To be furious with MiL?

[Thistledew]

For driving DS unsecured in her car?

She picked him up from school for the first time in a while and found that the straps on his car seat were too tight to do up. Rather than a) phoning DH or I for help/to collect him, b) asking someone at the school for help adjusting the straps, or even c) buckling him in with one of the adult seat belts, she drove him home with him just sitting on the car seat but with no restraint. The journey is only 10 mins but is partly along a main road and partly along single track rural roads which at the moment are frequented by large farm machinery harvesting sugar beet and potatoes.

I have trust issues with her at the moment, which may be souring my view, but AIBU to be angry with her and concerned at her poor decision making?

@TotallySuper

What kind of car seat for a 5 year old still has a harness? Surely at that age all car seats are proper seatbelt only? I'm confused. Unless there is a whole new breed of car seat I'm unaware of. OP a simple solution would be to switch the car seat to one that's main seat belt only therefore easier her to sort or she doesn't pick him up anymore.

Lots of seats for 5yo have harnesses - Joie bold, maxi Cosi beryl, axkid move, axkid minikid, britax max way, two way elite.

Yes but still relevant for the weight and height of a 5 year old child? Never heard of anyone using a harness at this age and I have a 2 way elite and used it for extended rear facing for my eldest but that was ages ago mind you.

@TotallySuper

Yes but still relevant for the weight and height of a 5 year old child? Never heard of anyone using a harness at this age and I have a 2 way elite and used it for extended rear facing for my eldest but that was ages ago mind you.

A twe is perfectly fine for a 5yo. Most 5yo are under 25kg and 120cm in height. - DS at nearly 6 is a 118cm and 22kg. All the seats I listed are 25kg limits.

Well, it was 10 minutes on a road she knew well. I’d have a word but I certainly wouldn’t be as incandescent as a lot of people on here.
I assume she’s doing you a favour picking him up in the first place?

@BadwordMcGee but the harness has a lower weight limit? Hence switching to main seatbelt. The 25kg weight limit for the harness on a TWE is rear facing only. When front facing I believe it reduces to 15kg. Worth a Google.

It was a bad decision, that luckily didn't result in a bad outcome.

I can't see why you can't have a frank conversation with her based on that. See what her reaction is, and then make decisions for the future. No need to take a hammer to a nut if you don't need to.

I find car seats utterly confusing and when you've got a post-school child to contend with things get trickier. Just get the seat sorted, explain how to adjust it again.

@Mybalconyiscracking

Well, it was 10 minutes on a road she knew well. I’d have a word but I certainly wouldn’t be as incandescent as a lot of people on here. I assume she’s doing you a favour picking him up in the first place?

WTAF has that got to do with anything l. I don’t know the exact stats but aren’t most people killed in accidents a few miles within their house? This is not acceptable in any way. People make more lapses thinking things are safe. The kid running out/animal/car pulling out don’t avoid you as you know the road. It’s this bulkshit that keeps people saying it’s ok.

Op it was not ok. You need to tell her and let her be upset.
Your cycling setup sounds safe