AIBU to consider a bilingual nursery for my child?

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Hello everyone

I fully expect to get some comments telling me I’m a pretentious monster but also hoping for some personal experiences and balance! If I get a verdict that I am indeed going full PFB, so be it

I plan to start sending my son to nursery around 7 months old, when I return to work. We’re in West London and prices for nurseries are astronomical. For reference, it doesn’t seem unusual to be quoted £1800+ pcm for five days a week.

I’ve found two nurseries nearby that are bilingual - one is French and English, the other Mandarin and English. From when the kids are small, they talk to them, do circle time etc in both languages. The french one is £1600 pcm for five days, Mandarin is at the expensive end even for nurseries around me, at £1800 pcm. It’s also pretty inconvenient to get to by public transport - the french one is very convenient.

I always struggled with learning languages, DH has always found it easy and speaks three with fluency (so annoying!). I remember, when I was struggling as a teenager with lots of bilingual friends, I wished my parents had had me taught another language. And I figure nurseries are SO expensive, I may as well see if we can get the added benefit of the basics of another language.

On the other hand, he’s a tiny baby. And I don’t want to put pressure on him too. I just want him to be happy and have the best start in life.

Is it silly to consider sending a 7 month old to a bilingual nursery? What about when he’s 2 or 3?

I’m not really sure how much benefit it would have unless one parent also speaks that language at home.

I feel your pain re nursery costs though- we are in West London too.

People tend to put their DC in a bilingual school if they speak the language at home. Seems bizarre to do it otherwise.

Go for it- it cannot do any harm and would give them so many opportunities. Learning a language from so young is such a huge benefit!

DH has always found it easy and speaks three with fluency (so annoying!).

Does he speak French or Mandarin? If so then I would definitely try your son in the corrosoponding nursery, as your DH will be able to help embed the language at home.

If he doesn't then the nursery won't help your son to become billingual. Children pick up languages quickly, but they also lose them quickly if you don't keep it up.

Mandarin at 7 months old? Flamin' hell, mandarin segments maybe...

Speaking as an experienced educator, bilingualism is incredibly good for children for a range of reasons - not simply the acquisition of a second language (it's so good for the brain to be bilingual from an early age and assists in the learning of other languages later).

I'd go with the French one. I know it's currently trendy to get children learning Mandarin, but during my life in education we've had similar 'trends' with German and Japanese. Moreover, learning a 'Romance' language makes it easier to learn other such languages.

If you do this, however, do carry it through after your child leaves that nursery - continue their education in French (via a bilingual or even entirely French after-school club, for example), take holidays where the French can be practised, etc.

I would, especially if it's a language your husband speaks.

If you plan on maintaining the language afterwards (eg sending him to the French Lyceum or another bilingual school, and lots of extracurriculars in that language) then I’d say go for it.

It will be much easier for the baby at 7 months than at 2 or 3yo, but if he stops when he starts school then he’ll lose most of it if not all.

I grew trilingual (home language + 2 local languages) and my 4th language was introduced when I was 5. The benefits of being exposed to multiple languages as a child are immense, but you do need to keep it up as he grows up or he’ll simply lose it all otherwise.

I now speak 7 languages - 5 of them to native / business level and I plan on exposing my kids to as many as possible when the time comes. They won’t be confused especially if there’s a clear setting or person for each language (nursery vs home).

Mandarin segments

Grew up*

I would send her to the French nursery. I don't see why not, but you will have to keep it up. I grew up in a bilingual household (French/English) but once I went to school and realised no one else spoke French I refused at home and I'm now far from fluent in French. It is a big shame.

If your DH speaks one of the languages or if your DC will be doing French/Mandarin at school I think it sounds like a great idea.

My DS2 (20m) goes to Engish speaking nursery in the mornings and then Italian speaking grandmas in the afternoons and doesn't seem confused at all

I went to a bilingual school from nursery age. Definitely not a waste of money, considering been I'm fully bilingual (I even became trilingual at some point!)

If its a language your DH speaks then I would.

