I’ve missed out on so much-men wise

[Pissingitdown]

Met dh at 17, had lots of flirty fun before that and slept with only one person, then Dh. Over the years until around 26, we were off and on sometimes and had a difficult, quite intense relationship. I slept with 3 more men in that time (when we weren’t together) not really one night stands, but also not properly relationships.
I’m now early 40’s and wonder how much I’ve really missed out on in life, having not been in more than one relationship all my life.
I also wonder about other men and how good sex may have been and how I might not really have experienced anything.

Aibu to feel that I may have missed out? Or is there not really that much to have missed out on…if that makes sense?

Does anyone feel the same as me at this age?

I feel all my hot body years and previous fairly good looks have gone. All those beautiful guys I missed out on 🤷🏻‍♀️

I am in my 50s and have had lots of relationships over the years and I don’t look back on any of them with fondness really. Maybe the start was exciting but they always ended badly.

I honestly don’t think you have missed out on anything. I wish I could have met one person when I was younger and stayed with them, had children and grandchildren and had a ‘normal’ life, like my parents and older extended family members.

I also agree with pp that when I look back it’s the friendships, travelling, holidays, even work which has given me better memories and more satisfaction in my life.

You do not appreciate how hot you are when you are young 🤣

Yes, you've missed out.
I never went for one night stands but had some fantastic sex when I was younger, with great guys too. I had a great time
Married 20 years to a man who isn't into sex, so I am thankful my younger years were spent well

“ can I suggest you look calmly at what other non-sex things you really need right now? It might be travel, sport, dancing or a new group of friends who light up your weekends. We can't always have the sex we want, but we can have other things that are just as exciting.”

Personally I just don’t believe that’s true, at least when you’re in a hormonal moment. The satisfaction one gets from travel is nothing like the urge to have sex

What experiences do you think you have missed op? Sex with different men? To be honest I think if you did have that in your past you would be highly disappointed

Dating and playing around with guys, it honestly wouldnt be the same now. Would just be a headfuck, so I really wouldnt bother

I've slept with 10s of men, been intimate with/kissed probably 100s. I settled down with DP at 34 and was sexually active for 20 years before that. I actually wish I had met DP much sooner. I don't feel like I learnt much from all my liaisons. The grass isn't always greener.

You didn't miss much.

Crap sex, manipulative weirdos, risk of STIs

@Branleuse

Dating and playing around with guys, it honestly wouldnt be the same now. Would just be a headfuck, so I really wouldnt bother

Yeah tinder dating etc sounds hell tbh

OP, I think the ladies who've had multiple ONSs and saying you've missed nothing, doth protest too much. They enjoyed it enough to keep going back for more!

@TrishM80

OP, I think the ladies who've had multiple ONSs and saying you've missed nothing, doth protest too much. They enjoyed it enough to keep going back for more!

I enjoyed them enough to have them when I didn't have anything else. I didn't enjoy them enough to keep having them when I had fallen in love and was in a stable relationship.

I ate microwave food a lot before I learned how to cook.

It's not the men you've missed out on, it's the experience of being a woman in her 20s and not in a serious relationship, which is a fun, empowering time for many. I think being with the same person from 17 is a loooong stretch so it's inevitable you are thinking 'what if' even if you are happy. Like you I'd want my child to not settle down until their early 30s so that they'd have time to be in different types of relationships. It's valuable learning time and good life experience. I didn't meet DH til 30 and am glad of that because of my own life experiences before him.

I feel very sorry for anyone who thinks you can't have fun or be independent if you're in a relationship, or that you're actually grateful to have met your spouse later in life, I can only assume the marriage isn't a very happy one or the spouse not a great match for someone to genuinely feel like that. I'm sure you think that's the way marriage is supposed to be, but it's not, but what do I know, I'm just a silly girl who got married too young so it's totally fine to be patronising to the likes of me

@user0176 who has been patronising to you? As far as I can see on this thread, those people who have met their partners later have largely said they enjoyed a lot of their single time but appreciate that it wasn't necessarily fantastic all the time and recognise how settling down younger can bring significant benefits. In fact you saying that you 'feel sorry' for people who have forged a different path to you is massively patronising! I'm really pleased you met your husband when you were young and are obviously very happy. I'm really pleased I didn't meet mine until I was 32 and all the experiences I had before then. We are very happy- please don't presume to tell me that my partnership isn't the way it's supposed to be just because we met later in life!

@TrishM80

OP, I think the ladies who've had multiple ONSs and saying you've missed nothing, doth protest too much. They enjoyed it enough to keep going back for more!

Nah, I go back for more because I’m a relentless optimist when tipsy. My sober opinion is that ONS are shite (for me at least).