Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Literally couldn’t make it up! Any advice appreciated.

271 replies

LivingInTheTrumanShow · 15/11/2021 20:13

DD not happy at current school - is an Estyn Outstanding out of catchment. Children are just miserable but the results are obviously great.

Decided DD happiness is worth more than anything so rang our catchment school agreed they had a place in reception. Great! Put the in year transfer request in, accepted the place.

Turn up at new school DD has been put in the reception/nursery class! Asked why this was and was told that the reception class was full!

What’s worse is the reception students in the nursery/reception class are summer born or less able!

My DD is a winter baby and very very forward, is reading and doing KS1 maths already. Is there anything I can do now? I spoke to the head who was adamant the reception class is already full, it was filled in September!

I want to move schools again asap AIBU?? or do I see how it goes and have faith that her class teacher will differentiate effectively?

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 16/11/2021 06:48

Leave her and the school alone. Let her settle. Either they will mix the classes next year or someone will have left and, if she wants to, she can go into the other class. But I wouldn’t move her if she’s happy. School at that age should really be about being happy to be there and starting to get interested in learning- nothing more.

Benjispruce5 · 16/11/2021 06:48

It’s bad that they didn’t tell you when you were offered a place. Did you not go and see beforehand? I’d want some reassurance that your child will be given sufficient challenge. It doesn’t make sense for the teachers to not meet her needs with work etc and is not in their interest. By Y1 they will all move on together anyway.

Clutterbugsmum · 16/11/2021 07:21

but now I’m worried about the academic aspect

The only thing that is going to ruin your DD academic School life is you.

If you keep moving her every term then she will never be anything other then the new child.

Let you child stay at the school she is in, so she can flourish and learn.

Oh and by the way Mary has probably already been chosen for the Christmas Play before you get your knickers in a twist about that.

FreeBritnee · 16/11/2021 07:25

You let a five year old dictate which school they go to? That’s your job surely 🥴

MissCruellaDeVil · 16/11/2021 07:28

You're complaining that she's been put in a reception class...
How could you possibly know they're "less able"?

MissCruellaDeVil · 16/11/2021 07:30

@Benjispruce5

It’s bad that they didn’t tell you when you were offered a place. Did you not go and see beforehand? I’d want some reassurance that your child will be given sufficient challenge. It doesn’t make sense for the teachers to not meet her needs with work etc and is not in their interest. By Y1 they will all move on together anyway.
I picked my Mary and Joseph at the start of the year!
yikesanotherbooboo · 16/11/2021 07:33

Try to change the narrative away from 'liking ' school if you possibly can. We all want our DC to be happy but you are setting them up to fail if you paint it as a fun place that one should love. I 'loved school' and was successful but what I really liked was the routine and seeing my friends, not chemistry or lacrosse.
School is for learning academically, physically and socially.
If she is settled she will thrive barring an extreme situation.Academics are moot at her age please stop over analysing if you can and let her thrive and relax.

Stormsy · 16/11/2021 07:34

How do you know they are less able? Did you ask all their parents what reading level they're on?

Kids are forced into formal education far too early. I'd be thrilled with this!

biscuitbadger · 16/11/2021 07:48

She's happy, she loves it, let her be.

Are there multiple classes in each year group? If so, they'll probably move the kids around as they go up the school anyway, especially if she is really far ahead of the other kids. Trust the school.

As a parent of now secondary age kids, this kind of thing does feel like a big deal at that age but really it's not.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 16/11/2021 07:53

Her loving it is all that matters. Especially in reception class.

My son is in an ‘academic’ outstanding state reception class and they learn 2 phonic sounds a week and nothing else. He’s loving it. They have a whole lifetime to learn and anyway they learn through playing.

I would chill out

Theblacksheepandme · 16/11/2021 08:13

I have one child and was always a firm believer in just getting on with things. Unless there were genuine problems like very bad bullying etc. I was the same and still am that the school only see me for parent teacher meetings. There were some parents that had worn a path to the school. If we don't allow our children to get on with things they are not going to be able to cope in the future. I work in a large office environment which means I could be put in any department. I have loved working in some and hated others but I just had to get on with it. We can teach these lessons early in life to our children. I really don't like the labels of first child and only child as they really are preconceptions. Believe me the preconceptions of an only child don't fit into what my child is like.

