one every morning last year and wouldn't save it for later.

Aibu to think having multiple chocolate advent calendars each is bleddy ridiculous.?

I don't like to be rude but aibu to think that grandparents would assume that parents would buy them a advent calendar so they shouldn't bother at all?

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 22/11/2021 17:26

I think one is fine but four advent calendars per child is a bit daft really. Surely the whole point of an advent calendar is that you just get a little bit.

Sirzy · 22/11/2021 17:27

Meh I really couldn’t get wound up by this. Ok 4 is a bit over the top but its not really worth the battle surely?

shouldistop · 22/11/2021 17:28

I just assume my MIL will buy it as she's never given me the opportunity before 🤣 so I don't bother as I don't want more than one in the house.

4 each is ridiculous but I wouldn't have let my children eat them all. I'd have asked them to donate them to a food bank. A bit of whinging never hurt a child.

MizzFizz · 22/11/2021 17:28

You're the parent... Just because they know they have four advent calendars, doesn't mean they get them all now. I would definitely be saying no and "let's donate some to the food bank" or something.

But yeah what was she thinking - 4 each?!

PaniniHead · 22/11/2021 17:28

I have had a similar situation. I allowed my daughter two and donated the rest to my local food bank. Teaches my daughter a lesson in giving to those less fortunate

IncompleteSenten · 22/11/2021 17:29

Open them up at the end, slide out the plastic and tip the chocolates into a bowl. Eat happily

Leave the kids one calendar each.

Siepie · 22/11/2021 17:30

Both sets of grandparents bought me an advent calendar every year as a child (one bought chocolate, one bought a picture one). They lived far away, so I absolutely loved getting them in the post! I'm glad my grandparents didn't decide they "shouldn't bother" just because my mum also got me one.

Of course a child doesn't need 6 advent calendars - I'd definitely ask her not to buy them so many! Now that you've asked, I think your DM is wrong to not respect your wishes. But I don't thing the GP were doing anything wrong buying them in the first place.

The chocolates are only little. I don't think 1 from the grandparents and 1 from you would do any harm. If you'd rather they have a picture or keepsake calendar, you could buy that.

SophieHatterPendragon · 22/11/2021 17:30

I don’t mine my mum buying them one each but 4 would be too much!

Works quite well in our house as I know my mum will want to get them a chocolate one so I either get them a book or toy one (we had peppa pig for the toddlers to share last year and a Harry Potter one for DS1) or I do a cloth one and fill it with fun cute things or chocolate coins

Nomoreusernames1244 · 22/11/2021 17:30

I don't like to be rude but aibu to think that grandparents would assume that parents would buy them a advent calendar so they shouldn't bother at all?

Does it really matter who buys it? If my mum or mil sees one they think they’ll like and buy it, then I don’t bother.

Your issue is communication. You need to learn to say “no thanks, they’ve already got one”.

My mil was a pain with this as well- if she saw them on offer, like 3 for 2, she’d buy them 3 each!

We used to donate our spares. Food banks, the food bins at tesco, they’d sometimes take them to their sports club if they did group advent calendars, give to friends, and keep their favourite.

I’d sometimes try and swing GP towards non chocolate too, contribute toward lego or harry potter ones. Worked with my mum but mil likes giving them chocolate 🙄

HelloBunny · 22/11/2021 17:32

Have they become a bit like Easter Eggs? I’ve never given or received an Advent Calendar in my whole life, and I’m 45. Never really a thing, where I live. But I’m seeing them in all the shop nowadays!

Oneborneverydecade · 22/11/2021 17:34

Bleddy ridiculous!

Original poster
Calee03 · 22/11/2021 17:34

Thanks all. They are prone to just giving my kids stuff without asking me first, so at that point they've seen it and they want it.. both have sen too which doesn't help. Ds doesn't have any limits with food. I have to be really strict!

Sadly my mums isn't the easiest to talk to. She seems to think she makes the rules!

It's not just advent calendars either. It's just over feeding them in general. I know that's what 'grandparents do' right? But they take it to a extreme and let them eat and eat until they are ready to burst!

OP posts:
BurbageBrook · 22/11/2021 17:34

I think you have a pretty easy life if this even registers as a problem.

TreeLawney · 22/11/2021 17:35

Well your mum buying each child multiple calendars is a bit much but I don’t think advent calendars are a one & done deal.

I used to get around 5 or 6 each year as a child (had 3 sets of grandparents, plus from parents & a couple of generous uncles). It was absolutely brilliant and I still remember them fondly.

Original poster
Calee03 · 22/11/2021 17:35

@BurbageBrook

I think you have a pretty easy life if this even registers as a problem.
My life is far from easy. My son is autistic and eats and eats if you allow him too. We really have to be strict. 6 advent calendars is ridiculous!
OP posts:
girlmom21 · 22/11/2021 17:36

I really don't see the issue, apart from the word 'bleddy'. That's the only ridiculous thing here.

Original poster
Calee03 · 22/11/2021 17:36

@IncompleteSenten

Open them up at the end, slide out the plastic and tip the chocolates into a bowl. Eat happily

Leave the kids one calendar each.

Good idea 😅
OP posts:
LoveGrooveDanceParty · 22/11/2021 17:37

There is no assumption that this is something parents should do.

Of course grandparents like to do things like this.

If you know they’re going to buy them, then why are you insisting on buying them also? I’d definitely be telling them not to buy four, though.

And you’re U for saying ‘bleddy’.

Original poster
Calee03 · 22/11/2021 17:37

@girlmom21

I really don't see the issue, apart from the word 'bleddy'. That's the only ridiculous thing here.
Cornish term!
OP posts:
Wafflesnsniffles · 22/11/2021 17:38

So much cardboard and plastic for a little bit of chocolate

One is plenty surely. Actually one is one more than my 17 and 20yo have ever had

Id probably open them all up and have a chocolate feast or use them to decorate a chocolate cake or something

Maybe donate them to the local food bank?

Original poster
Calee03 · 22/11/2021 17:38

@LoveGrooveDanceParty

There is no assumption that this is something parents should do.

Of course grandparents like to do things like this.

If you know they’re going to buy them, then why are you insisting on buying them also? I’d definitely be telling them not to buy four, though.

And you’re U for saying ‘bleddy’.

Because last year the grandparents did not drop off advent calendars until the 4-5th of December! So I bought them one for the 1st!
OP posts:
Costumeidea · 22/11/2021 17:38

@girlmom21

I really don't see the issue, apart from the word 'bleddy'. That's the only ridiculous thing here.
I get an image of Victor Meldrew in my head…
gogohm · 22/11/2021 17:38

One is ok, 4 from one person is ridiculous

cakewench · 22/11/2021 17:39

Reminds me of the year we practically had a village of gingerbread houses because we'd bought our own, then various grandparents sent more to us. There was a train as well. Grin We were eating them til Easter.

Then the following year we didn't buy any because we expected they would again, but then no one did because they remembered our comments on it. First time we'd ever been listened to!

Now we just buy them and my mum sends one as well. Best to just go along for the ride really, it's not the end of the world and it's Christmas after all.

(I might feel differently if it were 4x chocolate advent calendars each! But tbh we do have a group advent, individual ones and often a Lego one as well, so I might not be the best judge. In my defence, we make a bigger deal of advent than actual Christmas day!)

ParkheadParadise · 22/11/2021 17:39

Dd gets one from us, one from inlaws and several from my siblings.
I help out by eating all the extras.

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