To be upset that people comment on how big my baby is

[taylorwilde]

First time poster here, please be kind!

I had a beautiful baby girl 9 weeks ago. All through the pregnancy my bump was absolutely enormous and people commented daily about how large my bump was. "Are you sure it's just one in there", "You have been eating for two". I actually wasn't overeating at all due to difficulties reflux and I reverted to my usual size relatively quickly after the birth. I think I became quite sensitive - as I really was bombarded daily with an extraordinary number of unsolicited comments about the large size of my bump - although I always laughed them off ( I work in a different setting each day of the week which exacerbated the situation).

DD was born at 4kg (9 pounds) and she was in the 91st centile for size. My husband and I are absolutely besotted with her. She's continued to grow very quickly and at 2 months old she weighs 6kg, (she remains in the 91st centile). She's grown out of 0-3 clothes and some of the smaller fitting 3-6 month clothes are quite a snug fit already. For added context we formula feed her and feed on demand. Babies on DH's side of the family are usually born big and the adults are all quite tall.

AIBU (or too sensitive) to be upset by comments people make about her size ("She's awfully big", "She looks 5 months old already"). Should I be worried about her weight?

I had one who was 99th centile for length (and is now 6'4" at 15) and one who was 11lb2 and looked about 3 months old when he was born. He's now on the tall side of average, broad (but not fat) and plays rugby. I don't do petite babies, clearly.
Best not to be too sensitive about it because people tend not to mean any harm but I can get how it's annoying when they constantly state the obvious!

Agree with others, a big baby isn't an insult, it's generally seen as a sign of them being happy and healthy. My second was a big baby, I got a lot of comments but I didn't sense that they were meant as criticism. He is 10 now and small for his age, and gets lots of comments about that too! People just comment on stuff, normally without meaning anything by it.

I understand because I was the same but it's just you being sensitive. Mine was 'he looks like a little adult', 'he looks much older' because he was thin and didn't have the typical baby fat. I love his shape but at the time was worried he was underfed and thought people were saying he wasn't lovely and cute because he wasn't chubby. Of course they weren't saying that, and I've been guilty of going "oooh look at those lovely chubby cheeks/legs/whatever" to other people's. It's just conversation.

@MarshmallowSwede

Fat babies are happy babies. A big baby is not bad at all. It’s healthy and perfectly fine for your baby to be “big”.

Skinny babies are also happy babies!

My first three were teeny. My newborn grandson weighed 4 pounds 12 and was born at 36 weeks.

I got comments all the time on how tiny mine were. A few rude comments as well. Mostly people just comment on size because there isn't much else to say.

I love skinny babies and chubby ones.

I was told all my babies were chubby...bottlefed...absolutely hellish colic for months... still chubby... at 1 year old...then took to their feet... lost all the chubby....and I was told they were too thin...did they not eat very well...
People cant resist commenting... it make them feel important.. like you give a damn about their opinions.. you know your baby better than ANYONE... smile and ignore....

Babies come in all shapes and sizes. DD who we were obviously besotted with came out at 7.10lb (unhelpful last community midwife appointment 'I will put money on you having a huge baby'-lovely when you are hearing up to push them out). She was breast fed, chunky, her dedicated nursery worker when I went back to work at 12 months professed to 'love the chunky ones''. Then at 13 months she started walking and running around and turned from baby chunk into lithe toddler, then child. Honestly, if you have a fit healthy baby and health professionals are not concerned it is a non-issue. Just enjoy and focus your energy on what matters.

My first baby was large for gestational age. I am slim, 5'3, my bump measurement indicated a 5/6lb baby. The midwives were shocked when an 8lb 13oz baby fell out of me - she was big, but has grown up to be slim and beautiful with blue eyes and long blonde hair.

How anyone could ever say anything like that about a baby is cruel.

I'm glad I had a big baby, she wasn't so fragile!!

I'm currently pregnant and being told again, that my baby is going to be small... I've had two children 8lb 8 and 8lb 13 I just roll my eyes 🙄🙄

My 2nd son, now 37(!) was 10lbs 13oz. I'm 5ft 1, so he was exceptionally big. I had the same comments and stares (even from the nurses in hospital as they hadn't seen such a large newborn. He was 23 inches long. He's now 5ft 10, slim and handsome

I was (still am) proud of myself for having a normal birth. Enjoy your baby, ignore any comments.

My daughter was almost 10lb! She looked 3 months old when she was born, I loved how sturdy and chunky she was! She is now 6 and is tall but not overweight, don't worry.

