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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Literally couldn’t make it up! Any advice appreciated.

271 replies

LivingInTheTrumanShow · 15/11/2021 20:13

DD not happy at current school - is an Estyn Outstanding out of catchment. Children are just miserable but the results are obviously great.

Decided DD happiness is worth more than anything so rang our catchment school agreed they had a place in reception. Great! Put the in year transfer request in, accepted the place.

Turn up at new school DD has been put in the reception/nursery class! Asked why this was and was told that the reception class was full!

What’s worse is the reception students in the nursery/reception class are summer born or less able!

My DD is a winter baby and very very forward, is reading and doing KS1 maths already. Is there anything I can do now? I spoke to the head who was adamant the reception class is already full, it was filled in September!

I want to move schools again asap AIBU?? or do I see how it goes and have faith that her class teacher will differentiate effectively?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/11/2021 18:42

If you’re worried - just keep reading with her at home.

Tessabelle74 · 16/11/2021 18:43

Academic aspect at 4??? How to say you have a PFB without saying you have a PFB 🙄

Tal45 · 16/11/2021 18:44

A mid August baby who taught herself to read before she started school here - damn it I knew I should have gone straight into Y1.

OP first you said her happiness was the most important thing, now she's happy and you're still not satisfied. At this age there's so much you can do at home to encourage them if they're having too much fun at school.

You can read to them and listen to them read every day, you can get her some fun maths books and get her to do a little bit at the weekend, you can take her to museums, farms and zoos and you can get her swimming lessons, piano lessons, ballet lessons and all the other out of school activities that she might love.

Talk to her teacher and tell her your concerns, hopefully she'll be able to reassure you. There are a lot of hoops she might have to jump through though to make sure she doesn't have any holes in her knowledge and understanding and that she is doing things in a way that will work for her as she goes on through the school.

Orchid876 · 16/11/2021 18:54

She's 4. The solution to your problem is to stop worrying about the "academic aspect" and be thankful your child is happy. Reception isn't "academic". And your comment about "less able" children in her class is just insulating to those children. They're 4, you've no idea who will turn out to be "more able" as they get older, it is not something that can be judged that early.

MabDresden · 16/11/2021 18:55

I think that happy children thrive, relax, you are doing fine

iloveredpandas · 16/11/2021 18:57

@LivingInTheTrumanShow

She came out of the new school saying mummy I absolutely loved it! It does feel like a really nurturing environment much more than the previous school but now I’m worried about the academic aspect.
So the first school was too academic and the second school was not academic enough.

Ii suggest you try Baby Bear's porridge, it should be just right 😊

PinkMochi · 16/11/2021 19:00

You do realise that teachers can differentiate work to suit different abilities in their class? Also, EYFS is mainly child led and play based to promote different areas of child development. You need to focus on your dd’s mental well-being rather than her “academic studies.” She’s 4. Leave her alone.

RonSwansonsChair · 16/11/2021 19:03

@LivingInTheTrumanShow

She came out of the new school saying mummy I absolutely loved it! It does feel like a really nurturing environment much more than the previous school but now I’m worried about the academic aspect.
You're worried about the academic aspect??? She's 4!!!!!! Let her enjoy school FGS.
Insanelysilver · 16/11/2021 19:04

Tbh I think you’d have been better to wait out this year as kids can be happy in school one minute and unhappy the next. It’s often down to a bit of uncertainty with friendship groups and Just getting used to being in class , being told what to do and not to do, and some teachers themselves being a bit kinder etc.
If I had moved my kids every time they said they didn’t like it , I’d have had a school a month.
I’m not sure how long your sons been in the new school but maybe you could beg the old school to take him back. Say you had a nervous breakdown or something.
I
Do think the new school should have told you that your son would be in a younger class though so you could have made an more informed decision.

