To be upset that people comment on how big my baby is

[taylorwilde]

First time poster here, please be kind!

I had a beautiful baby girl 9 weeks ago. All through the pregnancy my bump was absolutely enormous and people commented daily about how large my bump was. "Are you sure it's just one in there", "You have been eating for two". I actually wasn't overeating at all due to difficulties reflux and I reverted to my usual size relatively quickly after the birth. I think I became quite sensitive - as I really was bombarded daily with an extraordinary number of unsolicited comments about the large size of my bump - although I always laughed them off ( I work in a different setting each day of the week which exacerbated the situation).

DD was born at 4kg (9 pounds) and she was in the 91st centile for size. My husband and I are absolutely besotted with her. She's continued to grow very quickly and at 2 months old she weighs 6kg, (she remains in the 91st centile). She's grown out of 0-3 clothes and some of the smaller fitting 3-6 month clothes are quite a snug fit already. For added context we formula feed her and feed on demand. Babies on DH's side of the family are usually born big and the adults are all quite tall.

AIBU (or too sensitive) to be upset by comments people make about her size ("She's awfully big", "She looks 5 months old already"). Should I be worried about her weight?

Babies on DH's side of the family are usually born big and the adults are all quite tall.

91st percentile for both means that she's perfectly in proportion so yes, Yabu but I mean that kindly.

It doesn't mean that she will be grow up overweight. My dd was born 4kg and is 5 foot 8 size 6 which is what my height (but sadly not my weight) is.

Have a think of some jokey comebacks. She's almost weaning age so you can probably come up with some good good ones 😉

Are the people making comments older generation? Big babies were considered a good thing

It's just small talk. There's not much to say about babies so size is a frequent topic!

I took it as a compliment and reacted as such! DS was 10lb11 so I did get it quite a bit, 97th centile I think, which he's still on, or very near and he's 3.

But she is big. It’s not nasty, it’s an observation.

I had an 11lb baby with a full head of hair. He looked like a 3 month old. I had a stream of midwives the next day asking ‘can we see the giant baby?’

My babies are always huge I love a chunky baby - bet she's adorable! There's not much to really say at the newborn stage so people often comment on size, feeding and sleep. Don't worry about it!

I've had one who chunked up rapidly and one who's tiny. Trust me it's better having a lovely healthy chubby baby. People are just observing, in almost all cases it's a compliment.

Ds2 was a huge baby. About 10lbs. I found a lot of peoples 'small talk' about it quite rude tbh. I had a few people look me up and down, ask me if id given birth naturally etc. Jokey hints about massive vaginas etc.

I had the same comments as you when pregnant and also about my DC. I just took them as compliments, that my milk was doing a great job

We have a chunky baby in the family. She’s beautiful and we love her chubbiness! I’d be surprised if it was an insult.

My son was the same. 9lb at birth and had doubled his birth weight by the time he was about 3.5 months 😂

FWIW he’s now 7 and he’s so slender and lithe (despite eating like a horse) that I worry about how thin he is and trousers have to be tightened to their fullest extent to keep them up.

Plus big chubby babies are the best

Mine was 6lb and I got a contact stream of ‘he’s half the size of other babies in here’ (on maternity ward). He was also 2nd percentile for weight. I’m 5’3” and husband not much taller. I ate like a pig in late pregnancy but gained less than 2 stone and was back in my size 10 jeans within 2 weeks so was paranoid people would think I underage and that was why he came out small. Healthy babies come in all shapes and sizes but at least people won’t think you starved yours!

Constant

Ds 2 was born weighing nearly 10lb. He never looked like a new born. Everyone told me how big he was, how long he was etc. And he was. It really doesn't matter. He's 8 now, still tall but skinny. I don't think its meant as an insult.

* But she is big. It’s not nasty, it’s an observation.*

^This. Everyone loves a big baby

DS was 4.77kg (10lb 5oz) and 97% for height and off the chart for head size. I'm pretty petite and I had endless comments about it. Also I had a section and I got lots of people saying to not have more children as they would be even bigger.

It really upset me as I was struggling after the birth and I felt ridiculous for having such a big baby. I skirted close to PND and I felt like everyone was laughing at me.

Then I realised the ones who made most comments had small babies and that their comments often came out of anxiety around that. Which made me feel more detached from their comments.

I mean this in a kind way - you need to stop paying the comments any attention. Your daughter won't remember them and they aren't important.

Now if anyone asks about how big my children were at birth (increasingly rarely now as DS is 17) I just tell them and say that I was just very good at growing babies

Well done to you and your baby! She sounds nice and healthy. I don’t think you’d find a qualified professional showing any concern about a baby like your daughter. Baby clothes aren’t much of an indicator my baby was bang on 50th centile but long and thin with v long legs so he didn’t always fit average baby clothes either. She may be taller when she’s older but not necessarily. All it means for now is she is healthy and thriving.

As for comments- if someone makes a comment about her size say something about how gorgeous her little cheeks or thighs are. I think most people make idle chitchat but I bet you 9.99/10 will join you in admiring a bit of chub on your baby!

Oh and at 17 DS is a bit over 6 foot and skinny as a rake - solid muscle with no fat on him. By no means the talllest boy in his year!

Yabu, I'm sure no one means anything unpleasant by it. Most people find a chubby little baby delightful especially when they have Michelin man rolls on their arms and legs

People comment on babies. It´s not a negative comment, merely an accurate observation and not insulting, so yes, you´re being oversensitive.

People always comment on babies.

My first was a tiny 5lbs at 38 weeks (various pregnancy issues), she was 12lbs at a year old.

My second was 7lbs at 39 weeks and was 12lbs by 12 weeks old.

Of course I then got comments that I’d either underfed DD1 or overfed DD2.

On the flip side, I had quite an average baby but she didn't grow very fast and was always quite "slim". The worst comment I ever had was another mum saying when she was 9 months old "I don't think mine was ever that small, even when newborn" which I laughed off but for fucks sake. Just say they're cute!

They're just making conversation.

My eldest grew so fast anyone would think I fed him on compost.

Everyone remarked up on his size and I agreed, because it was true.

*upon

I love chunky babies - be proud! All 4 of mine have been massive babies and are all perfectly average kids /teens.
A friend had a baby so big that he was featured in the local paper - she loved it! It’s kind of nice to celebrate it I think