StevieNicksscarf · 16/11/2021 08:23

Hope you're going to send her to private school when she's 11 otherwise she might end up being taught with those pesky "less able" kids. How very dare they expect an education. Think you belong back in the 1970s Angry

ThinWomansBrain · 16/11/2021 08:29

@shouldistop

Are you worried that people will think your child is less able because of the class she's in ?
just make sure she's taken off her lanyard before you take her in the supermarket Grin
gogohm · 16/11/2021 08:52

Chill, she's 4. My dd didn't start school until year 1 due to international school difference and moving! Buy/borrow suitable books as that the main academic task for the year, you can also find the high frequency words that they target on the curriculum website. Finally we bought magazines (publish by the bbc) which had practice writing, letter tracing etc not sure if it still exists, had CBeebies characters in it. She started in the September of year 1 reading and writing

TonytheDog · 16/11/2021 13:52

So she was only in her old school for 2 months? Why didn't you give it a bit longer, most children don't settle in fully until Easter. She's 4! Please don't move her again.
You said in your OP that you wanted to prioritise happiness over academics so why are you now worried about her academic achievement? Just let her settle and be happy for goodness sake.

TickyTacky · 16/11/2021 17:21

Oh no, not your precious first born in with children who are less able?! What will this do to her university prospects?
Either get a grip on reality or pay for private schooling.

TickyTacky · 16/11/2021 17:24

Also, as a parent of two children - one of those being 'less able'. The most important thing you can do is encourage social integration. I'd recommend not telling other class parents that you were horrified that your child had to share the classroom with their children though.

Yogalola · 16/11/2021 17:29

The last thing you want to do is move schools again, and definitely don’t keep complaining to the new school. Let your child settle in and her teacher get to know her. Surely she is in the right class for her age group, sounds like you are trying to bump her up a class? I

Pearshaped20 · 16/11/2021 17:30

Tbh of i had had the opportunity to have a second child I would really not have got so hung up on education at this age. My son went to quite a pro academic infant school, at the time I thought was good for him. In hindsight I wish I had sent to a different school that focused much more on the child as a whole rather than can they learn all their year 2 words by the end of year 1, so much pressure. Let her enjoy school IMHO there is plenty of time for learning later

SallyWD · 16/11/2021 17:32

I really wouldn't worry. At 4 this is fine. They'll all catch up with each other soon enough. In most countries children don't even start school until they're 6 so just try and relax.

MeredithGreyishblue · 16/11/2021 17:37

@TickyTacky

Oh no, not your precious first born in with children who are less able?! What will this do to her university prospects? Either get a grip on reality or pay for private schooling.
This! I know it's hard when you're new to schools but you'll back at this and roll.your eyes at yourself.
angela99999 · 16/11/2021 17:38

@LivingInTheTrumanShow

She came out of the new school saying mummy I absolutely loved it! It does feel like a really nurturing environment much more than the previous school but now I’m worried about the academic aspect.
For heaven's sake, "academic aspect", just how old is she?! She has plenty of time before she leaves primary school to learn everything she needs to learn. A good teacher will notice if a child is getting through her work fast and will give her extra work anyway. PLEASE don't move the poor child again.
BiscoffAnythingIsTheWayForward · 16/11/2021 17:38

They should have made you aware of this before starting so you could make the choice as parent. That being said and as a mother of 3 boys who have been in mixed age group classes, please don’t stress over this. She’s literally at the start of her academic life. This will not be at all detrimental to her but moving her again could be. If she’s happy then that’s what matters at this age. Let her play and learn and enjoy herself until year 1 starts. If it’s anything like my boys primary school they’re likely to mix the activities with the older reception children anyway.

ChelleMum85 · 16/11/2021 17:39

@LivingInTheTrumanShow

DD not happy at current school - is an Estyn Outstanding out of catchment. Children are just miserable but the results are obviously great.

Decided DD happiness is worth more than anything so rang our catchment school agreed they had a place in reception. Great! Put the in year transfer request in, accepted the place.

Turn up at new school DD has been put in the reception/nursery class! Asked why this was and was told that the reception class was full!

What’s worse is the reception students in the nursery/reception class are summer born or less able!

My DD is a winter baby and very very forward, is reading and doing KS1 maths already. Is there anything I can do now? I spoke to the head who was adamant the reception class is already full, it was filled in September!

I want to move schools again asap AIBU?? or do I see how it goes and have faith that her class teacher will differentiate effectively?

Stop with the "My child is better than your child" act. Nobody needs to know, nor cares. You sound like a precious twit and will end up with no parent friends.

Your child will be performing at her level. Less able children are disabled children- I think it's disgusting you have put it this way, in fact it makes you down right facetious.

Stop dragging your daughter about like a show pony in need of better dressage, or like you she will be posturing in front of friends and one of them will end up lamping her in the future.

My God's do some of you on here grind my gears.

Bobbins36 · 16/11/2021 17:40

4 years old FGS relax. Let her go to school, make some friends and play. Really doesn’t matter if she’s doing KS1 maths or not. Well not to her anyway, sound like it’s huge for you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread