To think my one year old goes to bed too late?

[Kickinguptheleaves]

Still up, and sometimes it is as late as 9, although mostly it’s around 8.

Am I a terrible mother?

No you’re not a terrible mother at all!!

My baby boy has always been a night owl (definitely takes after his dad, not me) and would usually go to sleep around 9/9.30 when he was around one year old.

He’s now 20 months old and still normally goes to bed around 9pm regardless of how early he wakes. He seems to make up for lack of night sleep with daytime naps. Depending on if he’s had 1 or 2 naps in the day, bedtime could be anywhere between 8-9.30 but I’d say normally around 9ish. I used to worry it was too late but we’ve just learnt to go with it x

It's fine, it depends on the baby, no point in going to bed at 7pm if baby will be awake at 3am.

It’s not as simple as putting her to bed earlier. I do try but she just won’t sleep. Around 745 is the earliest I’ve managed.

Mine still awake, she's nearly two. Will sleep 8 or 9 maybe hours max. Did 9.30pm to 5.30 am today, so often it's less. Has one nap of 2 hours. So total sleep usually 10 hours per 24.

@Kickinguptheleaves how many naps and how long? Maybe she needs less daytime sleep never wake a sleeping baby they say. I can help both kids are night owls 🦉

If it works for you and your family then it’s not too late

What works for one child isn’t the same as another.

I used to get grief from my ex SIL because my DD3 went to bed “ridiculously” late at 8.30pm whereas her same-age child went at 7pm. Except mine when at 8.30 and went to sleep. She was still traipsing up and down to hers gone 10pm

@Kickinguptheleaves

It’s not as simple as putting her to bed earlier. I do try but she just won’t sleep. Around 745 is the earliest I’ve managed.

What time does she need to be up in the morning? You'd want her sleeping for 11-12 hours overnight at that age. What time are her naps? How many months is she?

@waterrat

Why does it matter ? Does she have somewhere urgent to be in the morning?!

In Europe .ie Spain children go to bed very kate and have siestas. As long as your child's schedule works for you who cares ?

I think British babies go to bed early and wake up painfully early.

To be fair though, a Spanish schedule probably wouldn’t work for the British lifestyle in a lot of cases (I grew up in Spain, had my first child there then moved to England). When we lived in Spain we kept the baby up late mainly because in the summer it’s far too hot to be outside in the middle of the day, so if they went to bed at 7 they would barely have chance to go out! However children there nap until they’re fairly old and school timetables facilitate that with a long lunch break. Now we’re in England our children go to bed earlier and get up earlier because a) they have to be at nursery/breakfast club early so we can get to work and b) they don’t get chance for a nap in the middle of the day past the age of 4.

However, as long as a child is getting enough sleep over a 24 hour period, it doesn’t particularly matter when they get it, as long as it fits in with your lifestyle and schedule.

There was a point where my then 2 year old wasn't going to bed until around 10pm. She was in a horrible cycle where she really needed a daytime nap but then wasn't ready for bed for hours. There really wasn't much I could do about it, I did try all sorts! Naps at different times, different lengths, trying to keep her going. In the end I just went with it. Less stress! Even now she's dropped her nap she's naturally a late to bed, late to rise type at the weekends.

@Kickinguptheleaves

It’s not as simple as putting her to bed earlier. I do try but she just won’t sleep. Around 745 is the earliest I’ve managed.

What time does she get up? Does she nap?

I was an early bedtime stickler, but really it doesn't matter so long as they get enough sleep!

Bedtimes are meaningless - it’s the amount of sleep they are getting that matters.

Mine is in bed at 8pm because her that is the time she naturally starts feeling tired, it would be pointless putting her to bed sooner. You are definitely not a terrible mother.

I'd rather a late night than very early morning tbh.

Surely it depends on what time they have to wake up. I do t understand the bizarre need to put children to bed early if they don't wake up early. My 2 year old used to wake up at 8 and went to bed at 9. So 21 hours of sleep. He's a thriving 11 year old now and goes to bed at 10 and wakes at 7:30.

11 hours! Not 21.

Mine have always gone to bed at around 8 and they sleep through to 7.30-8ish. I don't want them getting up early, so this suits me!

my LO has always naturally seemed ready for bed around 8-8.30 so that's when it is. he sleeps till 7.30/8am. he is 22mo.

Mine were in bed for 6.30-7 but that's firstly because they were tired and second because DH and I wanted some time alone together. But we are early risers.

It doesn't make you a bad parent, just a different family with different priorities/routines.

Mine went to bed at 8 until he dropped his nap - he now really needs to be asleep by 7 (he's 3) and I find it a pain, really, it cuts the day so short and makes the evening a rush. I know lots of people who put their children to bed at a time that I'd consider late afternoon, and they are all shocked - just shocked - that their child, who was given dinner at 4pm, is awake and wants breakfast at 5am...

Yabu to think that this would make you a terrible parent! All kids are different!

Nah, it's fine. I have a friend who's intent on the kids being in bed for 6.30 - 7.00pm and posts stories on Instagram at 4.30-5.00am of them wide awake watching Peppa Pig.

I'm quite happy DS going to bed at 9.30pm and waking at 7-8.00am each day.

My 16 month old goes to bed at 8pm, sometimes 8:30pm. If I shifted it to 7pm, she’d be up at 5am like clockwork and my brain would melt if that happened daily. The approx sleep requirements in 24 hours at this age are 11-14 hours including naps so as long as she’s getting enough sleep and 8pm is working for you, I really wouldn’t borrow trouble unnecessarily.

It’s not terribly late. My DS is nearly 1 and he goes to bed at 8. Used to be 7:30 but then he stopped sleeping 12 hours and now does 10.5-11 hours so needed to adjust to stop him getting up at the crack of dawn!
You could try putting her down 5-10 mins earlier and each time if you want her to go slightly earlier.

I live in Portugal- 9-9.30 is the norm for kids. Luckily as there's no chance my oldest would have gone to bed earlier- he was anti sleep and 10.30 was winning. He's the same now. Do what works for your family.