Was the primary teacher unreasonable?

[Bananarama21]

So I'm a school swimming teacher and been covering the mornings aswell as working the afternoon school swimming and learn 2 swim. Ds5 reading book day changed from Friday to Thursday. I forgot his bag and utilmately he was not giving a treat and watched as all the kids recieved one due to this. DS burst into tears, he's on the spectrum and can have a melt down. Previously he struggled with lockdowns and ended up going back in. When he returned to school it was a struggle to actually get him into the building and was a felt often having a melt down. The teacher explained the reason for no treat to my auntie. I work closely with primary schools and teach many children with various learning disabilities and would never conduct myself in that way especially 5 years old. I feel this might be a set back for him as he has started being reluctant going into school. Teacher is aware of his history.

Too many of these ‘rewards’ are utterly pointless and verging on cruel. All that is needed is a thank you to the kids who brought the books in, and a reminder to the parents who forgot. In infants it is particularly wrong.
DS2 is now 13 so doesn’t worry about things like this but did get a behaviour point in year 8 for having the wrong sort of protractor- clearly my fault as I bought it. It was a triangle set thing with the half circle cut out as well - but apparently not a proper protractor. Point made - but why not just tell him he needs a proper one. A behaviour point?
I wouldn’t waste my time asking for a meeting as you are not likely to get anywhere. I would send him with a short but pointed note in his book, letting her know that your child was very upset and might not be settled for a few days. I would want to send a very sarcastic version but would think better of it.
What the hell is wrong with schools? When I was a kid you just got a reminder. Some aspects of 1989s school were bad, yes, but giving sweets out and excluding a 5 year old child whose parent forgot the book bag is just wrong and stupidly undermines what should surely be the main priority - enabling all children to enjoy school and be in a good place to learn.

I think by the age of 5, a child knows he should have his bookbag with him every day.
Similarly, has he got exceptionally poor cognitive skills, to fail to understand the concept of being rewarded for remembering his book?

@TirednWorried

I think by the age of 5, a child knows he should have his bookbag with him every day. Similarly, has he got exceptionally poor cognitive skills, to fail to understand the concept of being rewarded for remembering his book?

I think most teachers and parents posting disagree with you. Not all, but most.

@Russell19

Bet you won't forget again.

It's very harsh but done its job.

No wonder education in this country is a mess. Punish the child with the disorganised parent (when you have an SEN child every day is a battle & you also have to remember that a large number of autistic children have autistic parents) but equally it also punishes the child of a dysfunctional family, whose parents don't value education, whose mum might be so depressed they struggle to look after themselves etc etc.

That child is then much more likely to disengage with education and the cycle of non achievement continues.

@TirednWorried

I think by the age of 5, a child knows he should have his bookbag with him every day. Similarly, has he got exceptionally poor cognitive skills, to fail to understand the concept of being rewarded for remembering his book?

You don't have much experience with autism do you? My autistic 17 year old is incapable of organising himself without significant help never mind a 5 year old.

I used to teach drama to kids and my way of trying to encourage the kids to wear the right uniform/bring their stuff with them was to put a slip of paper with their name on into a bag every time they bought thier stuff. Then at the end of the term I drew a name out and the winner got treat. That way the ones who remembered to bring the correct shoes etc every week got more chance of winning but it didn't punish anyone.

I think generally the concept of treats for performance in this way is pretty poor. Children should be motivated towards autonomy by their own self of achievement, as in, in the right environment a child will naturally want to become more autonomous and indepependent gradually at the right time for them. Rewards are not helpful, just as punishments are not helpful. Same thing for achievement in other areas, the feel good aspect for a child reaching their potential is far more powerful, and healthier, than being given a reward.

I'm a Year 1 teacher and wouldn't dream of excluding any child from getting a reward. I don't think rewards for bringing in their reading books are appropriate though - I just say "well done for remembering" and hopefully that's enough.

Very very harsh from that teacher but some teachers are just like that.
I am in Scotland and I was in primary 4....so was aged 8.
The spelling homework that night was to spell Czecheslovakia...don't even know if I managed to spell it correctly there. I swear about 10 of us got it wrong and we all got the belt.
We never thought anything of it and parents never either.
It's shocking to think of that now and what that teacher did to you're child.....shocking

I’d be equally annoyed that they were using sweets as a reward too tbh. It’s not a schools place to do that.

This is silly even if he didn't have special needs. 5 year olds won't even remember which day of the week it is. It inevitably becomes the parent's job remembering, so why is the child being punished? Also puzzling is why treats are being given for remembering to bring a book, sounds like an unhealthy approach to me.

have you spoken to the teacher or head op?

I spike yo the head teacher he didn't seem remotely interest just kept saying ah right. I have a telephone appointment with the teacher for parents evening so will speak to her then.

doesnt sound very promising

I think it was really mean for him to be singled out like that. He’s only 5 ffs, far too young to remember for himself what happens on what day of the week, additional needs or not. The poor little thing has basically been punished for your ‘crime’ and I would be very upset about this if I were you.