To be upset that people comment on how big my baby is

[taylorwilde]

First time poster here, please be kind!

I had a beautiful baby girl 9 weeks ago. All through the pregnancy my bump was absolutely enormous and people commented daily about how large my bump was. "Are you sure it's just one in there", "You have been eating for two". I actually wasn't overeating at all due to difficulties reflux and I reverted to my usual size relatively quickly after the birth. I think I became quite sensitive - as I really was bombarded daily with an extraordinary number of unsolicited comments about the large size of my bump - although I always laughed them off ( I work in a different setting each day of the week which exacerbated the situation).

DD was born at 4kg (9 pounds) and she was in the 91st centile for size. My husband and I are absolutely besotted with her. She's continued to grow very quickly and at 2 months old she weighs 6kg, (she remains in the 91st centile). She's grown out of 0-3 clothes and some of the smaller fitting 3-6 month clothes are quite a snug fit already. For added context we formula feed her and feed on demand. Babies on DH's side of the family are usually born big and the adults are all quite tall.

AIBU (or too sensitive) to be upset by comments people make about her size ("She's awfully big", "She looks 5 months old already"). Should I be worried about her weight?

-It’s a factual observation because she is bigger than average
-Generally it’s a compliment as a big baby is typically seen as a good thing because in her olde times it was seen as a sign of good health
-People feel they have to say something and there isn’t a great deal you can say about such a young baby with big versus small or hair versus bald being pretty much it

You’re being wayyyy over sensitive!

In the kindest way OP you need to get a thicker skin. You can't win as a parent and it's best to give up caring about what people say right from the beginning.
If you have a big chonky baby people will be "concerned" the baby is too fat.
If you have a teeny tiny skinny one, they'll be "concerned" that something is wrong with your baby or the way you're feeding it.
If your baby sleeps through the night or wakes several times a night until they're 2 the "concern" will continue and so it goes on. People will express their opinion of how you clothe, feed and generally parent your child even if, especially if, they haven't got a clue about children.
Smile and nod.

I was huge too while pregnant and one guest to our house said she was shocked at how big I was and had the midwife spoken to me about it. ( I was in normal range). This made my cry actually because I’m a size 16 and i associate comments about size / weight with all types of negative things that are not related to babies. My DD when born was 75th on the centile chart for weight but leapt to 99th after some feeding issues were resolved. She’s now 9 and although a proper hamster cheeks as a baby is now tall and slim When people make comments about big babies it’s not a criticism. Babies with little leg creases and podgy cheeks are adorable.

((HUG))

As a society we're conditioned to think big issues a euphemism for fat & as women were conditioned to think fat is bad. So it's no wonder you're upset, BUT babies need fat & to grow well, it's really a compliment or just a comment because there's not a lot to say about a baby!!

My god daughter has just had her second daughter - the first was a tiny wee thing with little wee 'chicken' legs & this one was born heavier than her big sister was for months! She has the most delicious 'thunder thighs'

Both the girls are a complete joy and gorgeous! I'm sure your DD is too, when people say 'big' hear 'heathy/thriving/gorgeous' x

There’s really only so much you can say about a baby.

And she is big. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’m sure she is lovely.

Try not to take it to heart. People generally aren't being unkind-they just comment on size of a baby regardless.

My son was 9lb 6oz at birth so always a big baby. At 7, he is the tallest in his class but skinny, just like his dad.

People still comment on his size 'oh he is tall!'. Erm, yes, he is but his dad is 6ft 2! I think they are just shocked when they see him alone with me because I am a tiny 5ft 2.

I said YABU but mean it with kindness, your baby is healthy and sounds like a cutie pie. Enjoy those lovely squishy cheeks and don't take the comments to heart.
My sibling has a big baby too, at 18m when started walking people thought he was nearly 3yr!!?
Just love and dote on her so she grows up happy and confident with her size.

