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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I shouldn’t have to tell people in work what I am doing at a weekend

53 replies

Laughingstock91 · 22/11/2021 14:10

Went to an Xmas market in london at the weekend - wore a mask the whole time, have taken LFTs every day before and since and was as careful as I could be- used hand sanitiser etc.

Someone in work had a go at me this morning and said I was putting them at risk by going - surely I shouldn’t have to answer to anyone for my weekend activities esp as I am being as careful as possible. It’s made me feel like some really shit, irresponsible colleague when actually I don’t think I have done anything wrong.

Aibu? I feel really upset

OP posts:
Overthebow · 22/11/2021 16:31

None of her business. Completely unreasonable of her.

Catfox1 · 22/11/2021 16:32

If your employer seems it safe enough to go into the office daily and mix with others then it is none of their or their employees business what you do at a weekend

Beckert · 22/11/2021 16:34

Colleague doesn't get to choose what you do in your free time. They should probably seek help for their anxieties. You're taking precautions. You're not breaking any laws or policy. That's it. The end.

ShinyHappyPoster · 22/11/2021 16:46

I think YABU to be surprised that different people have different approaches to risks around Covid which is basically why your colleague is upset and why you're upset.
You don't know why they're being cautious. They might be vulnerable. They might have close family members who are vulnerable. The government changing the definition of contacts and making track and trace redundant has increased the risk for lots of people with underlying health conditions
Some posters might like to pretend 'that's it' and 'the end' but for families with vulnerable members that's not the case at all.

Pedalpushers · 22/11/2021 17:00

London currently has the lowest rates of Covid in England...

XenoBitch · 22/11/2021 17:02

@ShinyHappyPoster

I think YABU to be surprised that different people have different approaches to risks around Covid which is basically why your colleague is upset and why you're upset. You don't know why they're being cautious. They might be vulnerable. They might have close family members who are vulnerable. The government changing the definition of contacts and making track and trace redundant has increased the risk for lots of people with underlying health conditions Some posters might like to pretend 'that's it' and 'the end' but for families with vulnerable members that's not the case at all.
It is not up to OP to limit what she does in her free time, so that a colleague can keep their vulnerable family members safe.
PassingByAndThoughtIdDropIn · 22/11/2021 17:20

London has pretty much the lowest Covid rates in the country at the moment, so unless your colleague is having more of a go at anyone who's taken a bus to your local shopping centre or gone to the pub or the cinema they should get a sense of perspective.

To think I shouldn’t have to tell people in work what I am doing at a weekend
TarpaulinEyes · 22/11/2021 17:28

@ShinyHappyPoster

I think YABU to be surprised that different people have different approaches to risks around Covid which is basically why your colleague is upset and why you're upset. You don't know why they're being cautious. They might be vulnerable. They might have close family members who are vulnerable. The government changing the definition of contacts and making track and trace redundant has increased the risk for lots of people with underlying health conditions Some posters might like to pretend 'that's it' and 'the end' but for families with vulnerable members that's not the case at all.
I am classed as having an underlying health condition as I have an autoimmune disease. My first thought on reading the OP was that I fancy going to a Christmas market in London. And I will be doing so as I think it will be fun. Which one was it OP and fuck your colleague who is such a misery guts.
Abraxan · 22/11/2021 17:42

Your colleague is over reacting, even if she or a family member is vulnerable.

You broke no rules and even took additional precautions which you didn't have/need to do.

I'm CV. Covid last year out me in hospital and I will be taking medication for life as a result if it. So yes, I know covid can be serious.

However, I refuse to hide away and I certainly wouldn't expect those around me to do so!

I've been out and about, in restaurants and bars, our shopping, seeing friends, and I've even been abroad and on planes etc. I've followed all rules throughout and do take some additional precautions. I'm fully vaccinated, wear a mask if I feel it's too crowded, etc.

I definitely wouldn't expect my colleagues to curtail their weekend activities on my behalf! I don't even expect Dh and teen Dd to do so, and would be upset if anyone thought they hide to not go about normal life because of me.

Abraxan · 22/11/2021 17:43

@HelplesslyHoping

I'm with your colleague
What guidelines has the op broken?

Why should a colleague have the right to curtail her co-workers weekend activities?

ShinyHappyPoster · 22/11/2021 18:19

It's interesting that the posters full of fuck yous Hmm are arguing points no-one made. And when I say 'interesting' I mean 'tedious'.

episcomama · 22/11/2021 18:20

Are you unvaccinated? Is that why she asked, perhaps?

UnsuitableHat · 22/11/2021 18:22

None of her business; ignore her. Maybe don't tell her about stuff you've been up to again though.

Libertaire · 22/11/2021 18:24

I would be telling that colleague that her anxiety issues are not my problem or my concern.

Offmyfence · 22/11/2021 18:29

@HelplesslyHoping

I'm with your colleague
Why?
Offmyfence · 22/11/2021 18:32

@Libertaire

I would be telling that colleague that her anxiety issues are not my problem or my concern.
This. Bloody cheek!
Ducksareruiningmypatio · 22/11/2021 18:35

This weekend I'm going to a gig, drinks in a pub and a sold out sporting event.
If anyone at work wants to comment on that they can.
I shall be ignoring them though.

Original poster
Laughingstock91 · 22/11/2021 18:49

It was the winter wonderland market - it was great!

And I am double vaxxed for those who asked!

OP posts:
PerfectlyUnsuitable · 22/11/2021 19:05

@HelplesslyHoping

I'm with your colleague
You mean you think it’s ok for the colleague to impose her way of living to everyone else in the office??
Offmyfence · 22/11/2021 19:08

@Laughingstock91

It was the winter wonderland market - it was great!

And I am double vaxxed for those who asked!

Glad you enjoyed it!
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 22/11/2021 19:12

I dont tell anyone what I do at the weekend. If they ask I just say nothing much. The reality is very different. Its none of their business.

TarpaulinEyes · 22/11/2021 19:19

@Laughingstock91

It was the winter wonderland market - it was great!

And I am double vaxxed for those who asked!

Excellent. I've been to that in the past and it's good fun.
Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 22/11/2021 19:49

I think you need to report this to your manager. They are clearly very anxious and need some support but that doesn't justify bullying/controlling behaviour. I think you have been very kind to them not to tell them where to get off, (and I say that as someone who takes it seriously, has had my jabs and booster, wears a mask when asked to etc).

Aquamarine1029 · 22/11/2021 19:52

@HelplesslyHoping

I'm with your colleague
🙄

Get a grip.

ragged · 22/11/2021 20:00

next week tell her you went clubbing with 55 mates who all refuse vaccinations? You snogged 6 perfectly strange men & woke up in someone else's bed -- still not sure whose bed, there were at least 15 people living in the filthy squat where you woke up.

i mean, may as well fight bonkers with bonkers.