Dumped by driving instructor

[Zigzaggingmysterytour]

DD1 is learning to drive. She has dyspraxia and adhd so finds things a bit more challenging than most. She’s had quite a few lessons and seemed to be turning a corner. It’s very much an instructor’s market out there and out of the blue she (instructor) calls up and says that DD isn’t performing well and she isnt sure she’s the one to continue with her. She then suggested a break - we all know what that means. When we were not forthcoming to cancel the prepaid lessons we’d booked she went away to check if any of her instructor mates could help. Surprise surprise- no they can’t. So now DD is going to be trying to find another instructor when they are in a shortage and it’s completely knocked her confidence. She’s saying she will just give up driving. My girl has already had a harder time than a lot of her peers and I just wish that this once she could have had something that she was just as good at. As a side note so as not to drip feed, the instructor isn’t awfully local to us and has to travel to pick DD up, petrol is rising and I think she has other youngsters nearer her home wanting lessons. Would I be unreasonable to think that DD’s sudden so called inability is a nice excuse to ditch her for nearer students?

Is she refunding you?

It's possible but to be honest, if she feels she can't progress your daughter then she's done the right thing, instead of just continuing to take her money.

Has she offered a refund? I found when driving the first few lessons were useful plus a couple at the end before the test. Could you get her insured on your car and just do local journeys to build her confidence up?

Is she trying to tell you that your DD is not getting on well and perhaps should not be driving just yet? Worth having a proper talk with the instructor to find out what her concerns are.

I think it would be worth talking to the instructor to find out what the problem is. If she isn't making progress perhaps a break would be a good idea. Driving lessons aren't cheap.

Yes she would be giving a refund but it’s impossible out there to find a replacement instructor at the moment. I am just so sad for DD. I really didn’t think instructors dumped pupils.

I have Dyspraxia with Dyslexia and my advice is not to bother learning in manual. Go straight to automatic. And make sure she practices in your car everyday (even if she’s just driving 10 mins some days) because learning by doing makes things stick. I also find labelling left and right on my dashboard & using those sticky mirrors that go on your side mirrors so you can see more to park really useful. It also helps if you’re closer to the steering wheel - helps you concentrate.

It’s so important to that instructor and pupil “click”. Instructor clearly thinks things aren’t working so it really is better for them to part ways rather than carrying on

@Beachybeach That’s what I am thinking of doing. I had hoped she would be a bit more advanced before we practiced together but needs must!

Sorry I pressed send to early. I do, however, think that with Dyspraxia getting the basics sorted yourself before going to an instructor can save a lot of stress and embarrassment. It took me ages to even turn left / right without climbing the kerb - had I done so with an instructor they probably would have written me off!!

I agree with @Ozanj I was dumped by my driving instructor and I passed in an automatic first time!

@Ozanj Thank you I was wondering about automatic. Electric cars which we are moving towards anyway are all auto. I guess it’s that one less thing to think about/coordinate The bummer is that there are even less auto instructors than manual.

I agree that's awful and no doubt would knock anyones confidence. Unfortunately I don't think continuing with an instructor who doesn't want to teach your DD will be good for her either. It sounds like she's going to have to switch instructors. Terrible that her instructor has put her in that position.

I agree with PPs that automatic might be a good way to go? Manual cars are supposedly going to be phased out in this country in the next few decades anyway. Might be something to consider? It's definitely much harder when you're learning and have to spend most of your brain power driving the car as opposed to looking at the road.

@mannytomanny That’s great to know. Thank you

Even more important with adhd that she has a supportive instructor.

I didn't know about the adhd when I learnt to drive but I know I don't process instructions like go left & right quickly. So it does extra focus. If I'm ever getting instructions now, I get them to point in the direction of the instruction as well. That sort of thing. Tell her not to give up, she'll be ok. No radio or other distractions tho until she's confident.

Require is the missing word there.

@WindyWindsor You’re right. If she doesn’t want to teach DD it won’t be good. I just feel wounded on DD behalf and annoyed it’s now left us right in the lurch.

Dd got dumped by her instructor as well, this was a few years ago. Dumped twice actually. He refused to take her out again after the first lesson until she had an eyesight test. Which was fine. Then he just disappeared again a bit later, midway through a block. I never got my money back.

Dd had a break but then started again this time in an automatic….she’s also dyspraxic. Passed her test first time. Had a much better instructor second time.

@Wombat49 Thank you. I’m so glad to read others do understand and to hear from people who have similar conditions

I think she is being diplomatic but at the same time honest. She would not want to recommend anyone else as how would she know if your daughter would get on with other instructors?

My daughter swapped and changed instructors when she was learning so it works both ways I am afraid

@CovidCorvid It’s horrible isn’t it. Glad your DD managed better in an auto. Thinking that’s the way forward

[quote Zigzaggingmysterytour]@Ozanj Thank you I was wondering about automatic. Electric cars which we are moving towards anyway are all auto. I guess it’s that one less thing to think about/coordinate The bummer is that there are even less auto instructors than manual.[/quote]
Auto would be easy enough to get her pass ready in yourself if you can get your hands on one. Get those how to pass sets with practical and theory advice. Lol my DH read the book back to front & created lesson plans for me. When I was ready I then booked in with an instructor but I was test ready in his car tbh.

Yes Electric cars are are all automatic. I personally wouldn’t bother with manual.
And for the person who said manual cars are going to phased out in the next few decades, I tell them that driving all together will be phased out in the next decade. We are heading towards automation.

@Zigzaggingmysterytour

Yes she would be giving a refund but it’s impossible out there to find a replacement instructor at the moment. I am just so sad for DD. I really didn’t think instructors dumped pupils.

'Dumped' is a pretty emotive word

But yes, if an instructor thinks there's no chance of the pupil progressing with them and they're an honest person, they won't (or shouldn't) continue to take their money.

Some more unscrupulous instructors would see pupils like that as their 'bread and butter' though, and continue to teach them knowing they're really not helping.

I learnt to drive in an auto as I hated trying to work out the gears and look where I was going at the same time. It’s not restricted me at all. I love driving an automatic.

I dumped my instructor as he was an arse on the day of the driving test despite being lovely throughout all my lessons. I failed, and I partly blame him for making me so on edge that day.

My husband finished teaching me and I passed easily on the day of my test, in my own car. It can be done.

You could teach her yourself in combination with lots of learning material you can find online; there’s tons of handy videos on YouTube. There’s a good website called Driving Test Tips. I lot of what I learnt was self-taught. For reference, I only passed last year.