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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

On a table with toddlers-ask to move?

86 replies

Rhica · 10/11/2021 21:51

Aibu?

Going away next weekend for my sister in laws birthday. On the Saturday we are having a meal out. I have paid for babysitters to have a child free night (8 have a 4 year old and 1 year old) . I have zero support so having a child free night is a big deal for me. First time in 2 years and I am (or was) so looking forward to it.

Anyway they've done a seating plan and they've put me on a table with 2 year old twins, their parents and another adult. Aibu to ask to move. I just don't see the point in paying for babysitters when I have to sit with baby's. My brother said they are good kids. And I'm sure they are. But it's not like they are 8. They are toddlers!!

I'm so upset. I wanted an adult night hence paying for baby sitters.

(for context the restaurant is splitting the party into tables of 6 due to covid and its a large party of about 30. Only 2 children-the twins)

(also for context. My brother and sister in law don't have kids. They would be very vocal if I were to put them with kids on a night out too)

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 10/11/2021 22:49

I wouldn't bother going. Have a meal out somewhere else with your DH. Why are these toddlers even there in the first place.

Mammyloveswine · 10/11/2021 22:49

Absolutely

FairFuming · 10/11/2021 22:51

Uh no way. I had a recent argument with some mum friends of mine they kept organising play dates for when both my kids were in childcare which is fine but they then got pissed off that I refused to use my child free time to get a coffee and watch and most likely run after their little darlings while they sat and had a good catch up.

You don't get time off from your child to spend time with kids who you don't know or aren't close with.

Datsandcogs · 10/11/2021 22:53

I would be frank. As a single parent I wouldn’t be paying for a sitter to then be put with toddlers.

Kite22 · 10/11/2021 22:53

@RubyTuesday70

Frankly anyone bringing 2 year old twins out for an evening meal with 28 adults are arseholes in the 1st place.
This ^

and this

I agree. It won't be fun for either kids or parents. Or anyone else.

Wineandroses3 · 10/11/2021 22:53

YANBU! I would definitely say something! Who even takes 2 year old twins on an evening night out when there are no other Kids going. I would ask to be moved and I wouldn’t go if they refused or made an issue of it they’re being so selfish, you might aswell take your own kids with you if you’re going to be sat all night with someone else’s.

HaveringWavering · 10/11/2021 22:58

@MintyGreenDream

Why the fuck can't the parents sit with their twins?
They are. It says it in the OP.
AudacityBaby · 10/11/2021 23:00

Thing is, you just know the parents will be the type to be all, oh gosh it’s soooo hard with two, you never get a break, lucky you just having the one littlie, you don’t mind helping Tommy and Gina get a handle on their cutlery do you? /tinkly little laugh

CharityDingle · 10/11/2021 23:02

Oh no. I would give the whole thing a miss, tbh. Book a nice meal elsewhere.

sunflowerroses · 10/11/2021 23:02

I went to a wedding once where my children weren't invited - the groom is The Godfather to one and she still wasn't invited. The bride was from overseas and I made a real effort to go to the hen so two days before the wedding and met her family.

Then we were put on a table with the only children there and their grandparents (and another couple)! The children were lovely but changes the atmosphere and I was annoyed that even their parents got an adult table and we had to chat to their children having arranged weekend babysitters for ours!

I'd definitely ask again to be moved.

TableFlowerss · 10/11/2021 23:05

I live my own kids to infinity and beyond…. But I’m not a fan of other people’s kids if I’m honest and I certainly wouldn’t want to be stuck between toddies on my only child free night in 2 years. (I’d also feel guilty for not being with my own kids which is mad really)

I’d rather go out on my own and sit on my own if they said no.

TableFlowerss · 10/11/2021 23:05

LOVE

lottiegarbanzo · 10/11/2021 23:07

Speak up. I've found that non-parents sometimes view parenthood as a kind of generic role - that once you're a parent, you're happy to sit with, look after, or be disturbed by any old kids.

You need to say that, much as you love your own kids, you don't want to spend time with other people's and are really looking forward to a child-free night out.

GrandmasCat · 10/11/2021 23:10

No way, it is already bad enough to be at a restaurant at night when someone shows with toddlers or babies. I hardly had any childfree nights when I was raising DS and a night out costed a fortune in babysitters, so getting a child in another table when you paid so dear for a child free night is infuriating, forget about having them at the same table.

I would ask to be moved or back out.

TableFlowerss · 10/11/2021 23:10

Tell them that you’re going hell for leather with the gin so the kids shouldn’t see it…

MumW · 10/11/2021 23:16

Either they move you away from the twins or you cancel the baby sitters and take your 2 as well. Save the baby sitters for another time when you can take full advantage.

Foolsrule · 10/11/2021 23:18

I feel you! I remember going for a quiet childfree coffee one Sunday morning when mine were small and another Mum and her little one sat right next to me, expected me to interact/comment on her cuteness, totally ruining the fact this was my one hour to myself all week. Made me want to cry!

lemmein · 10/11/2021 23:22

I wouldn't go if I was sat with a group I don't even know - especially if 2 of them were toddlers 🙈

I'm antisocial though and say no to most things!

AudacityBaby · 10/11/2021 23:24

I just need someone who voted YABU to explain why. For science. It’s driving me mad!

Lalliella · 10/11/2021 23:24

Are you all away together? Could the parents of the twins share your babysitter?

MrsMiddleMother · 10/11/2021 23:26

I'd definitely speak up and ask to move. Be blunt, why the hell would you be paying for babysitters to then be sat with toddlers

backtolifebacktoreality · 10/11/2021 23:31

Just tell him that you want a night without kids so you can enjoy yourself.

I went out recently to a restaurant and their were noisy kids sat at a table adjacent to where the waiter was going to seat us. I asked if we could have a different table 😜

FortunesFave · 10/11/2021 23:38

I'd be way more upset I was sitting with people I didn't know! If I was looking forward to a night out and didn't have a mate or close cousins to be with I wouldn't want to go.

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 10/11/2021 23:39

Tell your brother to move you or you aren’t going.

This. It's not at all unreasonable

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 10/11/2021 23:40

@MumW

Either they move you away from the twins or you cancel the baby sitters and take your 2 as well. Save the baby sitters for another time when you can take full advantage.
Or this. Tell him you'll be bringing yours as well and he'll have to change his seating plan Hmm