AIBU? If only was you was a girl!

[AIBUboygirlwhocares]

I have five sons. Me and DH are happy with our boys and have never wished for a girl etc.

MIL turned round to my youngest DS today and said "if only you was a girl..." referring to something girly she saw.

AIBU to be annoyed? My poor DS didn't know what to say back.

You should have corrected her grammar.

That's awful. Your poor son. Please do tell her this is not acceptable.

say ‘if only you were a good grandmother’.

I'd have been really angry at that. I hope you said to her "we didn't want DS to be anything other than his wonderful self"

As the last of 5 boys it is possible he might think you would have preferred a girl even though you didn't. to have his grandmother peddle this shit straight to his face is not on.

Wow, All I can say is Lucky you, 5 sons, I always wanted 8 sons, Lol, but had to stop at 2.
Just tell your son Grandma was being silly.
I was often told by a family member that I should have been a boy, not a ginger girl, but because my parents trivialised it, I just thought it was a silly thing to say.

@IncyWinceySpiderWillies

You should have corrected her grammar.

This!

@AIBUboygirlwhocares

I have five sons. Me and DH are happy with our boys and have never wished for a girl etc.

MIL turned round to my youngest DS today and said "if only you was a girl..." referring to something girly she saw.

AIBU to be annoyed? My poor DS didn't know what to say back.

I’d be annoyed by the rudeness but seething at the fact she was modelling such shite grammar.

I get this sort of thing a lot. I have DD followed by 4 DS's. DD in particular got upset when the last 2 were twin boys and her teacher said oh dear! I get so many comments along the lines of "you've got your work cut out" and "poor DD". So rude!

You should have corrected her grammar.

my first thought too. Pity the withering reply wasn't "it's a conditional, it goes with 'were'. Here's an example 'if only you were a better grandma' that's how it works"

What an awful thing to say!

It’s actually a subjunctive.

When I had my 4th child, who was my 3rd son in 3 years, the only thing my MIL said was, oh that's disappointing, I was hoping for a girl. Thankfully, we have practically no contact from her so it hasn't bothered my boys, but If be livid if she dared say something like this to their faces!

I wouldn't be happy.

DH is the younger of two brothers. Over the years MIL hasn't hidden the fact that she would have loved a daughter. Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling that way, but what does piss me off is that it is always directed at DH, as if his elder brother was allowed to be a boy and it was somehow DH"s responsibility as second-born to be the girl.

DH is very laid back and laughs it off but I know it does piss him off.

What a horrible thing to say

My MIL was the opposite, telling me and my girls that she wanted grandsons. Thankfully they were only babies, but it pissed me off.

Aww. Poor little chap and what a mean thing to say. Just ignore her.

Grammar aside, unless she has a fashion for declaring she wishes your children were girls, I couldn't let this bother me. She'd seen something girly and knew your son wouldn't have liked it. Sure, she didn't have to mention it at all, but we all say irrelevant things while making conversation.

@Helpstopthepain

say ‘if only you were a good grandmother’.

Yep.

@stingofthebutterfly

Grammar aside, unless she has a fashion for declaring she wishes your children were girls, I couldn't let this bother me. She'd seen something girly and knew your son wouldn't have liked it. Sure, she didn't have to mention it at all, but we all say irrelevant things while making conversation.

I agree, unless there is massive back story, this was likely just an off the cuff remark.

@IncyWinceySpiderWillies

You should have corrected her grammar.

Was this nasty reply really necessary?

Lots of people use ‘you was’, OP needs actual advice not a smug and glib response.

I’m another one who thinks how lucky you are! I have 3 boys and really wanted to round it up to 4, but never managed to conceive again. And Grandma should thank her lucky stars for her healthy grandchildren.
She needs to be careful what she says in front of the kids, they can easily take off the cuff comments to heart.

What was she thinking of buying? Some pink, glittery shit?
Stop all this gendering of babies and young children.
Encourage your children to try everything and be who they want to be. If that includes pushing a pram and playing with an ironing board then so be it.

My friend had a baby girl many years ago when she was seventeen and her strict religious parents insisted the baby was adopted. Later she married and had two little boys. When the second boy was born, her mother said "Oh, I was really hoping you'd have a little girl!" Friend said she never forgot that hurtful comment.

She was using poor grammar in front of a child, of course you should correct it! Just because some people do something, doesn’t mean it should be accepted.

Well actually there is a back story I have two living sons.
My other three sons died at birth. So you'd think she wouldn't say shit like that and be grateful that my two living boys thrived but hey.
Makes me feel like she wants me to get pregnant for the sake of giving her a grand daughter.

Lots of people use ‘you was’, OP needs actual advice not a smug and glib response

I actually think it’s perfectly reasonable.

The MIL made an unnecessary and barbed comment using incorrect grammar (even if you think ‘loads’ of people might use it, it’s still wrong), it deserves a glib response.