Aibu to think that a lot of kids are extremely anxious after lockdown?

[MrsHookey]

I've got one child who seems extremely anxious since lockdown. Anecdotally it seems like a few kids I know are like this. Is this a wider thing? Are mumsnetters finding their children have become anxious since March 2020?

You can't make there be no impact from being denied school for months.

But similarly, you can't deny that the impact may not have been negative. The impact on my DS, and my family generally of lockdown was overwhelmingly positive. I'm not at all denying that for others it was hugely negative though.

Even now the key worker shit still pisses me off. I know a woman who works in a health food shop and called herself a key worker . I still don't understand why it was ok for some children to sit in a classroom all day with other children yet it was illegal for me to accompany my child to the park to meet a friend. The government really didn't think that through imo. I remember waiting to hear whether they would reopen schools in mar of this year and my own anxiety was sky high as I was getting so worried about my dds low mood. I honestly felt close to a breakdown as the pressure was so much for me. I felt entirely responsible for my DC's happiness. I had to be their parent, their teacher and their friend. I felt pressure to be constantly upbeat to keep them feeling positive. It was horrendous.

I still don't understand why it was ok for some children to sit in a classroom all day with other children yet it was illegal for me to accompany my child to the park to meet a friend.

This. I can accept that temporary school closures were necessary (although they went on too long in my view), but so many of the regulations were just pointless cruelty. Why not exempt kids from the ‘rule of 2’ as they did in Scotland? I will never not be angry that my child had to sit and watch over half her classmates socialising at school while she was stuck at home in front of a screen, when at the same time it was illegal for her to see a single friend in person.

I will never not be angry that my child had to sit and watch over half her classmates socialising at school while she was stuck at home in front of a screen

This upset my dd so much. When I told the teacher this, they said that it was hard for the kids in school too

Their job unnecessary in an emergency situation

That's not what actually happened though for many.

Their job carried on while wfh.

Certainly there was no indication that the tax they were raising for revenue was 'unnecessary'.

Their children were not given a school place and it was illegal for them to socialise with other children. And they were supposed to facilitate remote learning on top of their day jobs.

@Comedycook

I will never not be angry that my child had to sit and watch over half her classmates socialising at school while she was stuck at home in front of a screen

This upset my dd so much. When I told the teacher this, they said that it was hard for the kids in school too

So, so bad. One saving grace here was dc didn’t see this as set up was different.

I was incredulous that some dc had to have that.

@MrsHookey

Tbh I don't get the point in analysing why, now. We are where we are surely. We don't expect to revisit these lockdowns again.

Because if we don't learn from our mistakes - we're doomed to repeat them. I'm currently doing my dissertation for uni researching the impact on kids and every time I think I've reached peak shock at what we put them through - my jaw drops just a little bit more.

I think it's important that parents and kids get the chance to be heard and tell their story of these events - not just the media, politicians and those who shout the loudest.

@JunoMcDuff

You can't make there be no impact from being denied school for months.

But similarly, you can't deny that the impact may not have been negative. The impact on my DS, and my family generally of lockdown was overwhelmingly positive. I'm not at all denying that for others it was hugely negative though.

I'm not. There exist children who benefitted from being at home, particularly those who were fortunate enough to access some meaningful education provision whilst there. On a societal level though, negative is what it was.

And yes, as several posters have said, we need to be clear about mistakes so we can try and avoid them happening again. We need to understand exactly what harms were done so that if another pandemic happens, which it will at some point, we have a better idea how to weigh up risks and benefits.

As the pp said, that necessarily involves parents and children telling their stories. The impact of some children being considered unworthy of a school place, in many cases whilst their parents had to continue working and paid taxes whilst the state washed it's hands of their DCs education and welfare, is part of that.

Because if we don't learn from our mistakes - we're doomed to repeat them. I'm currently doing my dissertation for uni researching the impact on kids and every time I think I've reached peak shock at what we put them through - my jaw drops just a little bit more.

I think it's important that parents and kids get the chance to be heard and tell their story of these events - not just the media, politicians and those who shout the loudest.

I bet and agree. Too much suppression of negative impact by various groups.

Juno if it’s that positive homeschool is an option. Closed schools do not present same option.

