To not want 5 year old around a dangerous dog breed...

[ponyclub1234]

My 5 year olds best friends family have got an American Bulldog, a huge dog that looks like pure muscle, they want DD to go for a play date but I am not comfortable with her being around this dog, expecially in light of the recent news story about the 7 year old killed by his friends American pitbull. I know they are not used to raising this type of breed either and will not have been responsible in socialising / training it correctly.

How can I politely decline on this basis??
I know theres no point making an excuse as they'll just ask to rearrange but I don't want to create conflict as I do get on with her mother and we are around each other a lot.

I would just tell them. Not everyone wants to be around dogs and I don’t see why we need to protect dog owners’ feelings.

I would tell them the truth you don't want your child around their dog.
I have an American bulldog and I personally wouldn't want anyone who felt that uncomfortable around my dog near him.
I would be keeping my dog safe from accusations (they're a big breed and I know my dog barks when the door goes and his big butt when he's excited can bop my child)
as much as your child is your baby my dog is mine.
They will understand just as I would!
Thankfully all my child's friends see my dog as the giant lump he is.

American Bulldogs are totally different from pit bulls. They've been around for hundreds of years and are renowned for being good with children. I'd certainly trust them more than a snappy little terrier or handbag dog.

From the wiki page:

An American Bulldog showing correct temperament, once it learns there is a new and very tiny family member, is a dog that shall be gentle and watchful over the little one and will tolerate baby tugging on its ears with patience. Any aggressive or possessive behavior is very much out of character and a sign of a poorly bred and trained individual: as has been related, in Early America one of the things they protected was the children of the household from intruders and wild animals. This would have included babies and toddlers.

You are perfectly within your right to decline a play date because of the dog, but what annoys me is the amount of misinformation that these type of threads generate.

Pit Bulls are banned in the UK, Pit Bulls are a type not a breed.

Actually, the American Pit Bull Terrier (APBT) absolutely is a distinct breed. Google it. The confusion is that we use it as a catch all over here. Like how a Dyson can be called 'a Hoover' despite the latter being a distinct manufacturer.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Pit_Bull_Terrier

My DC would never be allowed to a house with a dog unless I 100% knew the dog wouldn’t be left with them unattended. No dog can ever be guaranteed safe with young kids, they’re animals.

@FateHasRedesignedMost

I’d just say I wasn’t happy with my child being around a dog of that size and breed.

Aren’t American pitbulls banned in the U.K., or strictly regulated? They’re notorious for unprovoked attacks on children.

Sadly there’s still an underground market for dog fighting, betting and breeding. Pitbull types (often American pitbulls with false papers to pass them off as staff crosses) are a popular fighting dog.

If the dog is an American Bulldog it’s not a pit bull different breed My brother in law has a American Bulldog rescued from a charity so not a banned breed He is actually as daft as a brush if a little bouncy (the dog not my BIL )

It's absolutely reasonable to not want your child to be exposed or potentially exposed to a dog you don't know and trust.

I used to have a big dog (she was a rottweiler and super affectionate) and even though she was really chilled and well-behaved, I would never be offended by anyone asking for her to be put in a secure room or anyone declining an invitation because of her. Nor did I ever leave her unsupervised or even minimally supervised around children. A responsible pet owner knows the importance of keeping others safe and understands that any animal has the potential to behave unpredictably in certain situations.

I'd just tell them the truth and suggest an alternative.

@KrispyKremeDream

American Bulldogs are totally different from pit bulls. They've been around for hundreds of years and are renowned for being good with children. I'd certainly trust them more than a snappy little terrier or handbag dog.

From the wiki page:

An American Bulldog showing correct temperament, once it learns there is a new and very tiny family member, is a dog that shall be gentle and watchful over the little one and will tolerate baby tugging on its ears with patience. Any aggressive or possessive behavior is very much out of character and a sign of a poorly bred and trained individual: as has been related, in Early America one of the things they protected was the children of the household from intruders and wild animals. This would have included babies and toddlers.

Ah the old "nanny dog" argument. There's some truth to it. Unfortunately the nanny is Louise Woodward.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers. Definitely say no.

We have dogs and our DC is totally comfortable with dogs but I wouldn't have them around that breed.

The thing is you can’t be 💯 sure of what the actual breed is, it could be a mix . What you do know is that the dog is poorly trained and a large , bully type.

I wouldn’t beat around the bush , just say in light of the recent tragedy, you’d rather your child wasn’t in the same house as this type of dog and ignore any reassurance that they will lock it in another room/ keep it in the garden.

say that its very kind of her to offer but you dont want her going into a house with a big dog that she doesnt know and would she like to come to you instead or meet in the park

You have read about the woman killed by dachshunds right?

Not all rottweilers are aggressive (to the poster about them) my sons last two, highly trained service dogs were rottweilers. Amazing dogs who went into schools, hospitals and care homes as companions. Sadly both died a relatively young age because of cancer. Wonderful breed.
As with any dog, it's down to humans to train and socialise properly.

I have a dog. I always say to people before their kids come round that we have a dog in case they or their kids have any worries or concerns and I wouldn’t be offended if they said they didn’t want to come round. Equally I’d never leave any children alone with my dog. He is in fact a soppy Labrador, and most people aren’t scared of him in a way they might be of a bull breed but I think if you have a dog you have to accept that some people won’t be comfortable with that and it might affect your social life occasionally.

I have a very large, strong breed dog which people have claimed is a banned breed. I love dogs but I am always wary of my DC going to peoples homes with dogs. I believe dogs should be put away when other peoples children are around.

I personally would ask if they could keep the dog away as she is allergic/think she’s allergic.
If you say she’s scared of dogs they might want to introduce her to it to help her get over her fear.

just be honest.

I have dogs, but i would not want my child around strange dogs, especially a large bull breed. ever.

I know little dogs can be just as snappy and yappy but they wont do as much damage as a big bull breed

For those saying Rottweilers, pit bulls, American bulldogs are aggressive - I can guarantee you that they are way less aggressive than most breeds!
I’ll happily stroke most of these types of dogs as they’re usually big softies - chihuahuas, jack Russell’s, Yorkshire terrier etc no way!

They have a bad name at the moment due to being the ‘cool’ dog and then idiots get them and don’t look after them properly. It used to be Doberman’s and German Shepard’s and now it’s going on to drench bulldogs.

Why would people lie about the reason for not wanting to be around this type of dog ?

Just tell them straight that you aren't happy for your child to be around big terrier-type dogs. No need for apologies. If they had any sense, they wouldn't either.

No play dates at the houses of people who have dogs is a hill I’m prepared to die on. You can’t ever really trust a dog, and you can’t ever really trust someone else to be putting sufficient precautions in place. The children are always welcome at my house instead.

There is nothing wrong with being completely honest and direct . Just tell her I don't trust your dog.

Don't side step and say DD frighten of dog tell her.

Tbh I'm wary of kids coming round me I have a 6 kilo Jack Russell. Lockdown has meant young dogs have not been used to visitors and id be incredibly vigilant. I' don't think I'd allow my dc round in those circumstances with a big dog especially if you don't think the owners will be on the ball

of the things they protected was the children of the household from intruders

The OPs dd is the intruder in this case. Big softy or not, the truth is the UK has tons of these strong muscular dogs and a significant number of them are absolutely untrained. Any bull breed will do much more damage than a none bull breed so people are right to be careful.

Was in a similar situation with Dd, declined all after school invitations from one of her friends due to a massive dog in the family. It never seemed completely under control when out and about, so I didn't feel comfortable at all, but I was a bit of a wimp and made vague excuses until the invitations dried up