Straycats · 16/11/2021 19:09

Working with kids, who all vary and do things at different paces and having had a son who was SEN at Primary. I find your whole viewpoint exceptionally insulting, many kids will catch up and even forge further ahead and in years my surpass your daughter. My son found his feet and will be doing a Masters.

Dibbydoos · 16/11/2021 19:11

I don't think you're being unreasonable OP. If reception class is full what about year 1 class(es)? My son was wrongly streamed cos top streams were full, absolutely fine up his secondary education! Teachers can only teach to class average no matter what anyone else says.

My own senior school teacher in 1980's told my best mate and me that cos there were 11 of us in 6th form doing A levels we wouldn't get As we could get, she was right but we both went to uni - my best mate's a GP and I went on to read a masters, but we had a lot of work to do to catch up at uni. It was tough. Intelligents kids are not well catered for in many state schools...

Cyw2018 · 16/11/2021 19:12

My preschool DD is in a key stage 1 class in 4 years she'll move up a class into the key stage 2 class. It is an excellent school, and DD loves it.

OP get a grip.

Dibbydoos · 16/11/2021 19:12

F'd up his secondary education not fined up!!!!

Timetoretiretospain · 16/11/2021 19:15

I’m a primary teacher . Please do not worry . If your daughter is happy she will learn. Learning through play is very very important.

Sillyname63 · 16/11/2021 19:21

Leave her there there to enjoy and settle into school life if you think in future ( a few years) that she needs to be stretched you can see about moving then but surely the whole point of reception is for children to interact with others and learn through play, Perhaps she likes being in a less competitive environment.don't push she will be unhappy.

Mirw · 16/11/2021 19:27

Get over yourself! Leave her where she is. What is all this crap about winter babies being more intelligent... Cite scientific sources or keep this brainiac woowoo to yourself.

Etinoxaurus · 16/11/2021 19:30

Kids in most countries don’t start until 7- you have stumbled across the perfect solution.
💐 try and relax

WTAFhappened123 · 16/11/2021 19:33

Oh you’re one of THOSE parents Hmm

mam0918 · 16/11/2021 19:38

It's fucking reception class?

Hardly like a teen being bullied and abused, she has been there barely 2 months.

No kid is 'happy' with a big adjustment like starting school and she never will be if you keep dragging her up because her entire life will be upheaval she never settles too.

Also, are you really judging 5-year-olds as 'beneath' your daughter because they were born 3-6 months later?

do you hear how snobby and stupid that sounds?

DukkaDukka · 16/11/2021 19:42

I don’t think the OP is coming back…Hmm

Lopoem · 16/11/2021 19:51

While I am surprised you pulled her out her first school so quickly, I can fully understand your predicament now. My oldest is a winter baby and very bright. She was ready to start reception the year before she started. By the time she did start she knew a large proportion of phonics sounds, could read and form all her letters. There is just no way they could cater for her academic level while looking after younger children. If I'm honest I think it would be difficult if it was just a 1 class entry. Fortunately there are 2 classes and RML is grouped across the whole year. So yes, I can fully understand your concerns. Bright children can easily get bored, and if my daughter is anything to go by then totally loose focus. I really don't think you can pull your daughter out of yet another school though this could be extremely detrimental to her in other ways. Although I do think they were wrong to tell you they had space when they clearly don't have space within her own age group. I would ask for a meeting with her teacher to discuss where she currently is academically and hopefully gain some reassurance that they will be meeting her academic needs.

WayneBruce · 16/11/2021 19:54

Never has a thread title been so accurate.

fournonblondes · 16/11/2021 19:56

Miserable at 4? What?

April506 · 16/11/2021 20:02

Sounds OK to me. Allow her to be happy. She won't lose any of her ability. Children don't regress if they're happy

ziegfeld · 16/11/2021 20:02

I don’t understand how this works. What happens next year - does your child move into full reception while the kids who were in reception this year go into Y1, or does your kid go into Y1 with them? If the former, I can see why you might be worried.