Aibu to think that a lot of kids are extremely anxious after lockdown?

[MrsHookey]

I've got one child who seems extremely anxious since lockdown. Anecdotally it seems like a few kids I know are like this. Is this a wider thing? Are mumsnetters finding their children have become anxious since March 2020?

Well apart from right at the beginning before it became clear that covid wasn't killing children I haven't been anxious about covid at all

His depression and anxiety were not due to a fear of covid it was definitely due to lockdown. The Christmas lockdown was just too much for him. He also didn't see his dad for over a year as he lives in republic of Ireland

Luckily it doesn't seem to have had lasting problems for him and he's fine again now

They had 6 months off school and restrictions then a couple of months back then off again. I don't know how some people didn't realise how that would cause problems for some dc.

Even when restrictions were relaxed many were in the age group that weren't allowed to meet up and take a walk with friends.

My DD already had anxiety but started secondary school during lockdown which definitely has made it a lot worse.

Well apart from right at the beginning before it became clear that covid wasn't killing children

Covid IS killing children, and I think you should imagine how those parents would feel reading your post.

@Rugsofhonour

It’s more like to be an age thing. Your kids are at nursery so quite young, will have less of an impact for them, especially if they could carry on going to nursery.

Your post is unfair and seems to be putting the blame on parents for their kids anxiety. If all kids could have carried on going to their day care, as yours did, I’m sure they would all be much better.

And this is speaking as someone in the same position as you and find it hard you can’t see how lucky your child was. I work with ‘disadvantages’ teens, it’s fucked many of them up even more

I agree. My own young teen is definitely more anxious and socially-avoidant. I’m a teacher and can confirm a lot of kids are anxious and jumpy.

Primary teacher here.
No increase in anxiety or mental wellbeing concerns in my area. However, we have noticed that the children have become more socially selfish: everything is very me-centric all the time. Some have become quite unkind with it too. Academically, emotionally, etc. I'd say ours are fine but in terms of maturity, it definitely feels like they are behind there.

@Iamnotthe1

That’s really interesting.

Water of a ducks back to my 13yr old. Talking to friends I don't see that any of them have been unduly affected either.

@Howshouldibehave I knew someone would come along with that after I wrote that . Well done you!

I don't know any parent who wasn't relived that it wasn't killing children at the rate it was adults though.

And Yes, there will always be cv children, teens , young adults that are extremely vulnerable to it the same as they are to other viruses or illness

I should also add in long covid but for the majority or children and teens covid won't cause any major problems

Yes definitely, it's only just becoming apparent in small ways though. Mine are 3 and 5.

From working with children on a professional and voluntary basis -

• there has been a massive rise in anxiety in children (especially girls, I believe) over the last decade, and increasingly over the last few years - I've noticed this in A level students especially. Some children are really worried at the idea of doing something and doing it wrong, so just don't start. In some cases, I think this was there already, but it's become more visible as a result of spending more time together. In others, young people seem to be feeling more isolated and reluctant to seek help.

• in non-formal settings, I have seen young people being kinder, happy to be together, more ready to get stuck into things, and more appreciative of simple pleasures, being outside, and doing things which aren't based on tech.

Yes, the lockdowns have been terrible for my daughter. She is almost unrecognisable as the person she was before this happened. She is not at all worried about Covid. It was the lockdowns that affected her.

Mine weren’t anxious at all during lockdown
And sure as heck aren’t now

I suspect because I wasn’t

Primary and secondary

I remember during lockdown reading the uncontrolled anxiety of so many mumsnetters

I often wondered how their children were coping

And now I now. They weren’t and aren’t now. They absorbed all that parental anxiety

@Rugsofhonour

We were lucky to qualify for a nursery keyworker place so our son was able to continue pretty much as normal throughout lockdown. We also never made a big deal about covid. We didn’t show any anxiety, didn’t really talk about it. Used our daily exercise to go to the park and kick a ball about.

Is there a correlation between how parents reacted and how their children have been affected? My brother was extremely paranoid about covid and they hardly left the house for months at a time during lockdown. They didn’t even go into shops. They also talked about it a lot in front of their three primary age kids. Those three kids are now very anxious about covid. I find it hard to believe there isn’t a link.

Agree. We didn't qualify for school places but we didn't expose the kids to covid news on the TV or anything. We didn't discuss it in front of them. I feel sorry for the children who were exposed to extreme anxiety of parents.

@Oftenithinkaboutit

I remember during lockdown reading the uncontrolled anxiety of so many mumsnetters

I often wondered how their children were coping

And now I now. They weren’t and aren’t now. They absorbed all that parental anxiety

This is not right. You don’t have any way to back this up

If a child has mh concerns without Covid do you do the same and say it’s down to the parents being the same?

I haven’t been anxious and dc are ok now but lockdown was hard on them too. Why not, they are social and like to be with friends. Not learning on a screen.

All the way through this people have tried to squash any concerns re impact on dc. Most likely for their own benefit or anxiety too. It’s wrong

For the last time: NOT ALL KIDS ARE ANXIOUS BECAUSE OF PARENTAL ANXIETY. Is it so far fetched to believe that kids are anxious because they were put in an intolerable position for months on end?

100%

Dd started high school in sept 2020 and by Easter this year was self harming 😢

We've had the school mental health team on the phone and she remains extremely anxious although the cutting has stopped.

When the govt decided to put primark before schools they made a grave mistake. I will never forget or forgive.

Why are so many people so very invested in believing that shutting schools for months, making it illegal for kids to see their wider family and friends, and removing virtually everything else from their lives overnight has had no negative effect at all, and any issues are down to anxious parents? Are you trying to make yourselves feel better?

@bookworm14

For the last time: NOT ALL KIDS ARE ANXIOUS BECAUSE OF PARENTAL ANXIETY. Is it so far fetched to believe that kids are anxious because they were put in an intolerable position for months on end?

And what made that situation so intolerable for many was surrounded by the uncontrolled anxiety of their parents that I saw all over mumsnet during that time

I wasn't anxious about covid in any way. But was very concerned about my kids. DS refuses to do any online work and school have no live lessons (we've been told it's 'not safe'). I literally begged the school to give him a place during lockdown due to mental health issues. Head said sorry no, we're full.

I swear if they tried to close school again I would take him every morning and demand he be let in.

@bookworm14

Why are so many people so very invested in believing that shutting schools for months, making it illegal for kids to see their wider family and friends, and removing virtually everything else from their lives overnight has had no negative effect at all, and any issues are down to anxious parents? Are you trying to make yourselves feel better?

I absolutely believe these factors contributed to a boredom and low level anxiety in many but that left many as the situation loosened up, return to school socialising sports etc

But what’s being described here is rather different to boredom and low level anxiety

And what made that situation so intolerable for many was surrounded by the uncontrolled anxiety of their parents that I saw all over mumsnet during that time

You can’t make this assumption.
Plus a lot of anxiety was evident in those who weren’t worried about dc at all, so more for themselves than passing it on.

Those who opposed school closure tended to be less anxious about Covid,