To not want 5 year old around a dangerous dog breed...

[ponyclub1234]

My 5 year olds best friends family have got an American Bulldog, a huge dog that looks like pure muscle, they want DD to go for a play date but I am not comfortable with her being around this dog, expecially in light of the recent news story about the 7 year old killed by his friends American pitbull. I know they are not used to raising this type of breed either and will not have been responsible in socialising / training it correctly.

How can I politely decline on this basis??
I know theres no point making an excuse as they'll just ask to rearrange but I don't want to create conflict as I do get on with her mother and we are around each other a lot.

YANBU at all.
Are you sure it’s an American pit bull? I thought they were banned in the U.K… but regardless YANBU no matter what the breed, I wouldn’t be offended if a child’s parent didn’t want to come to my home because of my Labrador. Most parents don’t see a problem, but the odd child has been scared and reacted my screeching and running away, arms flapping- cue Lab thinking this is an epic game of chase and lick them to death. Parent not bothered/finds it funny, me very bothered and trying to stop child from panicking and relocate dog to an area he can’t get to them. But then typically children recover, let the dog out and the whole thing begins again! But as loving as he is, he is getting on a bit and gets too worn out.

I would much rather a parent warn me the child is nervous or has not been around dogs in the first place. I can then suggest a play date elsewhere or ensure the dog is in another room and less likely to be seen.

YADNBU!
In would feel exactly the same.
I would not want to go over there myself, or let the kids go accompanied by me let alone without me. Hell no. Too big a risk.

Be honest, something along the lines of .. 'sorry, won't be able to come over as I feel uncomfortable with the dog. I'd rather meet up somewhere else as would still love to see you'

People who are saying the breed isn't relevant... I agree to some extent - the training and treatment is hugely important. But all you have to do is look up serious dog attacks and you can see that some breeds are FAR more likely than others to maim or kill a human. You'd be very hard pushed to find a whippet, say, or a small spaniel who had seriously hurt (or worse) a child (especially a child older than a toddler/baby). So I'd take several factors into account - breed, size, temperament, training.

I don't mind if someone asks me to put the dog away. They never do though

No need for people to keep dogs like that.

Tell them you are not comfortable either your kid or yourself being around it. The sooner it becomes socially unaccaptable to have dogs like that the better.

No need for people to keep dogs like that.

Tell them you are not comfortable either your kid or yourself being around it. The sooner it becomes socially unaccaptable to have dogs like that the better.

American bulldogs aren’t banned breeds. They were bred as farm dogs similar to collie dogs.
American pit bulls are banned in the UK as well as some other breeds.

Claim allergies. If you go anywhere near the “dogs are dangerous” discussion, it will not end well.

Are you sure it’s an American pit bull? I thought they were banned in the U.K…

She didn't say it was an American pitbull. She said it was an American bulldog. I know several. All soft friendly dogs (to humans) but I still understand why op is concerned

I don't mind if someone asks me to put the dog away. They never do though

I’d ask. Generally people are shitty about it though!

@FateHasRedesignedMost

I’d just say I wasn’t happy with my child being around a dog of that size and breed.

Aren’t American pitbulls banned in the U.K., or strictly regulated? They’re notorious for unprovoked attacks on children.

Sadly there’s still an underground market for dog fighting, betting and breeding. Pitbull types (often American pitbulls with false papers to pass them off as staff crosses) are a popular fighting dog.

American pitbulls are banned however there are several legal breeds that get mistaken for them. American Bulldogs (different breed) are legal.

Why would people lie about the reason for not wanting to be around this type of dog ?

Some owners go all weird and offended. I guess it’s to try and avoid the fall out.
But yes, I don’t think people should lie like it’s some taboo to say you don’t want to be around someone’s dog.

You'd be very hard pushed to find a whippet, say, or a small spaniel who had seriously hurt (or worse) a child (especially a child older than a toddler/baby)

I'm sure spaniels are one of the most common dogs to have bitten, whippets can be nervy and not always ideal around strange children. There have been plenty incidents of babies and children seriously hurt or killed by small dogs

Banned breeds:
Japanese Tosa
Brazilian filiera or something like that
Dogo Argentino
Pitbull terrier

YANBU! We have dogs (terrier breeds) but they too are very defensive of DC. I don't think any good parent or dog owner would mind you declining in this basis as long as you're honest about it being the dog that's your problem. I certainly don't mind if people would rather we meet out somewhere rather than coming here. We chose to get dogs but not everyone else wants to be around them.

Aren’t American pitbulls banned in the U.K., or strictly regulated? They’re notorious for unprovoked attacks on children

Yes but these people don’t have a pitbull
This is not a banned breed…

Every few years it’s a different dog that people jump on. Years ago it was rotties, then it was staffies, now pittbulls.
It’s bad owners.
Ive been bitten multiple times, never buy the large dogs i’ve been around, but by the yappy little ones.
Still have the scars from them.

I would be exactly the same as you - absolutely no way my child would be going to that house at all.

If you don’t feel comfortable with the dog, decline.
My sister was horrendously attacked age 8 by a dog at her friends (she survived with severe physical and psychological scars). My sister was just running about playing with her friend, and the dog attacked her.
If you don’t have confidence in the owner or the dog, don’t take the risk. Go with your gut instinct.

Just tell her, don’t want child playing in a house with a bloody great big, scary looking dog.

For God's sake people will continue to say its not the breed but let's all get real here it is. Its always the bully breeds that kill children. Its always these types of dog that are aggressive and untrained.

Of course there are incidents involving other breeds and aggressive other breeds but the vast majority are big muscley bully dogs. Saying and claiming otherwise is utter rubbish.

These are not good pets. They are dangerous. I'm absolutely sick of one in my neighborhood that I have reported again and again. Its a matter of time before it kills someone. Its already attacked someone. Its brother who lived in the same house almost killed someone but because this dog didn't do the actual bite this time its been allowed home.

Its likely these breeds have shit owners. Like in my neighborhood. never propeely walked and untrained.

Saw another American bully puppy being walked yesterday. It was pulling the owner along while she meekly said stop Zeus. I was walking with my dog and child and it was pulling towards us. Owner looked offended when I gave them a wide bearth.

I have a large dog who is soft as butter. Spot on obedience and temprement. Id trust her with anyone and with my life but im not stupid and she is out when we have unknown children around. I do like dogs in general. Hell would freeze over before I let my dc in a house with a bully breed and I'd not be ashamed to say so.

Just politely, firmly tell them the truth. You don't trust that breed of dog around children so can't let your child visit their house, ever.

No promises , reassurances or conditions will change your decision.

Little Friend can come to yours in stead.

Its always the bully breeds that kill children. Its always these types of dog that are aggressive and untrained. No. It really isn't.

Despite all the hard boys and girls owning all sorts of bullies and training them to be mean, they do not make up the majority of breeds that kill, kids or adults.

It's that kind of misinformation that leads to all sorts of stupidities - inlcuding teh number of hard boys and girls owning all sorts of bullies and training them to be mean.

And OP doesn't even have to consider the dog breed, she just says no!

Im wary of children with my staffie tbh despite the fact she is soppy and loves children, but i always watch like a hawk

The question to ask yourself is, "am I more worried about offending this person than I am about my child's safety?"

You're not comfortable with it, you do not need to justify it.

Why do people want to own these dogs

I love dogs, but I wouldn’t want a child anywhere near one of those. And TBH I’d seriously suspect the common sense of anyone acquiring that sort of breed when they have children. Or even when they don’t, to be frank.
I’d just be honest and say you’re not happy with your child being around a dog of that type, and suggest their child coming to you instead - assuming that that’s possible.