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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am sure I am! but men are bloody useless

65 replies

bunnyhunny · 14/12/2007 21:01

Dh was working late today. I have had a stressful afternoon with ds crying constantly if I left his side.

Anyway, eventually I get a call from dh, who offered to get pizza on the way home.

Lovely!

So he turns up with a dominos box. I am getting excited, until i open it. It's a meat feast. I dont eat red meat!!!

Fucking useless men.

I was really disappointed and had a go at him - I mean, we have been married for 12 years, and for most of that time I have been veggie, or have not eaten red meat. I think I was not veggie for about 2 years out of that time. He has gone to sulk upstairs and buggered if I am going to apologise.

OP posts:
JinglyJangly · 15/12/2007 10:28

Sounds like my DH. That is the type of thing he would do.

We have been married for 8 years & he still asks whether I take sugar in my tea (I don't) .

Saturn74 · 15/12/2007 10:36

Don't Dominos deliver?

Might be the best option for next time.

You say your DH was working late.
He was probably tired and just ordered the first thing that came into his head.

At least he did appreciate that you had had a stressful afternoon, and tried to make things easier for you - it's good that he's not the sort of man who automatically expects tea on the table the minute he gets home.

I think in the all-time list of heinous crimes against women, you'd have to scroll down quite a long way to see this one.

VVVExcitedAboutChristmasQV · 15/12/2007 10:37

MEn arent useless. Your DH is though!

CarmenerryChristmas · 15/12/2007 10:39

I'm not a vegetarian but I find it odd to say the least, that you don't eat red meat for moral reasons. Cows(red meat) have much better lives than chickens or pork(white meat).

Elasticwoman · 15/12/2007 11:05

You were at home all day with one child?
Dh was working all day, long hours?

Unless the child in question is a very young, unweaned baby, and you therefore have recently given birth, I think that both dh and ds deserve a hot home cooked meal. You deserve it too. Dh was trying to be helpful and probably felt that he was doing something that you would normally do, but he was helping you out because you were having a bad day. He probably forgot about your vegetarianism. I do think you are being unreasonable. Sorry but you did ask. And I think dh deserves an apology.

I have been there with caring for young children all day, believe me. But for me, food is for the family is top priority. It is expecting too much for the partner who is out working all day to be responsible for putting the evening meal on the table unless there are exceptional circumstances eg home-based partner is ill.

CarmenerryChristmas · 15/12/2007 11:10

Ah FGS Elastic, everyone deserves a break sometimes and you don't have to be sick in bed to deserve one.

pinetreedog · 15/12/2007 11:13

I think being livid would be taking it too seriously

Swedes2Turnips1 · 15/12/2007 11:19

LOL @ this thread. He forgot you were a vegetarian or perhaps he was very very hungry. Never mind, you will dine out on this story for years.

Elasticwoman · 15/12/2007 11:23

Yes every one deserves a break, but when you have children it normally needs to be planned with a babysitter. I agree with Swedes.

Beachcomber · 15/12/2007 17:24

I take pizza extremely seriously.

bunnyhohohunny · 15/12/2007 17:56

what interesting responses.
I was just in need of a rant. I dunno how dh can forget I only eat fish and birds (ok, I thought pigs / lamb etc were red meat, so this might be an easier way to explain it) - I have my own vegi or chicken sausages, vegi or turkey mince, don't eat pepperami tho dh does, we always order different pizza, don't eat doner kebabs etc etc etc. I think he was just being a thoughtless git.

It certainly wasnt meant as a topic about sex generalisations (obv I was narked when I wrote the title - perhaps it should read "but my man is bloody useless", but then I will get people going on about how I don't own dh ).

Elastic - if you manage to do a homecooked meal every night for your dh while looking after kids all day, then respect to you. I know I can't (let alone 3 meals - 1 dairy/soy free for ds, 1 vegi for me, 1 meaty for dh!!)

