Help! What would you do?

dood09 · 2021-11-10T17:32:58+00:00

Hey ladies, so long story short we’ve had an issue with our boiler so currently have no central heating so have been using plug in heaters, I told my mum just how annoying it is so close to December when I need to start Christmas shopping and we need a whole new boiler, even worse we’ve found no company with available time to fix it for 4 days! she then proceeded to get angry and say she’s going to call the social and have my 1yo taken off me and given to her and that I would be able to see her at her house and my partner can’t see her, how would you react to this?

pictish · 10/11/2021 17:36

I’d laugh and say, “Stop being silly mother.”

Starcaller · 10/11/2021 17:37

I think I wouldn't be speaking to her about anything again. What a weird reaction.

Original poster

dood09 · 10/11/2021 17:38

@pictish

I’d laugh and say, “Stop being silly mother.”

Unfortunately I did that this and it lead to a big argument, her and my partner have never seen eye to eye and this is fuelled a big argument over nothing, I feel stuck in the middle like my family want me to leave my partner

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SickAndTiredAgain · 10/11/2021 17:38

I’d ignore her. And if I thought she genuinely meant it, I’d stop talking to her altogether because I’d want nothing to do with someone making malicious reports based on nothing.

Ponoka7 · 10/11/2021 17:39

You need to distance yourself from her. Don't share personal things with her.

Original poster

dood09 · 10/11/2021 17:39

@Starcaller

I think I wouldn't be speaking to her about anything again. What a weird reaction.

I feel so hurt, I think it's mainly due to her not liking my partner but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine her saying this, I love my mum, she is a great mother to me and grandmother to my boy but she can't stand my partner and he can't stand her, it's becoming such a stress in my life

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Original poster

dood09 · 10/11/2021 17:40

@SickAndTiredAgain

I’d ignore her. And if I thought she genuinely meant it, I’d stop talking to her altogether because I’d want nothing to do with someone making malicious reports based on nothing.

She claims she just wants my child to be safe but I don't even know what to think anymore

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SickAndTiredAgain · 10/11/2021 17:40

I love my mum, she is a great mother to me and grandmother to my boy

If she said that either as a genuine thing where she thought she could have your child removed, or as a threat she knew was nonsense but just wanted to scare you, then she is neither a good mother or a good grandmother.

Original poster

dood09 · 10/11/2021 17:40

@Ponoka7

You need to distance yourself from her. Don't share personal things with her.

I think you're right, god I feel guilty about it and I don't even know why!

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HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 10/11/2021 17:42

Is there some kind of huge back story to this?

If I told someone the boiler had broke and no one could come fix it for 4 days so I had plug in heaters on, and that I was frustrated by the timing as December is an expensive month, then I'd be incredibly confused if they said they'd be calling SS and taking the kids away because it makes no sense.

Ponoka7 · 10/11/2021 17:42

She isn't a great Mother to you, she threatened to take your baby. She isn't a good grandmother, because she's happy to cause your baby harm. She's toxic and controlling.

SickAndTiredAgain · 10/11/2021 17:42

She claims she just wants my child to be safe

Does she have any legitimate reason to think he isn’t? Not liking your partner doesn’t make him dangerous. I assume if she had actual reasons to think your son wasn’t safe, she would be saying she’d take that to social services, not nonsense about not having a boiler for a few days.

itsgettingwierd · 10/11/2021 17:42

I'd say "well mum if you think the social remove every child who happened to live in a house for a few days with a faulty utility - you're clearly of out of touch with the cases of kids who've faced real harm"

Original poster

dood09 · 10/11/2021 17:43

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo

Is there some kind of huge back story to this?

If I told someone the boiler had broke and no one could come fix it for 4 days so I had plug in heaters on, and that I was frustrated by the timing as December is an expensive month, then I'd be incredibly confused if they said they'd be calling SS and taking the kids away because it makes no sense.

Her and my partner don't get on so she has convinced herself that he just isn't fixing it because he can't be bothered, when we just can't find anyone to fix it amy sooner

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Ponoka7 · 10/11/2021 17:43

"I think you're right, god I feel guilty about it and I don't even know why!"

Because she has schooled you to think that her behaviour is normal and you don't matter.

Original poster

dood09 · 10/11/2021 17:44

@SickAndTiredAgain

She claims she just wants my child to be safe

Does she have any legitimate reason to think he isn’t? Not liking your partner doesn’t make him dangerous. I assume if she had actual reasons to think your son wasn’t safe, she would be saying she’d take that to social services, not nonsense about not having a boiler for a few days.

No not at all, it's no secret that when we found out I was pregnant my partner did not want a baby, I fell pregnant on contraception and were only 20 and 21 at the time of finding out which she won't let go and thinks he still doesn't want the baby since he works a lot

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Original poster

dood09 · 10/11/2021 17:46

@Ponoka7

"I think you're right, god I feel guilty about it and I don't even know why!"

Because she has schooled you to think that her behaviour is normal and you don't matter.

Wow never really had that perspective, I also have 3 sisters who have all sided with her on this matter so I've been made to feel I'm Doing something wrong

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SickAndTiredAgain · 10/11/2021 17:47

In that case I’d have nothing more to do with someone who threatened to have my child taken away.

Pumpkinsonparade · 10/11/2021 17:49

My dm didn't like my bf. She lied so I wouldn't get back with him.
She was happiest when I was on my own. Begrudged me being in a relationship because she wasn't. And she raised me alone and thought I should follow suit. Been nc for decades..

Hortonhearsadoctorwho · 10/11/2021 17:51

How strange.
Honestly I would say ‘ok mum, I’ll await a visit from ss’ then just avoid contact.
I can 100% promise ss will be just as baffled and nothing would happen so call her bluff.
Personally I’d then distance myself, threatening to take a child away from their parents with no reason is disgusting.

Original poster

dood09 · 10/11/2021 17:54

@Pumpkinsonparade

My dm didn't like my bf. She lied so I wouldn't get back with him. She was happiest when I was on my own. Begrudged me being in a relationship because she wasn't. And she raised me alone and thought I should follow suit. Been nc for decades..

Sorry to hear this hun! My mum is the opposite, been with my dad since school age so not sure what the issue is, she has never liked any friend or boyfriend I've had in the past

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Original poster

dood09 · 10/11/2021 17:55

@Hortonhearsadoctorwho

How strange. Honestly I would say ‘ok mum, I’ll await a visit from ss’ then just avoid contact. I can 100% promise ss will be just as baffled and nothing would happen so call her bluff. Personally I’d then distance myself, threatening to take a child away from their parents with no reason is disgusting.

I'm glad everyone is validating how I was thinking, was convinced maybe I was doing something wrong Here

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nannybeach · 10/11/2021 17:59

The woman is barking. We only had central heating from the mid 2000s didn't have any adverse effects on my DKs or GKs.

Original poster

dood09 · 10/11/2021 18:00

@nannybeach

The woman is barking. We only had central heating from the mid 2000s didn't have any adverse effects on my DKs or GKs.

I've got thermometers in my baby's room and my living room, neither of which have even dropped below 18 degrees, mostly been sitting high 19/20

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negomi90 · 10/11/2021 18:01

End contact with mum.
Presumably your child is fed and clothed and you say you have electric heaters so not cold. This isn't a social services issue. The fact that your mum wants to take your kid off you is screaming red flags about her. I wouldn't be able to trust her let alone with my child after that. I'd view her as something to protect my child from and act accordingly.