Fascinating that some posters are taking a definition of their job as essential or non-essential to the running of the country and transferring that to a label of worth for their child. It was nothing to do with the child’s worth.

Some countries didn’t open schools to any children. Would that have been better, if we are considering all the options? No child would have been deemed worthy or unworthy then.

@noblegiraffe

Fascinating that some posters are taking a definition of their job as essential or non-essential to the running of the country and transferring that to a label of worth for their child. It was nothing to do with the child’s worth.

Some countries didn’t open schools to any children. Would that have been better, if we are considering all the options? No child would have been deemed worthy or unworthy then.

The denial here is really interesting. Worthiness of a school place is literally what it was. Some of you just don't care for the wording.

Re your second point, it would've been less socially divisive but I think probably the welfare impact would've been worse. That being said, the divisiveness may have long term impacts that we don't understand yet. For example in the US, as black children were less likely than white to have access to in person schooling, that could impact social inequality in a way we don't yet understand. I also worry about the damage to public schooling per se there.

Worthiness of a school place is literally what it was.

But it was nothing to do with the child. It wasn’t a rating of the child, it was a decision about whether the country could cope if a parent was needed to stay at home to look after the child.

My kids stayed at home. Both their parents could have qualified as keyworkers but we were both at home. They didn’t need a school place for us to work (although I did need to work till 2-3am to accommodate this).

They stayed at home to reduce the spread of infection during a lockdown.

On the other hand, in summer 2020, one of them got to go to school full time and one of them had to stay at home, because of the school year they were in. Now that was a decision that could certainly be reviewed as to whether it made sense. If schools needed to operate with reduced numbers, would a rota have been better?

Worthiness of a school place is literally what it was

No. It was worthiness of a job necessitating childcare. School was the provider of that child care. The school building was not an establishment of education, but a holding pen to allow certain jobs to be done.

I don't know a single child who received better education due to being physically in school than was provided for those at home - mostly work sheets and pre-recorded lessons for all.

@noblegiraffe

Worthiness of a school place is literally what it was.

But it was nothing to do with the child. It wasn’t a rating of the child, it was a decision about whether the country could cope if a parent was needed to stay at home to look after the child.

My kids stayed at home. Both their parents could have qualified as keyworkers but we were both at home. They didn’t need a school place for us to work (although I did need to work till 2-3am to accommodate this).

They stayed at home to reduce the spread of infection during a lockdown.

On the other hand, in summer 2020, one of them got to go to school full time and one of them had to stay at home, because of the school year they were in. Now that was a decision that could certainly be reviewed as to whether it made sense. If schools needed to operate with reduced numbers, would a rota have been better?

It was everything to do with the child, because it concerned their entitlement to school. Some children were deemed worthy of a place and others not. The assessment mostly being based on what their parents were doing doesn't mean the children weren't being assigned as worthy or otherwise, because that is what happened.

I agree summer 2020 was problematic too and in fact was in the same position as you then. One in, one not. Yes, part time schooling in smaller groups, for all the many flaws with that approach, would have been better than some children receiving education with better ratios than usual plus socialisation in school whilst others were left with fuck all.

@JunoMcDuff

Worthiness of a school place is literally what it was

No. It was worthiness of a job necessitating childcare. School was the provider of that child care. The school building was not an establishment of education, but a holding pen to allow certain jobs to be done.

I don't know a single child who received better education due to being physically in school than was provided for those at home - mostly work sheets and pre-recorded lessons for all.

No, you're incorrect. School was childcare only in the first lockdown, when the curriculum was suspended. In the January to March 2021 closure, the one I am talking about, the curriculum was not suspended and children in school were being educated. They were receiving much more than many of the children at home, particularly primary, inevitable given that schools can't simultaneously teach in person and remotely without doubling staff.

And parents knew this, which is why so many people were so desperate to keep their kids in school in January and so much piss was taken. I don't blame them either, I'd have done the same.

No, you're incorrect. School was childcare only in the first lockdown, when the curriculum was suspended.

Yep

And parents knew this, which is why so many people were so desperate to keep their kids in school in January and so much piss was taken. I don't blame them either, I'd have done the same.

