AIBU? If only was you was a girl!

[AIBUboygirlwhocares]

I have five sons. Me and DH are happy with our boys and have never wished for a girl etc.

MIL turned round to my youngest DS today and said "if only you was a girl..." referring to something girly she saw.

AIBU to be annoyed? My poor DS didn't know what to say back.

@Howshouldibehave

Lots of people use ‘you was’, OP needs actual advice not a smug and glib response

I actually think it’s perfectly reasonable.

The MIL made an unnecessary and barbed comment using incorrect grammar (even if you think ‘loads’ of people might use it, it’s still wrong), it deserves a glib response.

How do you know OP doesn’t also use ‘you was’ as part of her regional dialect?

Lots of people use ‘you was’,

Lots of people are wrong.

Are you really going to derail the post about grammar.
Not helpful. It's a regional accent for those whom are concerned.

So so sorry to read your latest op. Bloody hell families, eh ?

I'm sorry for all your posts, to be honest. . The thoughtless comment, the loss of your babies and the trivialising of your experience through language correction.

In what part of the country is 'you was' part of regional dialect?! It's just shit grammar.

@StepAwayFromGoogling

In what part of the country is 'you was' part of regional dialect?! It's just shit grammar.

Jesus christ, have you bothered to read all the OP's posts?

Fuck me, seeing your update I can without a doubt in my mind confirm that your MIL is an absolute cockwomble and she needs to fuck right off.
YANBU!

Depends on what you mean saw something girly.

If she saw a beautiful dress and said to her grandson if only you were a girl it’s a harmless off the cuff comment more related to the dress than the kid. I am quite shocked it’s caused a huge drama. Unless there is a whole evil mil backstory.

@cheeseismydownfall - yep, that's why I'm asking. I studied linguistics at university. There's a lot of appalling use of language that people excuse by saying 'oh, it's regional' when it's not.

My MIL would probably have said something similar. She’s never forgiven me for producing a son and stopping at one. In her mind we could afford more children and she wanted a girl so why didn’t we oblige? (Crippling PND with intrusive, self-harming thoughts mainly.) Instead she has limited herself to complaining that I could have waited a few hours and finished giving birth in the same month as her birthday, rather than late at night on the final day of the preceding month. I’d been in active labour for 20 hours and couldn’t have told you what day if the week it was, never mind the month!

I would have been annoyed too OP. Probably too annoyed to reply!
Apart from being hurtful, what exactly is "girly" anyway? Sexist as well.

Hurtful OP, especially with your history ⚘

Rubbish thing to say and even worse seeing your update. Sorry for your loss

It depends on how old your son is, what his relationship is like with his grandmother, and if she’s usually an arsehole.

Pointing to a frilly tutu and nudging a 10yo and saying, “if only you were a girl” with a big smile and him then laughing and saying, “nooooo - that’s hideous!” (Or a laughing: “hmmmm, I reckon I could rock that as a girl or boy nana, we don’t do sexism now you know 😝”) would just be perfectly normal messing around.

Possibly over reaction?

Definitely the grammar first.

'If only you were a lovely grandmother', sounds like the perfect response. I definitely agree with a PP on that one.
So sorry for your losses.

It would make me livid. I always wondered if my parents wished I was a boy (am youngest of 3 girls). It may have been off the cuff as Pp said but a comment like that from my grandmother would have confirmed what I already feared.

I also have 3 girls and do not appreciate any suggestions we might wish otherwise.

OP needs actual advice not a smug and glib response
What was your good advice to Op?

I’m sorry for your losses, op.

My advice would be to ignore the grammar pedants who clearly have nothing better to do and OP to keep saying ‘you was’ if she wants to.

@IncyWinceySpiderWillies

You should have corrected her grammar.

@AIBUboygirlwhocares

Well actually there is a back story I have two living sons. My other three sons died at birth. So you'd think she wouldn't say shit like that and be grateful that my two living boys thrived but hey. Makes me feel like she wants me to get pregnant for the sake of giving her a grand daughter.

I'm so sorry for your loss, that really makes her comment shitty (it wouldn't have been good either way obviously)

I think I’d pick her up on this and give her an absolute rollicking. What a horrible thing to say to your boy, particularly given it’s her son that has decided the sex of the children.

@WildExcuses

Message deleted by MNHQ.

For the OP to correct her MIL's grammar would have been a perfectly appropriate response to a dimwit, insensitive comment -- I mean, engaging with the actual intent behind the comment would be just depressing.