FYI i was close to 10lbs and as an adult am 5ft 2inch only and size 6-8 pre pregnancy. My mum got the same sh*t you did and we often laugh at how i turned out

@ADialgaAteMyDog

On the flip side, I had quite an average baby but she didn't grow very fast and was always quite "slim". The worst comment I ever had was another mum saying when she was 9 months old "I don't think mine was ever that small, even when newborn" which I laughed off but for fucks sake. Just say they're cute!

Someone actually laughed when they saw my newborn son and said he looked like Skeletor and accused me of not feeding him. Strangely enough she doesn’t laugh or even acknowledge him now he’s taller than her (older) son and more developmentally advanced.

Honestly people are just making small talk. Just forget about it.

I had that with my DS (first born) He was 98' percentile height and almost in weight. Straight into 0-3m and grew out of them quickly and looked like giant baby compared to others.
He's over 6 foot 3 now
I'm tall.

I used to reply to people "Yes we are a tall family, so I'd be surprised if he was small!"

I was 9lbs when I was born and I was a total chunker, you should see the photos 😂 but as a child was always slim and as an adult a size 10, still after 2 kids. My two were 8lbs+ and are slim now as kids. All of us breastfed. Your baby is not fat or overweight, there’s no such thing at this stage and it’s honestly nothing to worry about. And I agree with PP that most people probably aren’t meaning it as a negative anyway. Everyone loves a chunky baby!

People constantly comment on the size of my DS (small). I feel the need to joke and say I do feed him you know! It’s annoying but I think people are just making conversation…

My last baby was 10lb at birth and 11lb 10oz about 4 weeks old, and he was EBF on demand. He was massive, I remember one woman I met at the park calling her husband over to "have a look at the size of this baby" because he was about twice the size of their baby but a month younger!

Anyway by 6m he'd evened out a bit and by 12m he was perfectly average sized, where he's stayed ever since.

Your baby sounds adorable, just enjoy her and try to ignore the comments. People just like to say something and all sorts of inane drivel comes out at times!

I have a 12 week old, she was 9.7oz when born and is 13lb now. EBF on demand.

No one has really mentioned her being big, the occasional comment - certainly not regularly.

Please do not worry about the weight of your perfectly healthy 9 week old.

My ds2 was the same. Born 9lb and remained on the 91st centile. I have no idea what centile he is now (nearly 3) but he’s not overly big now. Maybe taller than average but perfectly in proportion. I got a lot of comments when he was a baby too. It’s just one of those things really, people always have to comment on something and it’s usually size. Just take it as a compliment she’s healthy and thriving.

Everyone makes comments about bumps and babies. Most of the time, it's unwanted and unhelpful, but people mean no harm. Everyone used to go on about how small my youngest twin was and how big my eldest twin was by comparison (they were 25th and 50th percentile, respectively.

I used to get that for my now 13 year old, drove me mad 🤣

I have the opposite, my DD is on the 9th centile and everyone feels the need to comment on how small she is. I got very paranoid that I wasnt feeding her enough or something was wrong with her because of all the comments but my HV reassured me she was following her percentile line nicely and not to worry. The normal range is wide!!

Try not to let it get to you!

Fat babies are happy babies. A big baby is not bad at all. It’s healthy and perfectly fine for your baby to be “big”.

A big baby is a good thing, people are being positive.

I had a 9.3 ds and a prem one at 4.12. Bigger ds was much less of a worry!!
Any bug /cold /bout of a bad tummy they can easy spare a pound or 2! Small ones have you worried about every ounce lost!!

Stop worrying! If she’s following the centile line then she’s the right size for her. I have a huge not-quite-3yo who’s on the 97th centile for height and loads of people comment on how tall he is.

I bet she's delicious. I don't really know why people like to comment on babies size

People are always going to comment... you'll need to just breathe through it or come up with some witty comments.

My daughter is 2.5 she's still in 9-12 month clothing and is just over 9kg. I get it all the time about how small she is etc etc it does become tiresome, but it is true!

My 30 week gestation preemie weighed 3 lbs at birth and I'd have given nearly anything for a big and healthy baby but we all have to play the hands we are dealt!