Absolutely for education and socialisation

@noblegiraffe

There does seem to be this odd impression that there was some perfect way of managing a global pandemic in a way that didn’t impact children at all. Some insisting that we shouldn’t have closed schools, with no consideration for what impact that would have had on vulnerable children, families, and indeed covid spread among those not technically vulnerable but who would nonetheless be badly affected (like the mum of the child I posted about upthread). Being in school during a pandemic is also not a stress-free scenario. Anyone currently in a school where kids are catching it, teachers are off in waves and the whole thing is a mess know that this is also not a consequence-free option.

People seem to be searching about for people to blame for kids being affected by a global crisis.

This. Statements such as ‘schools should never have been closed’ don’t really take into account the anxiety for kids (especially teens, who have access to and therefore cannot be protected from all the media madness in a way that young children don’t/can) of being in school when local cases are extremely high.

The fact is, there was a global pandemic. Now a novel endemic disease which we are learning to live with, albeit in a sometimes rather muddled way. If the country had been at war, or the entire UK had flooded, or any other disaster, we would expect kids to be affected by it… surely it is normal that many kids have also been affected by this?! What is useful now is looking for ways to support kids, some of which have been shared usefully on this thread.

I don't know a single child who received better education due to being physically in school than was provided for those at home - mostly work sheets and pre-recorded lessons for all.

I thought this - but wondered if it varried between areas.

Here there were designated hubs - two primaries one secondary - so may of the kids weren't in thier school - staff varried and other children weren't always known to them.

Some of the situations described with kids watching their friends be in do sound poor - but many parents I knew who got places were really worried about their kids being in these hubs and many at primary level were finding they were loaded down with school work at end of day as well as they weren't doing lessons just childcare.

Same time I had family nearly going under with lack of any childcare options and full time work.

If in class was a poor choice then we wouldn’t have seen the huge demand to get places.

You could always choose to take them out if home was better.

@inferiorCatSlave

I don't know a single child who received better education due to being physically in school than was provided for those at home - mostly work sheets and pre-recorded lessons for all.

I thought this - but wondered if it varried between areas.

Here there were designated hubs - two primaries one secondary - so may of the kids weren't in thier school - staff varried and other children weren't always known to them.

Some of the situations described with kids watching their friends be in do sound poor - but many parents I knew who got places were really worried about their kids being in these hubs and many at primary level were finding they were loaded down with school work at end of day as well as they weren't doing lessons just childcare.

Same time I had family nearly going under with lack of any childcare options and full time work.

May I ask, are you talking about the 2020 closures, 2021 or both here? As there was also variation between lockdowns. The curriculum was suspended in the first but not the second. In ours the provision on offer looked very different both times. It was similar to what you describe in 2020, but in 2021 many more children were in and as the curriculum was not suspended they were actually taught.

@noblegiraffe

Fascinating that some posters are taking a definition of their job as essential or non-essential to the running of the country and transferring that to a label of worth for their child. It was nothing to do with the child’s worth.

Some countries didn’t open schools to any children. Would that have been better, if we are considering all the options? No child would have been deemed worthy or unworthy then.

Fascinating is a euphemism in my mind.

A determination to see shadows.

Whilst I was so disappointed and angry when the schools closed, my children didn’t get a whiff of that. Onwards and upwards. It was shit they weren’t at the school they loved and some of their friends were. But it had bugger all to their friend being worth more. And fob smacked that some parents thought that.

ExceptionalAssurance in your area, maybe.

Not in mine. Online schooling was better than in person schooling.

Worth more and having been assessed by someone else as more worthy of a school place are emphatically not the same thing. If you think they are, perhaps that's the reason for your astonishment.

@MarshaBradyo

If in class was a poor choice then we wouldn’t have seen the huge demand to get places.

You could always choose to take them out if home was better.

Not true.

Most people I know didn't care about the educational perspective, but needed to be able to get on with their jobs during daytime hours.

Most people I know didn't care about the educational perspective, but needed to be able to get on with their jobs during daytime hours.

Well that also applies to other people working doesn’t it?

But more importantly you’re forgetting socialisation for children

That was the hardest part of the isolation for another term for some dc.