Aibu to think that a lot of kids are extremely anxious after lockdown?

[MrsHookey]

I've got one child who seems extremely anxious since lockdown. Anecdotally it seems like a few kids I know are like this. Is this a wider thing? Are mumsnetters finding their children have become anxious since March 2020?

My kids (16 and 12) were pissed off when football was cancelled, and neither them liked lockdown and school isolations, but they haven’t been anxious at any point. I think it’s partly due to the fact that I went out to work every day and didn’t die, so the mortal terror that gripped much of the nation passed them by.

Having read on here about people who didn’t leave the house for a year and so on, I’m not surprised there are high levels of anxiety in all age groups.
Personally I don’t think it’s the actual restrictions that have damaged kids, it’s the fear that has been instilled in them by media hysteria, and the ludicrous rules that people slavishly followed.

Having read on here about people who didn’t leave the house for a year and so on, I’m not surprised there are high levels of anxiety in all age groups.

Those concerned about impact from school closures tended not to be in this group. It wasn’t anxiety re Covid.

@MarshaBradyo

Having read on here about people who didn’t leave the house for a year and so on, I’m not surprised there are high levels of anxiety in all age groups.

Those concerned about impact from school closures tended not to be in this group. It wasn’t anxiety re Covid.

True, but some of the hysteria and blind panic I’ve read on here, from people who weren’t even CEV, has shown that many households throughout the country have lived in a state of terror, which will have been conveyed to their kids. A friend of mine lamented the school closures and struggled with home learning, but when they went out she wouldn’t let the kids have an ice cream in a park because there was a queue for the van, and the Covid risk was too great!

Yes I suppose the fear level was part of an overall problem

But I wouldn’t assume posters on this thread were in that group

My own DC haven't been too badly affected although they were very young at the start of this (6 and 3 then - 8 and 5 now).

I notice my nephew (16) stays home a lot more.

My ILS are both secondary teachers and both report that behaviour has been awful since the lockdowns. One works at a school in a very affluent area, the other in a deprived area but both report the same issues.

@Bagamoyo1

Totally agree

But brace yourself as any hint that SOME children were negatively impacted by the fact that SOME parents (as evidenced on this site. Many many times during lockdown) for themselves whipped in to a frenzy, goes down like a lead balloon on this thread

[quote Oftenithinkaboutit]@Bagamoyo1

Totally agree

But brace yourself as any hint that SOME children were negatively impacted by the fact that SOME parents (as evidenced on this site. Many many times during lockdown) for themselves whipped in to a frenzy, goes down like a lead balloon on this thread[/quote]
Maybe because it’s the wrong crowd?

Tell people where there is evidence of that rather than insinuate it had anything to do with people on this one

It's a mixed bag, surely?

There are parents who had significant covid anxiety and whose children have been impacted by that. I know some and I've seen it happen. These are generally a pretty different cohort to those who were pissed off about the negative impact of school closures, notwithstanding that some parents will have changed views and been in both groups at different times.

There are also detrimental impacts stemming from restrictions that as a parent you can only mitigate so far with your own attitude and decisions. Children who were denied access to school are the most obvious example of that. You can do things like ensure you don't have the news on around your kids, that they socialise if you have access to people to socialise with, that type of thing. You can't make there be no impact from being denied school for months.

You can't make there be no impact from being denied school for months.

Exactly. You can keep things as calm and normal at home as you possibly can, but that doesn’t offset the massive impact of being denied normal socialisation for months on end. It is revolting that parents are still being blamed for their children’s normal reaction to the wholesale removal of their entire lives overnight.

And yes, there are definitely parents who projected their own anxiety about covid onto their kids. However these are generally speaking not the parents who feel their kids were detrimentally affected by school closures. If you were very anxious about covid itself, you were more likely to believe that your kids were fine staying safely at home painting rainbows and baking banana bread.

@bookworm14

And yes, there are definitely parents who projected their own anxiety about covid onto their kids. However these are generally speaking not the parents who feel their kids were detrimentally affected by school closures. If you were very anxious about covid itself, you were more likely to believe that your kids were fine staying safely at home painting rainbows and baking banana bread.

Exactly.

