On a table with toddlers-ask to move?

[Rhica]

Aibu?

Going away next weekend for my sister in laws birthday. On the Saturday we are having a meal out. I have paid for babysitters to have a child free night (8 have a 4 year old and 1 year old) . I have zero support so having a child free night is a big deal for me. First time in 2 years and I am (or was) so looking forward to it.

Anyway they've done a seating plan and they've put me on a table with 2 year old twins, their parents and another adult. Aibu to ask to move. I just don't see the point in paying for babysitters when I have to sit with baby's. My brother said they are good kids. And I'm sure they are. But it's not like they are 8. They are toddlers!!

I'm so upset. I wanted an adult night hence paying for baby sitters.

(for context the restaurant is splitting the party into tables of 6 due to covid and its a large party of about 30. Only 2 children-the twins)

(also for context. My brother and sister in law don't have kids. They would be very vocal if I were to put them with kids on a night out too)

Just say!

100% I would! And I would also 100% understand if someone said this to me x

Couldn't you do something else with your child free time? Grab a friend for a night out. There's no way I'd waste an opportunity to be child free on a family dinner

Get there early and tell the staff your dilemma..

Sit at the other table.
And don't move.

I’ve had 2 year old twins. I wouldn’t want to sit at the same table as them, so can’t blame anyone else for not wanting to either!

Explain what you have put here to them they should understand if they don't I wouldn't go.

I would 100% ask to move, I would not be prepared to sit with kids on a rare child free night out

Absolutely say something.
Don't let them put you with people's kids.
Say that as you have paid for a babysitter you are not going to sit with any one else's kids.
If they get arsey don't go, go out with a friend instead.

@3scape I wish this wasn't how I was spending my first child free night. 🙈😂

Of course ask to move! If he says no then back out. I have a two year old, she’s amazing. I adore children of all ages. If I was having a night away you couldn’t pay me to sit with someone else’s toddlers. No. Fucking. Way.

Yes, get there early, grab a place away from the high chairs and don't move. Or find someone sympathetic and ask to swap.

It's easier if you're a couple, because there's always one person to babysit if you're not going out together, so you can take turns to have a child-free time without paying. But if you're a single parent, I can imagine you really look forward to and appreciate those times when you get a babysitter in!

Yanbu

Six months after my second dc was born, we went on our first child free night out. Paid a babysitter...£50. Got dressed up, got a cab to a nice restaurant....meal for two was over £100 so a decent place. Nice cocktails too. Then a family with a baby were seated next to us. I asked to move. We had spent a lot of time and effort to have our first child free evening out and like hell was I leaving my baby at home just to sit next to someone else's!

Thanks. OK so not a reasonable request. If I was out all the time I wouldn't mind. Or if my kids were going fine. But it was kind of a big deal this night for me (saddo I know) so really upset. Also they know how I've struggled by losing our on social adult time since my son. They've never offered any help (which is fine) but then don't do this to me

Agree with PP - tell your brother it’s a no (and why). If he’s not going to budge, use your child free night doing something else.

My brother said they are good kids.

So he can swap with you and he'll sit on their table instead of you. Bet he's got a reason why he can't.

YANBU. Definitely say something. And stick to your guns. Don't be backed into it. You've paid for a rare childfree night. Make sure you get it and you enjoy it!

To be honest, I'd have the hump that toddlers were going to be there full stop. I sure as hell wouldn't sit on a table with them, or anywhere near them. Unless maybe if you paid me a million pounds. Cash. Per toddler.

Are the twins family to you or random? This would probably explain the seating idea. However, speak up and ask to move.

Thanks. OK so not a reasonable request.

What??

@Assssssssssss

Explain what you have put here to them they should understand if they don't I wouldn't go.

100% this

YANBU at all.
No-one wants to sit with other people's dc when they have paid a babysitter so they can have a relaxing night out.

Your sil probably thought she’d put you there as you have dc and would ‘help’ with the twins or socialise with the parents.
I’d ask to move. I’d want to relax.

Def move- the first child free night is beyond exciting. At that stage even Supermarket trips on my own were sacred moments!

Urgh sounds horrible. Reminds me of a wedding where I was sat with a table full of family members who knew each other and made no effort to speak to me. I made a couple of overtures and then gave up.

Wish I hadn’t bothered wasting all that money!

I can guarantee it will be miserable OP, back out now!

@hundredmilesanhour I might be more willing if I got paid £1m 😂

@yocomanzanas never met them before. He says he trying to mix groups. Actually I think he's trying to set up a group ski holiday. We are all skiers and hes been trying to get us to meet for years to organise a ski holiday. But I have no interest until kids are old enough so waste of effort 🙈

On a side note the whole splitting into tables of 6 sounds a bit daft
There's no reason for this now and other restaurants and pubs are having big tables as normal.
Assuming a not huge and not well ventilated room there can't even be a huge COVID benefit
On any table you could end up a bit isolated if not your favourite family

Just say no.
They’re being really inconsiderate. They know darn well you’ve decided not to take your own dc.
I wouldn’t put up with that shit.