DS is similarly huge. I've only ever had positive comments on his size. I love that he's big and strong. I think you're being a bit sensitive

She is a big baby that’s not a bad thing my son is the same. I would probably get new clothes in 6-9 months tho if your squeezeing her in to ones that are “quite snug” it probably won’t be comfy for her.

I completely get where you are coming from because not everyone means it nicely or without judgement. I had a very chunky boy who was 97th centile for ages. He looked rather like the Michelin man! But he was running kicking a football at 9 months, he just turned two and although he is very tall for his age and is in 3-4 years clothing - he is no longer chunky and is just him. Unfortunately you can’t stop other people commenting but do try to ignore it. My go to response is ‘yes he is, he will be taller than me at 12’

Mum of two big babies, son 10lb 2 and daughter two weeks premature 8lb 9 ...

I had some horrid insensitive remarks made , please don't worry about this , enjoy your beautiful healthy baby now .
My son is now a strapping 6 foot 7 handsome 20 year old , not remotely fat and a bit of a heart throb even though I say so myself . My daughter now 15 is a stunning 5 foot ten and has a figure to die for . Neither are obese , but I'm ridiculously proud that I made two healthy fine human beings .
Please enjoy your baby for the gorgeous healthy child you made xxxxx

It's a compliment! Some can't help but have weak, sickly, thin babies, others can produce chubby, healthy round babies.

If you hear it again say, I know, I am so fortunate to have a bonny, healthy baby aren't I? As not all mothers are as lucky!

I had similar. I was massive when preg due to gestational diabetes, I still remember 1 colleague in particular going on and on about my size. It’s hard not to take that badly.

Had lots of comments on size of baby after the birth, as she was big, but I didn’t feel sensitive about them and took it as a compliment (perhaps as I also have experience of an underweight premmie baby so tend to view “large baby” comments as a compliment).

I know it’s tough but best to try to ignore the comments and focus on your lovely baby. You’ll look back on it in a year or so and not feel so strongly about the comments, I promise. Xx

I totally understand! My daughter was born 10lb 14 oz (she's 10 weeks today and now 13lb 10 oz)- I've been asked if I had undiagnosed gestational diabetes or if I'm over feeding her multiple times (I'm breastfeeding!)
I just ignore it. I'm super proud my milk is growing a gorgeous baby! At least I don't have to sorry that she is underweight

Also now I’m past the baby stage I actually forgot all about this sensitivity I had to “size” comments and recently told a friend she had a tiny bump 🤭 then i remembered she has a medical condition meaning she is prone to having small/underweight kids. Felt awful. 😰

People who aren’t pregnant or haven’t recently had a baby just aren’t as careful about size comments 😬🤭

@EnidFrighten

Yabu, I'm sure no one means anything unpleasant by it. Most people find a chubby little baby delightful especially when they have Michelin man rolls on their arms and legs

My little ones ridiculous arm 🙈

She’s bloody massive. She weighs an absolute tonne. Breastfed on demand. People comment all the time. Couldn’t give a shit, she’s absolutely glorious with her rolls.

Unfortunately rude people often feel compelled to give you their unsolicited opinion on pregnancy, birth, and the size of your baby right through to around the time they start school.
I have RBF so didn't get too many remarks but did get a bit snappy with a woman who once asked of my 2 month old DC "What is IT?"
I explained that "it" was a baby and that I was surprised that she didn't know.
She elaborated that she didn't know if it was a boy or a girl because it was in a blue babygrow, but that the pink flowers 'were confusing'.
I said that it was a girl but I was hoping that she'd grow up to be a lesbian, hence the blue.
She looked at me as if I was the rude one.

I didn't have a massive bump but had an 8lb 13oz baby who was quite long. He has remained tall and stocky, currently in 5-6 clothing at 3.5 years old. When he was 4 months he was in 9-12 month clothing.

Everyone that meets him comments on how tall he is. He's on the 98th centile for height and off the top of the chart for weight. However, I'm 5'9" and my husband is 6' so he was destined to be tall really.

The worst part about it is that because he's so big people think he's older than what he is and expect more from him.

I had a baby like that I loved the comments because it meant SLEEP!!!

I also had a very small baby and felt rage when people asked me if I was feeding him enough. Of course I was he was just slight (25th percentile for weight and 80 for height then and now!).

Interested to know how your little one has grown up? Has she stayed 91st?

I have a little one 11 weeks and could have written your post. People love to make comments!

My 10lb chonky baby is now 6ft2