"I would agree with this comment.
Sometimes either the grandparents forget or they view it all through rose tinted classes. Or sometimes they are just out of the habit of dealing with toddlers.
There may also be other factors at play due to your historical relationshiop with them. Jealousy even.
I had one of my grown up siblings voice criticisms about my toddler even though she had never had kids of her own. No idea of how that tiredness/hungry/unfamiliar environment/excitement thing can play out with toddlers and disrupt their routine, especially on special occasions like Christmas where expectations generally run high anyway with all concerned, and where to be honest there is usually a lot of sweets/sugary food involved which tends to hype them up anyway.
I also used to get a lot of flack for trying to limit their sugar intake on such occasions. Some but not all granparents see it as an act of love to give sweets etc.
Not so much for the parents. I totally noticed throughout DD's younger years that her behaviour was always more hyper when she ate party foods, or too much sugar. Occasionally of course it is fine, but a parent can't be blamed for wanting to stick to a routine because they know it works best.
Outdoors helps. But then again older folks (and I now class myself as one of those) may be reluctant to brave the weather.
With toddlers though, it really helps for them to burn their steam off outdoors...
So as a mum you have got a whole load of different needs going on there and a mismatch.
If you ask me that is where the arguments come from.
Hungry/not right types of foods as Christmas
Expectations (too high on their part and possibly yours_
It's like that thing that people say going on holiday with kids is never a holiday. (Except perhaps if it an extremely child friendly hotel where everything is organised, you can be outdoors and it is a kids club) and adults can have a few hours off.
Just something that looking back on it all I wish I had worked out earlier.
But parenting doesn't come with instructions or a manual. Therefore even more important to exchange on here so that you don't blame yourself.
Just the way toddlers are."
I loved this post @beigebrownblue
Yes, it's a big mismatch. And it's upsetting when as a mum you're doing overtime to try to make it all work, based on all your near-invisible knowledge about what your children need and like and think and feel, and all you get is criticism when the wheels come off.
YANBU OP.
I really hope if/when I'm a grandparent I'll be able to acknowledge what my children are doing rather than grumble that they're getting it wrong. My DC are still small - I hope I'll remember.