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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think parents just buy the advent calendars, not grandparents.

70 replies

Calee03 · 22/11/2021 17:24

Not an asshole, just a little annoyed. Every year I buy dc a advent calendar - usually only chocolate type.

Last year my mum them 4 advent calendars each - bought when reduced after the first and brought them over. Then mil bought them the one. They are brought over here and last year ended up with 6 each - fml. I couldn't hide them away as the kids knew about them. So 6 advent calendar doors each to open each day 😞

Then Ds had one from his dad - which isn't really an issue as it was kept there and he just caught up at the weekend 😅 I can't really tell his dad not to buy...

I spoke to my mum a while ahi and said please don't buy them so many reduced advent calendars. If she feels the need to get them something, maybe an alternative like a chocolate bar as a one off or a Christmas decoration, or a keepsake advent calendar or something. Not 4 bleddy chocolate advent calendars.

She's just told me she's bought them one each 'so far'.

Omfg! I've told her to stop and we didn't even expect one off her.

We've told mil not too either. Ds insisted on opening every single one every morning last year and wouldn't save it for later.

Aibu to think having multiple chocolate advent calendars each is bleddy ridiculous.?

I don't like to be rude but aibu to think that grandparents would assume that parents would buy them a advent calendar so they shouldn't bother at all?

OP posts:

Primrosefields · 22/11/2021 18:18

Ours just have a chocolate one from us and a picture nativity one off my parents.

Jibberjabberhutt · 22/11/2021 18:19

@knittingaddict

Meh. We've bought the grandchildren an amazing advent calender. We found it in a Scandinavian shop while on holiday and they will share it, alternating days. We will keep in it here as we are doing a lot of child care leading up to Christmas. They will have others at home. Is that really so terrible?

Multiple ones would be annoying though.

That’s not really the same at all. A lovely, single thoughtful skandi one that’s kept at your house is much nicer than four gluttonous chocolate ones, grabbed off the shelf at the eleventh hour as they were reduced.

Justajot · 22/11/2021 18:26

We've managed to get down to one chocolate one from us. My PIL have tried hard to get them more chocolate advent calendars and used to buy them masses of sweets. The thing that eventually stopped them was my mum having a "chat" with MIL about my DCs' teeth. I can only assume that my protests weren't enough, but being judged by my mum for putting my DC at risk of tooth decay was too much.

Whingasaurus · 22/11/2021 18:28

Talk to your dc about the food bank and ask them to donate the excess

miltonj · 22/11/2021 18:50

Yeah I think that should be left to the parents.

Maybe suggest a selection box instead?

Mulhollandmagoo · 22/11/2021 19:19

Who really goes into a shop and sees reduced advent calendars.... And buys each child four??? One fair enough but four seems crackers to me

Nodancingshoes · 22/11/2021 19:24

My nan always buys me and my sister and all of our kids an advent calender each! I usually buy them one each too cos hers are never Cadburys....😉 5 each s a little over the top though - I would possible give a couple away to the food bank or similar

Silverswirl · 22/11/2021 19:28

I would give them one from each set of grandparents. When parents have gone The rest I would hide if the kids are little or if they were old enough to understand I would say ‘we only need 1 so the rest we will save’
Then when having a film night I would empty all the doors out into a bowl and have as a snack.

flimflammingo · 22/11/2021 20:25

Ours always came from our grandparents, back in the 70s. It was a special thing.

monotonousmum · 22/11/2021 20:31

I don't know why I bother buying mine one, MIL always buys them (and one for me - but not my husband )
This year she bought the exact one I'd bought. She generally keeps them at hers, but this year she dropped the off.
It does wind me up a bit. But I let it go, she means well.

flimflammingo · 22/11/2021 20:31

Only one each though!

Winterrain7 · 22/11/2021 20:57

Yes I completely understand you regarding gp giving too much! When my dc go to my parents they can literally get whatever they want without asking which has resulted in dc being sick when they have stayed over. I've had conversations about this and it stops for a while then starts again. Dp parents however expect the dc to ask if they wnat something and only have in moderation. Then with presents my parents go way over the top and they end up with nore than they need, no space to put them and toys that don't get played with. Calenders are no exception either I don't mind both gp buying 1 each but my parents will buy 2 each, dp parents 1 each then my grandparents buy them 1 each too. I did exactly what pp said and opened some and ate them myself and the rest I gave to neighbours children. Like you I don't want to be rude about it and at first thought about it as its what gp do and they now their children are all grown they kind of miss giving if that makes sense but it does get irritating. I don't mind certain things but going overboard is so annoying and there has been many times I've actually snapped and get sick of repeating myself. I used to love going my gp as a child and being spoilt but not this far. They are on another level. So yes I completely understand where your coming from.

BettyOBarley · 22/11/2021 21:16

My mum always buys ours (for us and the kids!!) so I don't buy any.
I keep thinking about getting the kids a non-chocolate one from us like Lego etc but they are a waste of money.
4 each is daft though and I think the food bank idea is great.

ShortColdandGrey · 22/11/2021 21:26

My DD ended up with 3 last year. The wooden train one she has had since she was a baby. My DB bought her a cheese one, and when DD went to lidl for cookies they came back with a book one. She had the cheese one for her breakfast. The chocolate one after nursery, and the book one at bedtime. She loved every single one

OldSoho · 22/11/2021 22:02

YANBU

FIL has got my DC a chocolate advent each. I do them a refillable one each year that I take joy in finding random surprises for, as well as days where it's "just" a sweet or two. We have a non-edible family calendar that we've had for many years.

That feels a lot to me, but it's manageable! My DM may also get them one (I hope not, but wouldn't be the end of the world), but I would never expect or want 4 from her, especially partway into December!

ASatisfyingThump · 22/11/2021 22:29

Like Betty, we don't bother because ILs always buy them. The kids get two, a chocolate and a lego/toy one, and DH and I get a chocolate one each - DH eats his almost immediately, and mine gets forgotten about until around the 20th, when I eat the lot, because we're adults and don't really see the point in a tiny piece of chocolate every day we do leave them on display so MIL doesn't realise we aren't doing them properly. But in your situation I think all you can do is try to intercept them before they reach the kids, and donate/eat/decorate cakes/whatever. IME they won't stop because they think they're doing a nice thing.

Hankunamatata · 22/11/2021 22:34

My parents always buy dc calendars as they used to buy me and dh when we got married lol. Mil has ones around her house. When we have been given extra like your mum - we ripped them apart and kept the chocs in a box

Marvellousmadness · 22/11/2021 22:57

Just tell them no to buy any!
And if they do buy them regardless you'll give them away /trash them

Be clear.
And its ludicrous that you made your kids open 6 doors every day because "they had seen how many calendars " there were. Set some boundaries op!!!

Ozanj · 22/11/2021 23:09

I would love it if someone thought of my ds enough to get him an extra one but unfortunately nobody ever does. If you want to reduce chocolate then make yours a book or toy calender?

Luredbyapomegranate · 22/11/2021 23:10

Yes, I would just take them to the food bank. Lots of kids would love them.

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