I think you’ll probably have to be able to keep the language going at home too for it really have any impact. I grew up learning French alongside English as my father spoke it as a second language. However we didn’t speak it with any real regularity and whilst I do find it easier to learn languages than my husband does, my French speaking skills have taken a real nose dive since my teen years.

Go for it. The French one is the more practical choice because of the opportunities to continue with it as he grows (and with France being so close!). And as a pp mentions, it has links with other languages.

There may not be a huge benefit to this is dc isn't going to speak French at home, this is how he would become fluent.
You would.also need to continue French through school to help it become established or he would forget it all.

It's common in some countries to send children to English speaking nurseries. My DIL went to one, both parents spoke their home language. She is now fuent in 4 languages and did her degree in the UK.

Don’t see why not, little ones have infinite learning capacity. My question would be, if you chose Mandarin (which would probably be more useful when he’s an adult), would he be able to continue with lessons when he moved up to school. If not, it would quickly be forgotten.

It's a huge advantage to 'learn' 2 languages at the same time and will make it easier for them growing up learning more. Only thing I'd say is have a plan for clubs or something afterwards to keep it up if you don't have someone to speak with them at home.

My eldest son grew up trilingual and while he was a wee bit later than expected in talking all was good.
Immersion in another language will be in all likelihood beneficial and certainly of no detriment.
Whether or not your baby will eventually speak that language fluently depends on many other factors.
In my experience (binational family), the only way proper full bilingualism is likely to be achieved is if one language (the one other to the country the child grows up in) is spoken consistently by one parent at all times in all communications.
So in out case when I had my younger kids and my husband (their father) did not have any knowledge of the language and we hardly ever went to the country in question, the bilingualism did not happen as all family communication started to happen in English also because I was usually too tired to consciously slip into my native language which I was not using much.
That said, all my kids had a high level of exposure to the language, can understand a good bit and have found other (unrelated languages) in school easy.
So yes, bi lingual nursery is a good idea, I would go for the cheaper one and be realistic about expectations.

Go for it. However, if you don't speak the langauge at home or anywhere else, I wouldn't expect high levels from just hearing it occasionally at nursery. My DC are trilingual and started learning their 4th when they were 3 years old, but as this is not a language we speak at home, it's nowhere near fluent.

I live in France and I worked in a bilingual nursery for 5 1/2 years. I was the person who spoke in English to the children whilst my colleagues spoke French. All the children understood me when I spoke to them in English, I'm not kidding, I just spoke to them normally and they responded, even if they couldn't speak. As the children got older they could respond to me and we could have little conversations in English. Sometimes we would have strange conversations where they spoke in French, I responded in English, but we understood each other and it was a conversation.

I've recently stopped that job and am now teaching directly in the primary schools in our area, and I've "refound" some of the children who have learned English with me in the previous five years. I can say, of these children, they are so much more confident to try and speak in the English lessons now, they're not afraid of English and actually the ones who listened to me jabbering away in English from when they were six months old to leaving creche at 3 years old now speak English without a French accent.

I don't think any of them had parents who spoke English at home, and in fact the parents used to be gobsmacked when I would speak to the child and ask them for example, to tidy their shoes or hang up their coat, and the child responded naturally.

So personally, I would say go for it if you can, the opportunity for a child to learn a second language at such an early age is a gift, but I also think it makes children more open to learning languages as they become older,

I would absolutely do it.

Extra languages are hyper beneficial in our current world especially if your main language is English (to remain competitive and also expend your horizons) and little kids pick up on them so so quickly.

I would personally pick mandarin as it’s much harder to learn at a later stage but I would make sure they were exposed to it outside of nursery as well so via play dates in Mandarin, TV programs, audio books etc, etc…

I understand 5 languages (speak 3/4 fluently) and it’s made life so much easier for me and also for others I might meet on my travel or who are traveling and might need help but speak little English and not the local language.

Thanks everyone. Really useful reflections and things to think about, especially as regards speaking to him at home. Yes, DH speaks french (I understand it well but get tongue tied when speaking).

Also to mandarin segments.

Thanks again!