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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am sure I am! but men are bloody useless

65 replies

bunnyhunny · 14/12/2007 21:01

Dh was working late today. I have had a stressful afternoon with ds crying constantly if I left his side.

Anyway, eventually I get a call from dh, who offered to get pizza on the way home.

Lovely!

So he turns up with a dominos box. I am getting excited, until i open it. It's a meat feast. I dont eat red meat!!!

Fucking useless men.

I was really disappointed and had a go at him - I mean, we have been married for 12 years, and for most of that time I have been veggie, or have not eaten red meat. I think I was not veggie for about 2 years out of that time. He has gone to sulk upstairs and buggered if I am going to apologise.

OP posts:
amytheearwaxbanisher · 14/12/2007 21:09

that does sound a bit usless bless him for trying even if he did make a mess of it could you order something in for yourself?definatly dont apologies why should you

ally90 · 14/12/2007 21:10

Do you think it was done deliberately?

My dh would not do it deliberately...thoughtlessly yes! I personally love my food and describing the day you had...the thought of a pizza!! Yum!! Then the huge let down...yanbu

camillathechicken · 14/12/2007 21:10

he forgot you were a vegetarian?

Original poster
bunnyhunny · 14/12/2007 21:11

I could order, but they don't deliver (nothing delivers here, we live in the arse end of nowhere) and I really cant be bothered to go out and get it

OP posts:
Original poster
bunnyhunny · 14/12/2007 21:14

he said - well you used to eat pepperoni. yes, when I was pregnant and craved red meat.But havent eaten red meat for ages, for moral reasons

I dont know whats worse - that he was that thoughtless, or that he really hadnt noticed I don't eat red meat.

OP posts:
camillathechicken · 14/12/2007 21:24

he remembered that at some point, you liked pepperoni.. so maybe you should just give him a break ? or order a different pizza?

1066andallthat · 14/12/2007 22:21

Had this many years ago - on my birthday, an ex-partner, made lasagne, with mince. At the time, I was really hurt; now, it is mildly amusing and one of many vegetarian meets meat-eater stories.

TBH, it is the disappointment that makes it feel so bad. Hope you find something to make you feel better - chocolate, wine, a lie-in.

Original poster
bunnyhunny · 14/12/2007 22:47

yeah, it is the disappointment.
you'd think someone you lived with would have some kind of recollection that you don't eat red meat (I keep saying this cos I'm not strictly a vegi, but coming from the same perspective).
I know he doesnt eat chocolate cos it gives him spots, he doesnt like sprouts or broad beans.
He forgets I have been vegi most of my life and now eat chicken and fish, but not red meat.
sigh

OP posts:
EricScrooge · 14/12/2007 22:50

Poor guy - i bet he was thinking he was doing the right thing until he got home.

His intentions were honest.

Don't be TOO harsh on him will you?

I often fuck things up like that - but i know in my heart at the time i thought i was doing the right thing and thinking about my DW.

jinglebells2shoessmells · 14/12/2007 22:51

well mine isn't

soapbox · 14/12/2007 22:54

No men are not useless at all - it riles me to think that anyone would ever think that of my wonderful DS.

Maybe you've just happened on a crap one or maybe he was just trying his best and got it wrong!

Maybe we should all cut each other a bit of slack rather than writing off half of the human race as being useless

Elizabetth · 14/12/2007 22:56

YANBU

Sounds like he got the pizza he liked and didn't bother about you. It's hardly doing you a favour when you can't actually eat it is it?

Original poster
bunnyhunny · 14/12/2007 22:56

oi! don't go sympathising with him!!

OP posts:
EricScrooge · 14/12/2007 22:56

Thank you soapy.

It's nice to get a bit of balance isn't it?

NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 14/12/2007 22:57

i agree with soapy actually. we'd be up in arms if threads were entitled, 'bloody hell, women are useless!' wouldnt we?

my ds's are not and never will be useless. nor is my dp. nor is my dad, nor is at least one of my brothers .

what they are is human. like us.

sorry you got a shite pizza tho

OComeOLIVEfaithfOIL · 14/12/2007 23:00

well you mention you have a ds

let's hope that his future wife doesn't think he is a 'fucking uselss man'?

YABU

Original poster
bunnyhunny · 14/12/2007 23:02

lol,
I was really pissed off when I wrote this, and didnt think the title might rile people!
and my ds isnt useless (though he will have a good role model to become useless)

mashed potato and cheese *what I ended up eating) just didnt match up to my hopes for pizza!

OP posts:
Elizabetth · 14/12/2007 23:03

Food disappointments are the pits.

EmsMum · 14/12/2007 23:11

if we're out at a self-service type cafe DH usually gets the food while I bag a table. esp when DD was little. He once came back with a cottage cheese salad. Bleugh. Do I ever buy cottage cheese? No. Does it carry the message "you need something slimming" Yes. I made him have it. He's never made that mistake again - they can be trained, just never make assumptions about their observational abilities.

lojomamma · 14/12/2007 23:25

I have flu, and am of work sick, I'm barely functioning, dh gave me a choice, drive 10 miles to pick up dd from school (for four) or 1 mile to pick up ds (for 3). Unfortunately for dh his mam was here, she went ballastic he got them both and made dinner. His mam is wonderful

sexysantasuitedSlur · 14/12/2007 23:30

ahem
an alternative for your ds

men can be amazing. Yours no doubt has at least one or two uses

IorekByrnison · 14/12/2007 23:31

Soapbox/Scrooge/Nappies we all know that men aren't really useless in every respect, but who hasn't had an experience like the OP with their own dp/dh? I certainly have.

Men are just more prone to this kind of mistake imo, and when you've had a hard day, like Elizabetth says, it's the pits.

YANBU - much as we love them, when it comes to this kind of thing men are often bloody useless. Hope he makes it up to you when he's finished sulking

RoxyNotFoxy · 14/12/2007 23:48

They were God's first attempt, weren't they? When he got round to us he'd ironed out all the glitches. But not bad for a first draft.

NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 15/12/2007 07:48

oh bollocks, if youll pardon the expression.

i take exception at being told 'women cant drive' or 'women arent any good at fixing things'

and i bloody well take exception to statements like 'men are crap' coz thats at least a few billion people you are tarring with one brush, and quite frankly, if i were your man and you expected f all from me anyway, i expect i wouldt try to hard to exceed your low expectations either.

[pokes tongue out emoticon]

you want men to be responsible and thoughtful, you gotta show the same respect.

god help the ds's and future partners of women who actually beleive that men are genetically a bit rubbish.

Beachcomber · 15/12/2007 08:33

I'd be livid. How cruel to dangle the thought of yummy food that HAS BEEN PREPARED BY SOMONE ELSE in front of a parent who has had a bad day, only to snatch it away through crapness.

'Tis the sort of thing my lovely but imperfect DH would do.

I think turning this into a debate about sexual equality and relations is TTTS (taking things too seriously).