…to think this is not right?

[Welshl00n]

Significant other often swears at me:

• dickhead
• fu**ing prick
• fu*ing cnt
• utter fu**ing moron
• tw*t
• wanker
• dick

SO says it’s just ‘bantz’, and is upset that ‘I could even think it’s not joking’, but if I say similar SO gets very very upset/angry. Like, I once said ‘you’re a bit of a prick when you’re drunk’, no drama, no shouting, and I have never heard the end of it (‘your behaviour was disgusting, all my friends agree’…’your behaviour that night [it was EIGHTEEN MONTHS AGO!!!] is very very worrying’…‘I’ve asked four people and they all say it’s very concerning’…), it always gets thrown in my face. SO once took the piss out of me re. an online meeting I was holding like this:

“…Mainly to say to myself ‘that fucking cunt just referred to themself as ‘HoD’ again’ 🙄…”

Then when I said I didn’t like it, SO said:

“… I’m not sure why you took that the way you did, I’m sorry I’ve clearly offended you…I’m concerned that you must think in some way I would want to upset you, on your birthday, and that you’d say ‘I have to spoil everything’. I’d forgotten this level of sensitivity that I’m not good at…”

Like it’s all me being over-sensitive. And it was my bloody birthday, too.

AIBU?

Nobody should speak to you like that. Nobody

Your SO sounds awful.

Why would you even question if this is okay OP? If it makes you feel bad, you've told them and they're still doing it it's not okay.

Be clear. Name calling is unacceptable and is not "bantz". It is disrespectful and hurtful. They are also minimising your feelings and saying you're not allowed to feel how you feel. That is also unacceptable. Do you want a life of this? They won't change.

Is this a DP?

The first part of your post sounds like my ex. Abusive bastard. Especially the crap about all his friends think the same

I didn't understand the meeting but though

Your partner sounds like a knob
Ltb

Depends if you have any standards.
No one would speak to me in that way.

Decentl people don't insult their partners.
For example, my DH has never once spoken to me like that, although we have had humdinger arguments back in the day.
Would you put up with a stranger or a colleague speaking to you like that?
Ditch him pronto. He does not respect you at all.

Abd you with SO why?

You’re

Why are you with this person?

If my dh called me any of those things, joke or not he'd be out of the door.

Why are you in a relationship with this person?