You’d downplay the negative impact it had on them due to your own anxiety (or they would rather)

@MarshaBradyo

I’m not “insinuating” anything
I’m fairly clear

In SOME cases I believe the absolute frenzy of anxiety that SOME parents got themselves in, as evidenced on this very site during lockdown, that left some of us open mouthed, is to blame for the anxiety of their children.
Key word there - SOME

[quote Oftenithinkaboutit]@MarshaBradyo

I’m not “insinuating” anything
I’m fairly clear

In SOME cases I believe the absolute frenzy of anxiety that SOME parents got themselves in, as evidenced on this very site during lockdown, that left some of us open mouthed, is to blame for the anxiety of their children.
Key word there - SOME[/quote]
It’s not very relevant to this thread.

The anxious ones downplayed what was going on with their dc

It was self preservation for adults

The anxious ones downplayed what was going on with their dc

I read posts during lockdown of posters not getting out of bed, asking what was the point of carrying on, saying they could not stop crying etc. And then casually mentioning they had children.

You seem to be absolutely committed to the idea that not a single child suffered anxiety because their mother and or father, with whom they shared a space with constantly for many months on end…. Was bedside themselves with anxiety and most certainly not “hiding” it

"Personally I don’t think it’s the actual restrictions that have damaged kids, it’s the fear that has been instilled in them by media hysteria, and the ludicrous rules that people slavishly followed."

Ds doesn't know covid exists but did notice all the changes and for a child with severe autism who relies on routine to cope and understand the world, this was distressing.

@Oftenithinkaboutit

*The anxious ones downplayed what was going on with their dc *

I read posts during lockdown of posters not getting out of bed, asking what was the point of carrying on, saying they could not stop crying etc. And then casually mentioning they had children.

You seem to be absolutely committed to the idea that not a single child suffered anxiety because their mother and or father, with whom they shared a space with constantly for many months on end…. Was bedside themselves with anxiety and most certainly not “hiding” it

On any thread about impact of school closures yes I think it’s of lower relevance.

The rate of anxious people downplaying impact is likely higher. And yes multiple posts in that direction too. In fact this is one of the few threads where people have been able to open up about it as so many have been intent on squashing it. Due to their own anxiety.

The problem is that a tendency clearly exists, and it was present in this thread within the first couple of pages, to assume anxiety etc is a response to parental attitudes and behaviours. That does happen, but it's only one part of the whole and ignores the massively significant fact that there were some things inflicted on children that parents simply couldn't mitigate. As such, if people want to discuss the specific impact of parental anxiety, they need to be clear about the other points I mentioned otherwise it's just not going to happen.

As I said, repeatedly

some

My asd dc loved lockdown! However, we live rural so lots of walks in forests and picnics. Dcs mental health actually improved.

Tbh I don't get the point in analysing why, now. We are where we are surely. We don't expect to revisit these lockdowns again.

There does seem to be this odd impression that there was some perfect way of managing a global pandemic in a way that didn’t impact children at all. Some insisting that we shouldn’t have closed schools, with no consideration for what impact that would have had on vulnerable children, families, and indeed covid spread among those not technically vulnerable but who would nonetheless be badly affected (like the mum of the child I posted about upthread). Being in school during a pandemic is also not a stress-free scenario. Anyone currently in a school where kids are catching it, teachers are off in waves and the whole thing is a mess know that this is also not a consequence-free option.

People seem to be searching about for people to blame for kids being affected by a global crisis.

@bookworm14

You can't make there be no impact from being denied school for months.

Exactly. You can keep things as calm and normal at home as you possibly can, but that doesn’t offset the massive impact of being denied normal socialisation for months on end. It is revolting that parents are still being blamed for their children’s normal reaction to the wholesale removal of their entire lives overnight.

Yes the blame on parents has been astonishing. It was shocking to see it acceptable that denying some children their right to be educated and socialised because their parents were deemed unnecessary to society.

@MrsHookey

Tbh I don't get the point in analysing why, now. We are where we are surely. We don't expect to revisit these lockdowns again.

Austria just imposed a full lockdown All schools closed As of today

Worth exploring the why. In order to avoid if does happen again

I think we have all learnt that we can have the rug pulled from beneath us any day of the week

* because their parents were deemed unnecessary to society.*

Their job unnecessary in an emergency situation not them per se
Mine wasn’t
I accepted that

Often on the Austria point I agree with you. Very concerning it’s happening there again.