Force feeding toddler

[Scoobapro]

I’m trying to keep this brief as it’s potentially outing.

But….I’m in a group chat with some other mums. We met at a group class when our kids were babies and they are now 2 years old.

She has mentioned how stressed she gets at dinner time and how she forces her son sit and eat everything on his plate before he gets down because she’s spent time cooking it.

Today she said every time he spat a piece of food out she physically shoved it back in his mouth until he ate everything. I’m shocked that she’s admitted to doing that and find that extremely invasive and unnecessary.

Am I unreasonable for considering this to be invasive and a bit cruel? I know it’s frustrating when they don’t eat, but that’s 2 year olds. Surely force feeding them isn’t right?

The reason I’m asking AIBU is the responses in the chat so far are quite supportive of this behaviour and I am shocked by that.

That's bizarre and abusive, imo.

Its abuse.

That’s fucking horrible. Really horrible. She’s a nasty piece of work.

No you're right, that's insane. I can't see in what world this is beneficial.

Abuse and setting him up for a lifetime of issues. Poor kid.

It's appalling and abusive - she's going to give him real issues around food. I suspect that everyone else on the group is also horrified but doesn't want to say so to her face - by 'quite supportive' I'm guessing they're more 'gosh it's tough when they don't eat, you do what you need to!' rather than 'yes, this is a brilliant tactic, I do it all the time'?

I’d be reporting to social services and have nothing more to do with any of them. Someone needs to call that out as abuse. Disgraceful. Anyone knowingly supporting that is guilty, that’s how kids die because people don’t intervene, normalise and minimise.

Surely this is the kind of thing that triggers eating disorders?! I found it quite disturbing to read.
She said ‘it never did me any harm’.
I am so surprised by some people’s level of awareness or lack of. I’m really not someone who judges other mums as I know we are all winging it in our own way but I couldn’t get over this when I read it!!

It's abuse.

Toddlers until they are 3 and then social pressure kicks in eat when they are hungry and eat naturally until they are full.

If they don't want to eat something either:

1. Store it and reheat it the next day, or
2. Eat it yourself, or,
3. Chuck it away.

That’s abusive in my book. Poor kid.

I have the fussiest eating child in the world. It’s bloody hideous.

You know what’s worse? Force feeding them.

It’s abusive and I’d find it hard to be friends with someone like that.

@Megan2018

I’d be reporting to social services and have nothing more to do with any of them. Someone needs to call that out as abuse. Disgraceful. Anyone knowingly supporting that is guilty, that’s how kids die because people don’t intervene, normalise and minimise.

Yep this.

All of this.

Utterly disgusting and abusive behaviour.

Well that’s a good way to set him up for a life of eating issues.

For context this is not a close friend, just a group I was added in to a while ago that people catch up on every now and again.
I am relieved that others find this equally shocking. It was disturbing me feeling like others would deem this to be ok!
I feel a coward for not saying something in the chat but it’s awkward as we aren’t close and I’m not sure what I’d even say.

Abuse. I'm not sure you could report it to SS but I certainly wouldn't want to be around anyone like that.

That’s extremely abusive and you need to report her to social services

@Scoobapro

For context this is not a close friend, just a group I was added in to a while ago that people catch up on every now and again. I am relieved that others find this equally shocking. It was disturbing me feeling like others would deem this to be ok! I feel a coward for not saying something in the chat but it’s awkward as we aren’t close and I’m not sure what I’d even say.

Screenshot what’s being said, email it to Nspcc.

You need to say something. You owe it to that child. This is horrendous. Food times should be fun family time not force feeding time...I have a 2 year old and I could not imagine doing this! It must be so stressful and hideous for them all!

Tell her to stop subjecting her child to abuse...people even recognise it's not nice for foie gras anymore!!

@Hardbackwriter yes, that’s along the lines of the replies that have been sent. Maybe they aren’t sure how to approach it

People turning a blind eye is one of the reasons 6yo Arthur Labinjo Hughes died horrifically.
Definitely social services.

Abd this is what she's prepared to admit to. Who knows what happens she's not prepared to admit.

@DaphneDeloresMoorhead I thought the same. I did think that she really mustn’t know how bad this is to do it let alone tell people. It has made me think about what else may happen.
What would social services do in a situation like this? Would they go round to visit the house?
I have never reported something before. I feel guilty at the idea of it but it is so awful to do that to a toddler.
I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have food forced in to my mouth. The idea of it is really unsettling.

She's doubtless trying to do her best for her DS but I think you should tell her that it's unnecessary and wrong. She needs educating.

It’s child abuse.

@DaphneDeloresMoorhead

People turning a blind eye is one of the reasons 6yo Arthur Labinjo Hughes died horrifically. Definitely social services.

Absolutely.