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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think colleague shouldn’t be on permanent WFH due to his DW’s Covid risk?

208 replies

oober6 · 09/11/2021 10:28

As in the title really.

The world has opened up, social distancing requirements have gone, vaccines have given us all plenty of protection.

We are key workers who have worked throughout, coming into work every day. I would love to be able to WFH! It would be a lot less pressurised, and of course, no commute etc.

AIBU to think management should now be telling our colleague that he has to start coming back into work? He is healthy and fit.

OP posts:
3cats2kids1dog · 09/11/2021 10:34

how do you know he is healthy and fit?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/11/2021 10:35

Does the business require people to be present in a specific place during specific hours?

SickAndTiredAgain · 09/11/2021 10:35

Does it affect you in any way? Sounds like nothing to do with you really, and you just want to say “well if I can’t wfh, why should he”

PurplePikachu · 09/11/2021 10:36

How is this your business? Other than jealousy that he’s getting a perk you want and don’t have? How do you know he even wants to WFH? Maybe he’s lonely, depressed, missing the office but feels he has to protect his wife by staying home?
All good businesses are still allowing at risk people (and people who live with at risk people) to work from home if that’s possible, why wouldn’t they?

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/11/2021 10:39

He didn’t decide that by himself did he, management have agreed to it. If you want to wfh then put your case to them.

And can we please finally stop talking about key workers. It seems to encompass everything from surgeons and supermarket staff to people who work in accounts for water companies so it means nothing.

BonnesVacances · 09/11/2021 10:39

You have no idea what his personal circumstances are. And other countries have more stringent measures in place, so whether social distancing is required or not in this country, it does not mean the risk has gone. This is one of the biggest issues around messaging in this country. Frankly I couldn't give a shit if people are too stupid themselves to assess risk, but YABVU to assume your perception is superior to his.

Chasingaftermidnight · 09/11/2021 10:39

So his wife is ECV? I’ve no experience of being ECV or living with an ECV person but I can imagine it’s actually extremely scary and isolating.

blueberryporridge · 09/11/2021 10:39

There are still lots of people catching Covid and some are getting very ill or even dying from it. If your colleague can do his work from home and help keep his wife safe, why would you grudge him that?

x2boys · 09/11/2021 10:39

It's up to the management to sort out .

NothingSafe · 09/11/2021 10:40

None of your business, really.

LolaSmiles · 09/11/2021 10:41

YABU His arrangements are between him and management.

This is yet another moaning rush to the bottom post where someone wants to complain someone else has a different arrangement to them.

DifferentHair · 09/11/2021 10:41

I don't understand why it matters to you.

Are you unable to WFH because someone has to be in the office? So him WFH means you cannot?

Original poster
oober6 · 09/11/2021 10:42

@blueberryporridge

There are still lots of people catching Covid and some are getting very ill or even dying from it. If your colleague can do his work from home and help keep his wife safe, why would you grudge him that?
Because we are picking up the slack, and because we have more work to do as a result.

Shielding has been ended now.

The kids go to school, they go on day trips, they go shopping… but he can’t come to work.

OP posts:
nether · 09/11/2021 10:42

It depends what that risk is, doesn't it?

If she is one of the 500,000 who get a third primary jab (highly immune suppressed, eg transplant recipient, living with blood cancer, on active treatment for other cancers, on heavy-duty immune suppressant drugs) then its entirely reasonable

madisonbridges · 09/11/2021 10:43

@SickAndTiredAgain

Does it affect you in any way? Sounds like nothing to do with you really, and you just want to say “well if I can’t wfh, why should he”
I'd probably think this way too.
Original poster
oober6 · 09/11/2021 10:43

@nether

It depends what that risk is, doesn't it?

If she is one of the 500,000 who get a third primary jab (highly immune suppressed, eg transplant recipient, living with blood cancer, on active treatment for other cancers, on heavy-duty immune suppressant drugs) then its entirely reasonable

She isn’t in that group.
OP posts:
LittleDandelionClock · 09/11/2021 10:43

You sound very jealous @oober6 Wink

StormBaby · 09/11/2021 10:43

I live with an ECV elderly family member and my work told me it was tough shit and it wasn’t viable for the business for me to work from home. I then found out that someone in a southern branch doing my job has moved up north and was still doing the job from their new home. I was extremely pissed off. I hate these double standards.

8dpwoah · 09/11/2021 10:43

We have more family members who have or have recently had covid in the last month than we have had through the whole pandemic (mostly fully vaccinated as well) although fortunately they all seem to be getting through it fairly well.

It's rife and it's precisely because the world is opening up and people are being less cautious that if I were still in a risky category I'd be being just as careful as I was last winter, as much as I could.

KittenCatcher · 09/11/2021 10:43

Why dont you ask your manager.

Alicetheowl · 09/11/2021 10:44

Why don't use it as a chance to point out that the job can be done WFH so suggest the company adopt a policy that all can do it either all days or some days? Does somebody have to physically be in the office?

LolaSmiles · 09/11/2021 10:45

Because we are picking up the slack, and because we have more work to do as a result.
If workload isn't being allocated appropriately then that's a management issue and you need to speak to your manager about workload without moaning about your colleague's circumstances.
Shielding has been ended now.
And schools have been back to normal since September, but it doesn't mean the risks have gone.

If you have a problem with YOUR job then speak to your manager about your job. Someone else's situation is none of your business.

BadlyFormedQuestion · 09/11/2021 10:46

I’m going to put it to you that you do not know as much about your colleague’s circumstances (or his wife’s health) as you think you do.

This stuff is personal and people don’t broadcast it.

Your colleague has clearly discussed this with his manager(s) and they have agreed that a WFH adjustment is appropriate.

Rather than deciding you know better and getting on your high horse, maybe you could feel grateful that you don’t need to ask for this kind of adjustment (and have your colleagues get all judgemental about it).

politics4me · 09/11/2021 10:47

You need to make the points about extra work load on you and other colleagues to your managers. Your line manager and if possible someone higher who can take decisions. Then see what the response is.

ImUninsultable · 09/11/2021 10:48

Stop doing the extra work.

If your employer has decided that this employee can permanently work from him then they need to ensure that all the work is being done.

Call a meeting with your manager, explain the impact of the added workload because of this person's absence and ask how they are going to take the pressure off you and give the work back to them.

If you're feeling so much pressure to get the work done because this person is doing less work (for the same pay) that you're feeling this resentful then maybe you need some time off. If you're feeling the stress build up then get signed off for a week or 2 and take a break.

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