In the end, we still both feel wrong done by, but called a truce and had beer and fags.

And moral support for all those whose dh's do similar things. It's rubbish isn't it. As Elizabeth said, food disappointments really ARE the pits!!

SelfishMrsClaus · 15/12/2007 18:00

ElasticW, are you for real????

Or are you my SIL?

It sounds like the type of pre-historic ideas she has.. "thou is at home with only one child therefore thou shalt prepare & cook a hot meal"

Swedes2Turnips1 · 15/12/2007 20:39

We had home made pizza for supper. While we were eating I told my gathered family about the mumnsnet thread from the vegetarian wife whose husband of 10 + years brought home a meatfeast pizza.

bunnyhohohunny · 15/12/2007 20:49

i will tell dh that his crappy endeavors are now famous (infamous?)
lol

Wallace · 15/12/2007 20:50

LOL

My dh will sometimes ask me if I would like a coffee. I don't drink it, and never have done... He is more than welcome to make me a cup of tea though

bunnyhohohunny · 15/12/2007 21:16

dh thinks I make him look bad, and thinks he is known as pant-man (for the pants on the bathroom floor blog I did as ratfly here) and now crap-pizza-man.

he wants you all to know about the good bits too, which he is listing off as I type this
like:
he does some morning shifts
he baths ds and puts him to bed every night (except those nights when he is late home and brings home meat pizza)
he works hard
he doesnt moan about my not cooking.

and now he has been distracted by beer.

mumzyof2 · 15/12/2007 23:07

My dp bought my sons birthday card today, but didnt get the envelope for it. and
Men do these things, they just do them! My dp is constantly in the clouds, t would be funny if I didnt have to sort out the mistakes he makes. You have to smile about it

lazawreath · 15/12/2007 23:13

My dh is a proper frank spencer. What really annoys me is that he seems to fall/trip over anything, even a flat surface, and then he will make a big massive deal of it like he needs to go to casualty or something.

bookofchristmascarolsmum · 15/12/2007 23:21

My dp is actually pretty good on my food preferences - in fact, he's fussier than I am . My mum upset me the other day by offering me a tuna sandwich - I've barely eaten fish since I was a baby. 35+ years and she forgot!!

bookofchristmascarolsmum · 15/12/2007 23:28

Re being useless though my dp is terrified of losing important stuff but he also manages to achieve this at the same time (usually boarding passes or passports in airports which inevitably turn up in his pockets after the third time of searching).

I can only think that his Mum must have got used to turning out his pockets to find stuff when he was younger .

soopermum1 · 15/12/2007 23:28

well, i have to say if my DS grew up to be a meatlover pizza man in the way you have described and his DW or DG called him useless, i would heartely agree and give him a clip round the ear.

will be putting pizza consideration into my list of important things to teach him when becoming a man, along with the housework, getting a good job, helping to look after the kids and taking care of his dear old ma

honestly though, pizza's important, YANBU

DaDingDaDongDaMerrilyOnHigh · 15/12/2007 23:34

I read the thread title and thought 'I bet she's being unreasonable' because you'd said men are bloody useless.

Actually though, what he did was pretty useless. I mean, I'm pretty spectacularly inept myself, but I think I'd remember if my wife was a veggie!

Oh, and let's cut the guilt trips over take away...

DeePandcrisPandeven · 16/12/2007 00:38

You're right. Totally useless at everything and all the time. Every one of them the useless, useless feckers.

And complaining about getting the wrong sort of pizza is such an excellent use of the magic we know as the internet.

expatinscotland · 16/12/2007 00:41

of course they're not useless!

are you kidding?

they've got willies!

handlemecarefully · 16/12/2007 00:43

YANBU - not remembering that you don't like red meat ? - crappola. I'd be pissed off at this lack of consideration.

And for those who took exception to OP's statement about men being crap - it's called "letting off steam". I'm sure she wasn't being literal (sheesh!)