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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I shouldn’t have to tell people in work what I am doing at a weekend

53 replies

Laughingstock91 · 22/11/2021 14:10

Went to an Xmas market in london at the weekend - wore a mask the whole time, have taken LFTs every day before and since and was as careful as I could be- used hand sanitiser etc.

Someone in work had a go at me this morning and said I was putting them at risk by going - surely I shouldn’t have to answer to anyone for my weekend activities esp as I am being as careful as possible. It’s made me feel like some really shit, irresponsible colleague when actually I don’t think I have done anything wrong.

Aibu? I feel really upset

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 22/11/2021 14:13

You aren’t being unreasonable at all. That person sounds like they are being very unfair. Lots of people are going to markets and I would doubt a huge chunk are taking any precautions. Try not to let them get to you, we can only manage our own behaviour and actions and can’t control how others respond.

Aposterhasnoname · 22/11/2021 14:13

No you’ve not done anything wrong, and your colleague sound's unhinged.

JumperandJacket · 22/11/2021 14:13

Feels like there are two issues here-

  • whether you have to tell people what you've been up to. You don't. Just say, "we just had a quiet one- how about you?" or whatever if you don't want to discuss it.
  • whether your colleague is reasonable to complain about you going to a Christmas market. Obviously not. Are they all staying indoors the whole time and not seeing anybody else? Your colleague sounds like an arsehole.
pastypirate · 22/11/2021 14:14

@JumperandJacket

Feels like there are two issues here-
  • whether you have to tell people what you've been up to. You don't. Just say, "we just had a quiet one- how about you?" or whatever if you don't want to discuss it.
  • whether your colleague is reasonable to complain about you going to a Christmas market. Obviously not. Are they all staying indoors the whole time and not seeing anybody else? Your colleague sounds like an arsehole.
This
Finfintytint · 22/11/2021 14:14

Of course you haven’t done anything wrong. Your colleague sounds over anxious.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 22/11/2021 14:15

Being in a crowd like that is not something I'd choose at the moment, but I've seen what COVID can do and am aware of my own insecurities/anxieties about it.

But you've taken all the recommended precautions before and after. So your colleague has no right to have a go at you.

FlorenceWintle · 22/11/2021 14:16

Your colleague sounds a bit crazy. They do know that most people are living normally now?

PicaK · 22/11/2021 14:16

Colleague is one in the wrong.
But why on earth is she so worried that she's behaved so unreasonably? What's going on in her life?

ElftonWednesday · 22/11/2021 14:18

I'd have asked her if she was quite well.

Original poster
Laughingstock91 · 22/11/2021 14:18

It just made me feel really shit- she was so disapproving - like I am deliberately being a super spreader or something!

OP posts:
Original poster
Laughingstock91 · 22/11/2021 14:20

It was busy in london but I was as careful as I could have been as I obviously don’t want covid either. Other people in our office have actually had it from a local pub so it’s literally everywhere

OP posts:
BlackberrySky · 22/11/2021 14:23

She is bonkers. Every time she sets foot outside the house she comes into contact with people she knows nothing about. People can do whatever they want within the rules. She doesn't have to approve. Did you ask her what she's been doing in her spare time? I would have!

FawnFrenchieMum · 22/11/2021 14:24

It would be different if you were breaking lock down rules or something (people would have a right to complain about that IMO) but something totally legal in your spare time , no right to comment on at all.

If they don't like the risk they need to discuss their anxieties with their line manager to make changes to their working environment or something not make you feel bad.

HermioneWeasley · 22/11/2021 14:24

Her anxiety is not your problem. Tell her to back off and seek help if she’s that worried about other people living their lives

BashfulClam · 22/11/2021 14:30

Don’t tell her anything again. If you are asked what you are up to at the weekend just say ‘hmm no plans I’ll see what happens.’ If they ask afterwards. As above say ‘it was quiet, what about you?’ Turn it round on them.

Subeccoo · 22/11/2021 14:48

Doesn't she realise many people actually live in London? Something about it being the most populated city in the country?

Triffid1 · 22/11/2021 15:02

I have been Covid compliant throughout. I take it very seriously. I continue to wear a mask in shops etc, on the basis that it is recommended, even though it's not mandated.

I have zero time for people who are imposing their own, completely ridiculous rules on others. And if someone at the office had a go at me for doing things that are perfectly okay and in no way against any Covid restrictions I suspect my response would be anything from genuine burst of incredulous laughter to a firm, "I am following all guidelines and it's time for me tondi the rest of us to get back to life."

ColinTheKoala · 22/11/2021 15:08

@Laughingstock91

It was busy in london but I was as careful as I could have been as I obviously don’t want covid either. Other people in our office have actually had it from a local pub so it’s literally everywhere
The infection rates are actually quite low in London. And you were outside.
HelplesslyHoping · 22/11/2021 15:30

I'm with your colleague

kateclarke · 22/11/2021 15:33

You have done nothing wrong.
I work in a covid icu so my colleagues and I are ultra cautious. We would all do what you have done.
You have to have some life, this is not going away any time soon.

MrsClatterbuck · 22/11/2021 15:58

@HelplesslyHoping

I'm with your colleague
Really? What rules has she broken? I'm very cautious myself but she took sensible precautions and we do have to get back some semblance of normal life. We have had nearly two years of this and the toll on people's mental health and well being is going to be huge. Op you did nothing wrong and she had no business having a go at you. She was totally out of order.
XenoBitch · 22/11/2021 16:09

@Laughingstock91

Went to an Xmas market in london at the weekend - wore a mask the whole time, have taken LFTs every day before and since and was as careful as I could be- used hand sanitiser etc.

Someone in work had a go at me this morning and said I was putting them at risk by going - surely I shouldn’t have to answer to anyone for my weekend activities esp as I am being as careful as possible. It’s made me feel like some really shit, irresponsible colleague when actually I don’t think I have done anything wrong.

Aibu? I feel really upset

YANBU, you did absolutely nothing wrong. I hope you had a wonderful time.
BritWifeInUSA · 22/11/2021 16:25

How did she know where you were over the weekend?

But it’s none of her business. If she’s that scared of a virus with s relatively low death rate when most people are now double and tripled vaxxed then she’s got bigger problems. She needs some help for her excessive anxiety.

5128gap · 22/11/2021 16:26

Well in my office today peoples' weekend activities included theatre, a big wedding, Christmas shopping and night clubs. I'd be amazed if anyone wore a mask for any of it (I didn't for my activity and nor did anyone else) and people mention covid anymore. So far from you doing anything wrong, your colleague is fortunate you're so cautious.

AsymQuestion · 22/11/2021 16:27

She's rude and sounds bonkers. Like pp say, limit info drastically with her, be more vague also with any colleagues you can't trust. It's shit, but I hate those repetitive convos anyway. Also if she has any acess to your social media like FB and you use it to post details of weekends, that level of judgement would automatically mean removing her access if it were me.