To leave 13 YO DD home alone for the evening?

[inigomontoyahwillcox]

DD's dad has just asked to change a visitation weekend which I've agreed to, but this now means that DD will be at home this coming Saturday evening and DH and I have tickets to go see a friend's band about half an hour's drive away. We've got a taxi booked for 12.30am - but I'm in 2 minds as to whether to leave her home alone that late.

She's convinced she'll be "absolutely fiiine", and she has indeed been fine when we've left her a few times for a couple of hours in the evening in recent months. We're only a few doors away from friends of ours who are also coming to the gig, but whose 16-year-old daughter (who DD is friendy with) will be around if she needs someone close by.

She'll most likely spend all evening on TikTok, Netflix and Snapchat.

YABU - she's still too young to be left alone until 1am
YANBU - go for it

Could she go to a friends house overnight?

I was babysitting other people's children until 12am when I was 12 so I definitely think a 13 yo with a neighbor down the road and you on the other end of a mobile phone, can handle it.

I probably wouldn’t. Apart from anything else, I would feel bad about her having to put herself to bed. Just seems a bit young to not have someone around to say goodnight etc.

You know your daughter better than anyone. 13 years olds differ and some are more responsible than others. I think if you have set up someone like an adult that is nearby who can go straight over if needed then it's not a problem.

I was babysitting other people's children until 12am when I was 12 so I definitely think a 13 yo with a neighbor down the road and you on the other end of a mobile phone, can handle it

This!

I work shifts and my 13 year old is left alone on occasion until 1 or 2 am. She doesn’t mind, absolutely prefers being left to me finding a baby sitter.

Doors locked, neighbours next door, i am at the end of the phone, she’s fine.

@DeadoftheMoon

Too young. Too long. Just a baby, really. Needs adult care, not a teenage neighbour.

Don't be so daft.

She's 13, not three!

I too was babysitting till around midnight when I was 13. She’ll be fine with the arrangements you’re putting in place.

April Jones was 5 and outside in the dark, which is totally different to 13 and in your home.

@Winniemarysarah

Leaving a 13yo at night goes against the nspcc guidelines,

Can you point me to those guidelines please

It's fine as long as she's happy with it

I have a 13 year old ds...I wouldn't leave him that late...no way. He'd say he'd be fine but I actually think he might freak out as it got later

It's too late. If you want the 16-yr-old to be responsible for your teen, book her as a babysitter then at least she has to stay available and be in the same house. I wouldn't trust a casual arrangement with a teen on a weekend.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

I’ve said yanbu but I’m a bit confused as to why you agreed to swap when it doesn’t work for you

I wondered this too...

For those of you wondering why I agreed to it, I guess I was feeling guilty as DD can't go to his for the usual 2 nights (she visits him once every 3 weeks for 2 nights) for the next 4 visits as she's doing her DofE volunteering on Sunday mornings for 3 months.

I would try to entice the 16 year old to stay with with pizza and ice cream so that neither of them would have to be alone, but if one or other of the girls weren’t up for that I would probably still go.

My 13 year old DD would be scared to be home alone if it's dark outside. I can't leave her for more than about 30 mins after 5pm this time of year!

I’d try and get the 16 yr old round, from about 8pm, promise film/snacks and pay her the going pocket money rate. I have a 12&13 yr old and although they are sensible, they get spooked out in the dark.

She's 13, it's fine!

Some of the replies on here no wonder kids get to 18 and still act like 12 yos. If she has a number for someone close by and they are happy to help out then its fine.

My 15&13 yo just had a weekend at home alone, they were totally fine. They had several emergency contacts available to them and they were happy to do it. DS2 stays alone at home till about midnight-ish regularly.

Like other posters have said at 13 I was babysitting for young kids/babies even. 13 yos are most definitely not babies FFS.

I totally agree with pugInthehouse.

She's 13, not 3. She'll be fine.

My DM left me at that age and I was fine!

@Comedycook

I have a 13 year old ds...I wouldn't leave him that late...no way. He'd say he'd be fine but I actually think he might freak out as it got later

So he freaks out then it builds some resilience as he knows he can manage or you drive back. But decent chance he wouldn't freak out and would play xbox or watch TV then fall asleep.

Yes it’s fine! I used to babysit neighbours’ kids until after midnight at 13.

Go and enjoy. She will be absolutely fine.

@DeadoftheMoon

Too young. Too long. Just a baby, really. Needs adult care, not a teenage neighbour.

She’s 13 years, not 13 months.

I would say it’s fine. If she was alone in a remote house with nobody nearby then perhaps not, but two doors down is an older teen she knows. As long as she’s generally a sensible girl and knows she can phone you/neighbour if she gets lonely or scared and you won’t be annoyed or cross if she changes her mind I don’t see a problem.

I see to babysit till past 1am at 13