Dumped by driving instructor

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DD1 is learning to drive. She has dyspraxia and adhd so finds things a bit more challenging than most. She’s had quite a few lessons and seemed to be turning a corner. It’s very much an instructor’s market out there and out of the blue she (instructor) calls up and says that DD isn’t performing well and she isnt sure she’s the one to continue with her. She then suggested a break - we all know what that means. When we were not forthcoming to cancel the prepaid lessons we’d booked she went away to check if any of her instructor mates could help. Surprise surprise- no they can’t. So now DD is going to be trying to find another instructor when they are in a shortage and it’s completely knocked her confidence. She’s saying she will just give up driving. My girl has already had a harder time than a lot of her peers and I just wish that this once she could have had something that she was just as good at. As a side note so as not to drip feed, the instructor isn’t awfully local to us and has to travel to pick DD up, petrol is rising and I think she has other youngsters nearer her home wanting lessons. Would I be unreasonable to think that DD’s sudden so called inability is a nice excuse to ditch her for nearer students?

Definitely consider encouraging your DD to learn to drive an automatic and fine a better instructor.
In a few years the majority of cars on the road will be automatics in any case.
And report the current instructor to their governing body if they won’t refund you.

*find not fine

Here’s how to complain if they don’t refund you:

www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor

It could just be they are being honest and saying they can't help, better that than keep taking her for lessons.

My DS has Dyspraxia with Dyslexia
His driving instructor took him 4 times to do his test he was incredibly patient with him
He also taught my DSS to drive so he had a lot of money from us over a three year period
I agree with getting her to learn in an automatic
My son went through two gearboxes and 3 clutches I think in the space of 3 years 😂😂

Good idea about the automatic car, all cars will be automatic in the future anyway as petrol/diesel cars are phased out.

That’s horrible of the instructor, I hope you leave her a bad review. I thought discrimination on the grounds of disability was illegal? You’d think thought that if your daughter is taking a while to learn she’d keep her as she’d get more money! I reckon it’s more to do with the cost of fuel and the demand for lessons though.

I do think you need to get your DD practising more though. It’s pretty hard to learn if you’re only having a weekly lesson with no practice in between.

Just thought - if you have a little automatic car for DD to practise in, see if you can find an instructor who will teach in your car. That’s what we did with DS, then he didn’t have to keep getting used to a different car, and he took his test in my car too thereby saving money. It just has to be super clean at all times and have an extra stick-on rear view mirror on the passenger side.

First time post, long time lurker. My dchild, Asd, Adhd, passed test v. recently (2nd time, interrupted by Covid). Waited a while for an instructor who has a rep for being good with neurodivergents, v. patient. Worth getting the right person, even if there's a delay. Might be one in your area?

Check with this charity for advice on driving instructors

qef.org.uk/our-services/qef-mobility-services/driving-school

Forgot to add, their instructors are trained in rehabilitation and/or therapists, they have a driving simulation test to help prepare for lessons and can advise on the best type of vehicle or lesson style.

Thank you all so much for your support and advice. I’m looking for auto lessons as we speak

Learning in manual is a big waste of time these days. I spent over a year getting to grips with the clutch and gear control, and as soon as I passed have never needed to drive a manual since.

I think you may be looking at this wrongly. It's hurtful because she's your DD, but from the driving instructors pov it's just one candidate, it's business. It's a business relationship and you can click or not click with your business bank manager, a fitness instructor, a teacher at school you just don't like.

Ds1 recently passed and we gave notice to driving instructor 1. He just wasn't right and when ds got a date for his test, he was all 'oh that's too soon', he needs loads more lessons. Dh and I had taught ds to drive ourselves in lockdown. New instructor said he was a lovely little driver, she cancelled some of his lessons saying he didn't need them, and he passed!

Take a break. Practice lots. Get a new instructor.

Some instructors and students just don't click.

Would you rather she did another 100 lessons with your daughter and just kept taking your money when there's another instructor who could get her there in 30?

Honestly, it's nothing personal.

Have you considered one of those intense courses? They're not great in teaching people how to be a conscientious driver but if she's already had lessons they'll be ok for her.

Another dyspraxic who passed first time in an automatic here. My initial instructor dumped me in a way by swapping me on to his business partner who did automatic lessons. It was done very nicely and I preferred the new instructor and the automatic car, but they didn't initially come clean with me about how he was introduced, which I found out about a lot later and wasn't pleased with! Another little dyspraxia humiliation.

Honestly though, look up automatic instructors near you and see who has recommendations from dyspraxics. You won't look back. Your Dd just needs patience and practice.

I don't have dyspraxia or adhd but still found learning to drive really difficult when I was 17. I was a shy, nervous teenager and it just made me anxious! I had a break from it and tried again in my early twenties when I took to driving like a duck to water and passed my test. A break might not be a bad idea for your daughter OP.

I have dyspraxia I failed my test many times and fineally passed. I have been driving for years now but just got an automatic.

Get your daughter to learn in an automatic.

It must feel horrible for your daughter but her instructor has done her a favour. I had an instructor that wasn't right for me, but kept taking my money. At that age it took me too long to realise I need to change them.

I hope she finds a new one soon, and wish her all the best

Can you take your DD out in your car . You can maybe assess her driving yourself? Then look for a different instructor.

tbh i think it's pretty good of the instructor to do this and not just take your money and your daughter get nowhere.

Obviously it sucks, and is really inconvenient and all the rest, but from the instructor's point of view - and maybe she has stats to keep an eye on? - if she feels she can't get your daughter through the test what do you want her to do?

I wonder if there are instructors who specialise in this kind of thing?

Learning in manual is a big waste of time these days. I spent over a year getting to grips with the clutch and gear control, and as soon as I passed have never needed to drive a manual since.

Well it's not true that it is a waste of time.
As each of my older ones have passed, they have shared my car for a year or so to give them time to save up. My car is manual. If dc3 passes in an automatic then she won't be able to do that.
When you are looking to buy inexpensive cars, automatics ar far and few between. Again, a bit of a handicap for most new drivers.
Once in a relationship, it is pretty common to put your partner on your insurance - again, most cars are manual.
Whenever I've driven minibuses or vans or hire cars they have been manuals.

Don't get me wrong - if it is a way for someone to pass who has otherwise failed to get to grips with driving, then that is great, but there is a whole lot of good reasons to get the full licence if you are able. Not a waste of time at all.