To think my one year old goes to bed too late?

[Kickinguptheleaves]

Still up, and sometimes it is as late as 9, although mostly it’s around 8.

Am I a terrible mother?

A lot of babies go to bed really late because they have naps - 1 yo is still a baby. Do what works for you.

Totally depends on what suits your family. My two (now 11 & 15) have never gone to be bed before 9pm. We're a family of Owls & eat together about 7:30/8pm. I was SAHM for 8 years so we had no reason til they went to school to get up early. We all got enough sleep & have never had Y7 b ferry

My youngest is finally getting to the point where she will go to bed before 9 and it’s great. She’s 2 and a half. Prior to that she just wouldn’t be ready to sleep, if we tried to put her in her bed she’d stand up and scream til she was sick. I’m wondering if the people saying ‘just put baby down earlier’ have very different babies! We decided to just be chill about it and let her sit with us whilst we read or watched something grown up but child appropriate (like master chef)
It absolutely doesn’t make you a bad mother! All kids are different.

We all got enough sleep & have never had issues with school. In fact DD1 seems to get more sleep now (in Y10) than most of her friends as staying up is nothing new or exciting here.
There were several years when we could only meet for lunch with friends who had a more conventional bedtime routine but it suited us (& a lot of other countries)

My baby has always gone to bed late. And he eats late, too. Goes to bed between 8 & 9, gets up between 8 & 9 in the morning. I don’t work a 9 to 5 job, so it suits us. We also co-sleep, so I wouldn’t want to go to bed earlier.

I grew up in Spain where young kids and adults all go to bed at the same time - 9.30pm earliest, 10pm more often than not.

The millions of Spanish mothers aren’t terrible mothers, nor are they depriving their kids of anything vital to their development.

You’re fine OP. As long as the baby is getting the necessary hours each day, they’ll be fine too.

It doesn't matter as long as it right for them.

DC1 wakes at 6am no matter what his bedtime is, therefore needs an early bedtime to ensure he gets enough (and he's extremely emotional when over tired).

DC2 sleeps until 7.30 so goes to bed later as she'll self adjust.

@Kickinguptheleaves

So she wakes up between 6 and 7, usually naps for 2-3 hours in the day.

The problem is I go to bed not long after her so don’t get much time to myself!

Your daughter is getting around 11-13 hours sleep a day then, which is basically dead on what children that age need. Actual bedtime is arbitrary in that case.

So no problem. Apart from the lack of time to yourself. Yep, that's what being the parent of young kids is like! Sucks sometimes but it'll pass soon enough.

@Kickinguptheleaves

So she wakes up between 6 and 7, usually naps for 2-3 hours in the day.

The problem is I go to bed not long after her so don’t get much time to myself!

Don’t let her nap that much then

Mine were bathed and having a story in their bedrooms by 6-15 pm then straight to bed .
They didn't go to Nursery so we were home .

I dont understand what you're asking for? To be told their bedtime is ok, or to explore ways to get them to bed earlier so you can have some time?

If I ever put mine to bed earlier than 8:30 he'd be up at ridiculous o'clock the next day.

You do what works for your family, if they are sleeping well and don't appear tired the next day from lack of sleep then you do you.

Dd1 slept best if went to bed at 8.30.she typically slept 12 hours. We tried moving bedtime earlier and she slept less well.

Ds was the opposite and it was a struggle keeping him up to 7 so he didn't wake too early.

Do what suits you.

Don’t let her nap that much then

It's very easy to say this but it depends on the child.

My son was a nightmare for napping. Everyone told me 'just get him to nap earlier in the day' as if it was so easy. He would absolutely point blank refuse to nap in the morning, no amount of car driving, pram pushing, bobbing up down, leaving to cry in the cot or whatever else would make him sleep. Until about 4pm when he'd sleep for 2 hours. Which sounds very late for a nap!

If I kept him up from that nap hed be the grumpiest little gremlin 😂

So I let him do that, then he'd go to actual bed at 8:30 and sleep all the way through until 8 the next morning.

Think I'd try cutting the 2-3hr nap down to 1.5hrs and see if that makes a difference.

@ReallyQuirkyName DS was the same. If I got him to sleep by 2pm he’d sleep until 4pm, but in his ideal world he’d have slept 4pm-7pm then been up all night!

We found audiobooks helped. He would be prepared to lie down and listen to one after lunch, and would end up asleep.